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Oh god Chuck, love the disclaimer! lmao

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Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. (I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.)

Thank you. Something about being married and gaining weight makes what was once hard, now impossible.

tis why I avoid car sex... we finished our date on a baseball field, and noone shone any flashlights on us there. Lesson.. better to have sex in a truly public place than in the woods!  

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Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. (I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.)

i had a flashlight or two in my day, as well. don't know which was most embarrasing, being caught naked (for obvious reasons) or being caught just sitting there talking (as though the guy didn't want me naked).

most embarassing...well, i dated this married guy for a while. i knew he went back to his wife (actually followed her to england, to be honest) and i saw them about a year later. well, the guy was a friend-of-a-friend in the first place, and the wife made some small talk about how billy had told her about all the fun he had while she was gone with gary and myself, and i said, "oh, yes, i had a lot of fun with your husband." damn good thing i am an actress--i kept a straight face, didn't blush, and walked off mith my head held high.

is the lesson here not to date married guys, or not to meet their wives afterwards?

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[glow=darkorchid]Musica delenit bestiam feram[/glow]

Hmmm..... I'll go with door #1!!!  LOL

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Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. (I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.)

Being in the next car alone naked while a couple is talking one car over during daylight can be quite embarassing actually (I mean I can imagine it could be, how'd I know).

<Btw, I had no way of knowing those birdwatching binoculars were in the backseat>

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

 Remind me not to park near you!

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Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. (I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.)

Why ?

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

*points at the "birdwatching" binoculars*

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Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. (I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.)

Not true!...Car sex is great if you have it with the right car......When I was 18 I had a Boss 429 Mustang.....I'd still be with her if I hadn't gotten married.

yeah but I like to have room to move... and no car is gonna provide enough of that

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Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. (I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.)

Ok, it's time i confessed to one of my most embarrassing moments.....

I was dating a gal in Milwaukee...Sandra...she was polack....We went parking....Ended up at a suburban ball park after dark...I eased my Mustang onto the dark field thru an unlocked gate and we got busy in the back seat......Afterwards, she tried to toss a lit butt thru the car window and instead it bounced off the inside of the window and ended up falling into my naked lap.....where it burned the end of my now limber member...so I jump out of the car naked trying to slap the fire outta my lap and next thing I know I'm bathed in the spotlight of a cop car.....One of them is a female cop.

She laffs at me and looks in the back of the stang and notices Sandra.....Then she asks Sandra if her parents know where she is....Turns out she knows Sandra and her parents.

Yeah, I was embarrassed

Oh, let's not forget the new submarine squadron medical officer at squadron 6 in Norfolk.....she was female.....I didn't know that she was female until I went for my discharge physical.

The last part of the physical is always where they lube up their finger and ask you to touch your toes....and then they ask you if it hurts.

When she asked, I turned to look her straight in the eye and grinned and said....'No mame, that feels GOOD!"

She yanked her glove off and slapped me with it.  LMAO  LMAO  LMAO

If she didn't want an honest answer, why did she ask the question to begin with ?

I don't know why they have females doing that type indignant exam on males that don't want females doing it.

You ever up to Groton Keith ?


At least she didn't keep asking,  OK, now how many fingers am I holding up?  




That's the part I hate.. that's what hurts

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

You mean "Rotten Groton"?...That's what we submarine sailors called it.

Yeah, been there done that...don't miss it......I spent a winter there with ice on the INSIDE of my bedroom windows....My classic 1965 Ford was buried in snow in the parking lot the whole time I was there....I hated that place!

Yep.  Groton is about 45 minutes away from me.. Thames river Groton/New London.  That where Electric boat is

I was only down there once.  It really is a rundown area

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Yep, I fersure need to rescue you!


Get yer chit packed....Leave the winter stuff.

Actually the area I'm in is nowhere near like that,  that area is pretty dumpy.. I'm in a worse area,  the wannabe affluent.  Most got the money on a silver platter... Never earned it, don't really know the meaning of the tax-payers dollar.

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

When I was in high school in Minnesota I dated a girl who lived about five miles down a dirt road. Of course in the Winter time that was the perfect car date, so every time I would drive her home we would take some happy time to park on that dark winter road.

We were hot and heavy and completely naked except maybe a couple of socks or something and all of the sudden out of nowhere a flashlight is shining in the window. Lori starts screaming and grabbing clothes and then I see through the fogged up windows that this is a police officer.  I'm trying to cover myself but roll down the window of my 1st car, a 1969 Cadillac Eldorado (black leather interior/ great stereo/super make out car). Instead of giving us the third degree, he apologizes (believe it or not) and says sorry folks, I thought maybe you were having car trouble and says "Merry Christmas" and walks back to his patrol car. Well, it ruined the sex but I sure was glad he was a hellaciously nice guy because he could have made it pretty bad for us.  We used to laugh about that night. She had gotten so scared because she thought maybe it was going to be some weirdo who might have some odd ideas. (That never even crossed my mind) I have about 100 more like this one. I guess most of us do who were active (so to speak).  

I just started laughing because I thought I might relate another that is more embarrassing thatn that one but it borders on, well fairly nasty. I was driving my El Dorado down to St Paul (Minnesota) from Chisago Lakes (about 30 miles) and Lori was being especially nice to me as I drove 95 miles an hour down the highway. I was passing traffic and speeding up as I passed them when suddenly I realized a Ford pickup had done about 110 to catch up to us and there was a couple in it with the woman in the passenger seat giving us the high five. I think I just said like, "Oh my God!".  Lori just stopped and started laughing and I just put a hand over my face so the peeps in the truck couldn't see my face.  That was a wakeup call and yes it killed the moment to say the least for me.  I was a helluva horndog in high school but it had limits.  Hope this wasn't over the edge. Maybe leaving this reply will be a new source of embarrassment for me. Maybe I'll be telling about this email in another forum some day. Who knows?

-Jeff (I'm a baaaad man!)

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Who loves ya baby?

I purchased a white bathing suite that I really liked - went to pool, jumped in, swam to the other end of pool, got out of pool - bathing suite had no liner.  I was basically standing there nude.  The bad part was that everybody notice but me.  They had a great laugh at my expense, and if I remember correctly the eighty-eight year old lady that was drinking a martini fell in love with me.

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Singing just for you