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Subject: Finally,A smart blonde joke


A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan
Officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for three weeks and
needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind
of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls
Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the
title and everything checks out.
The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's
president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a
$250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank
then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and
parks it there.
Three weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the
interest, which comes to $18.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very
happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very
well, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out
and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would
bother to borrow $5,000?"
The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for
three weeks for only $18.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

The first blonde guy joke:



An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and
the Irishman said,"Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and
cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."  
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get
burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blonde opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a bologna
sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and
cabbage, and jumped to his death.
The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death
as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping.  She said, "If  I'd
known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would
have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or
enchiladas!  I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,
"Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch."

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

Blonde Diary:

Dear Diary,

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double pane energy efficient kinds, but this week, I got a call from the contractor who installed them.

He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I hadn't paid for them.

Now just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.

So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told ME last year......namely, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!  

Hellooooo?

It's been a year! (I told him.)

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up....

He didn't call back.

A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over. The police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a blonde. She asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?' Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!" The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license", then handed it to the blonde policewoman. The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this." [highlight=deepskyblue][/highlight]

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Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. (I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.)

Judi, the blonde, runs crying into the office.

"What's wrong?" gasps her best friend Carol.

"It's my boyfriend." gushes Judi.

"He was working on the engine under the hood of his car when the lid came down and cut off a finger!"

"My god", shrieks Carol. "Did it amputate his WHOLE finger!?"

"No thank goodness" sniffs Judi. "But it was the one just next to it!"

A blonde from Arkansas is going on her first overseas trip.

She drives all the way into Little Rock to apply for a passport.

In the passport office, the government official sees that she is visibly puzzled filling her passport application.

The passport official looks over her shoulder and sees the blonde trying to write 'twice a week' into the small space labeled 'SEX'.

The official explains: "No, no, no.

That is not what we mean by this question.

We are asking 'Male' or 'Female'."

"Doesn't matter," the blonde answers.

true story....well almost.
a blonde lady went to a body shop to get the hail dents taken out of her car.  the owner didn't feel like dealing with her so he told her she could save money by just blowing on the tail pipe and the dents would pop right out.

the blonde thatnks him for the info and drives home.  Not being a complete idiot she waits for the car to cool down then goes out and starts huffing and puffing on the tail pipe.  her redheaded roomate comes home to see this and asks just what the hell she's doing.  the blonde tells her about fixing the dents and the redhead replies

"You blondes are sooooooo stupid!  you won't get any pressure built up if you don't roll up the windows!"

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All work and no play make Homer something something

A blonde walks into a casino in Vegas.  She is really excited by all the noises and lights.
She goes the cashier and gets a bunch of rolls of quarters and procedes to the nearest machine.
The security guys, being men, check her out as she saunters to the machine.  The blonde puts in some quarters and out pops a soda.  She jumps up and down squealing.  She does this again and again, squealing after each soda comes out.
The guys look at each other perplexed.  They walk over to the blonde and ask her if she is okay.
The blonde says she is fine and drops in some more quarters.
The guard says "what do you think you are doing?"
The blonde looks at them both and says "duh, i'm winning!!"

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[scroll]we're men, manly men, we're men in tights[/scroll]

i like to play the change machines, myself.  that way i never lose.....on the down side i never win either.

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All work and no play make Homer something something

A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down.

The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?"

"Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"

"Not for me.

I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck.

My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo.

They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day.


Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me?

I'll give you $100 for your trouble."

"I'd be happy to," said the blonde.

So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts.

Off they went.

Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified!!

There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd.

With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde.

What the heck are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."

"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde," but we had money left over---so now we're going to Sea World.

A blond was walking down the street in New York City. Native born, she knows she is very savvy to all the necessities required for making it in the Big Apple when she comes across a couple from out of town who were having trouble hailing a cab.

She goes up to the couple and says "You can't hail a cab by holding up your hand. you have to make yourself heard!"

The couple askED if she could help them and the blond said "Be glad to".

So the blond walked to the curb. put both fingers in her mouth and yelled: TAXI!

A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?"

"Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?"

"Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces."

"Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is."

"It's a big rooster," she said.

The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."

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SAY IT WITH MUSIC!!!!

If you think that's a hard one,  try cheerio's, all the puzzle pieces look the same.

or that 3-D puzzle  "cocoa puff's"

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

I like this that Dolly Parton said:

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
Dolly Parton (American country Singer and Actress)

 LMAO

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SAY IT WITH MUSIC!!!!

Is she blonde ?


For all we know, she might not be.

_________________
Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

How many of the "Blonde supermodel's" are true blondes ?

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

 LMAO

Read it....She knows she's not blonde either...

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SAY IT WITH MUSIC!!!!

I'm not a true a blonde...I hide my intelligence every 6 weeks!!!!

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SAY IT WITH MUSIC!!!!

I need to take my ADHD meds,  I'll reread it later.. stormy mind here

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Not me...  LMAO