Karaoke Forums

i always knew going in i COULD lose, and i COULD win, really up to me to decide which i want...if i gave 100% i won everytime, even tho i lost....l..that make sense? but i know what ur talking about steven, i was prepared either way it went, win some lose some....thats life....

Maybe that's what I need to work on Billy.  Not just in this competitive area specifically, yet in dealing with that which I don't have control of.. Such as even area's like "Boards", or even self-doubt, anger and self-image, since the bottomline is how we feel about ourselves..  Let me explain what I mean... Take something simple, yet VERY hard for those of us with "control" issues to apply.

Serenity Prayer

"grant me the serenity to accept the thing I can't change. (have no control of)
grant me the courage to change the thing's I can change  
and the Wisdom to know the difference"

OTHER PEOPLE can drive us crazy unless we make the decision to accept that we only have control over certain reactions WE have, to what other's do, in this case, How well they do.  I think some of us can only intellectually say "We know we aren't the best", there's something that makes us feel compelled still to be "the best", and each time we are reminded that we aren't the best, it feel's as though (for some reason we are learning this for the first time. We haven't absorbed the fact). We can't control audience feeling ultimately, or judges opinions, even though that's in a sense what we are trying to do when we compete.  

We can't control how an audience votes, or who the judges like.  We can't control how well our competition does... When someone just happens to be better in an area I take pride in being good at, how I perceive "defeat", and for whatever reason, the way I continue punishing myself for what I consider "failing" OR couldn't be good enough at; is the only real defeat or fight that's taking place.  

The problem is that I'm not being reasonable.  If I'm not satisfied just knowing (as you mentioned) that I already won just having performed "the best I can", or if I can't feel MY giving 100% is good enough, there's a problem that need's to be addressed despite whether I ever again will, or will not enter a competition. There's an "ego" problem.. Or perhaps need to be something I can't be.  There's an underlying issue.. Self-image.

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

I just want to echo what Badsinger (and others) have said. If I compete and give 100%, I consider myself a winner, even if someone else was a little better. No matter what you compete at, there's always going to be someone a little better than you. Even the fastest runners in the world don't win every race. On any given day someone who's almost as fast may beat you, because they were feeling a little better that day or they anticipated the starting gun better, or maybe you had to run around someone, because of lane position, that didn't affect the winner.

I happen to be a pretty good pool player and I compete in a local APA league. I'm not even the best player on my team, much less the best in the league. I've noticed when I'm just playing for practice in a bar, I can usually "hold the table" 6 to 10 games in a row. But on league night, because we use a handicap system and I'm usually playing someone on a comparable skill level, I only win a little more than half of my matches. Winning is great, but I try not to focus on how my opponent did; I look at how well I played, and what I need to work on to get better. I've gotten a lot better since I started competing, but I still have quite a way to go. That's why I comete. It brings out the best in me and makes me a better player.

You could have 30 students in a math class and 20 of them could get an "A" on a test, because they're not competing against each other and there's a defined standard. Your answers are either "right" or they're "wrong." In a karaoke (or any other) competition, you could be up against a lot of nines, or against a lot of fours and fives. Add to that the fact that judgeing is subjectively based not just on singing, but it's affected by song selection (what the judges like), stage presence, appearence, audience respone, and even by when you sang, and who sang before and after you, and I can't imagine how anybody could get upset when they don't win it. If 3 judges place you 3rd, that doesn't mean that 3 other judges wouldn't have placed you first in the exact same competition. I'm pretty good at pool in a bar, I'm not that good in a statewide competition, and I'd get blown away against the best pool players in the nation. The level of competition doesn't make me any better or worse than I am, it just shows me where I am, and where I want to be.

I used to be a much better singer than I am now, but at 42, years of cigarettes, caffeine, and alcohol has damaged my voice, killed my falsetto and reduced my range. I don't compete in karaoke contests anymore, Unless there is no entry fee and it's just for one night. I wish I could still sing well, but I accept the fact that there are some things I can't do now as well as I did when I was 20. I still love to compete, I've just found other things to compete at. It doesn't bother me that I'm not the best. I just try to be the best that Ican be.

I wish my train of thought was a little better organized in this post, but I hope my point is understood. When I was a distance runner in high school I tried to run my "personal best." When I shoot pool I try to win every game. When I used to sing in karaoke competitions, I tried to sing the best I could. Coping with defeat was easy, If I know I did my best. I don't care if someone else did better than me.

Well, I do care, but I can accept it, and move on.

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[highlight=purple]The Truth is out there. ... Way, way out there![/highlight]

Your train of thought was excellent, and your point was made.  Let me ask you this however.  What is it that you enjoy about "Competition Pool" Competition Singing, as opposed to just playing pool, and singing ?   What do you like about the "competitive" aspects ?   What do YOU derive out've it if you win,  OR if you lose ?  etc.  as opposed to just play the game ?  Is or Isn't competition about ego ?


What is it that "Competition" does for people ?   Is it a type of rush, such as "putting money down", that add's excitement to a regular bland routine by getting your adrenaline going  ?  We've discussed how people perceive the win/lose process, but why do people voluntarily enjoy pitting themselves against other's ?  What is the sensation you get ?  If something means the world to you, would you wish to compete in it ?  or not put yourself in a position where any aspects of negativism might impede the love of your hobby/interest ?

I suppose it's obvious where I'm coming from.  I view competition as negative.

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

i feel life in it self is a competition,  we compete for jobs, woman, how can u go thru life and NOT compete? i'm sure u urself have competed for a lady in one from r another...same with a job...its all about beating the other guy out...some things r more serious then others, in a band its ur livelyhood, in a contest for say 5,000 bucks, u need that money it would make a differents, so u compete...

i'm not so sure its ego as much as braggin rights...that may be the same thing but to me its not....because braggin rights might only last a night r a few hrs...ok maybe it is ego, and pride...nothing wrong with giving it 100% and being rewarded when u do give 100%...because alotta times u don't get that reward 100% r not...its nice seeing ur work pay off like in anything else...its a measureing stick of how good u r so to speak, again if only for a night....no that doesn't make sense but o well...i seldom do anyway...llll....take care my friend

What do I get out of competing? That's a difficult question to answer. I never really thought about why I enjoy it, I just know that I do. I think when you win the answer is pretty obvious. Everyone enjoys getting recognized for doing well. We want that acknowledgement that our efforts are appreciated. We want that "pat on the back," so to speak. When I win my match, it not only makes me feel good; it also makes my teammates happy. It feels a lot better to hear "good job," and "great shot," than it does to hear "good try. You almost beat him, but don't feel bad. He was really good." APA Pool leagues are team competitions, so I guess none of that would apply to a karaoke contest, or other types of individual competitions.

Now that you've got me thinking about it, I guess I like the competing itself at least as much, if not more than the winning. I always compete, but I don't always win. There's an adrenelene rush that comes with getting in the spotlight, and performing under pressure, whether it's on a stage or at the table. I always get nervous when the match is tied 2-2 and a win or a loss is riding on how well I play. But it feels great when I'm able to harness that energy and use it to focus, step up my game, and win, and not let my nerves get the better of me of me and throw my game off. There are also all those little thrills during the competition. In pool it's the thrill of making that tough combination or bank shot, or running off six balls in a row to come back from behind and win the game. In karaoke it was the thrill of hitting those high notes on the bridge, nailing a song, getting the crowd involved, and hearing the applause as you walk off the stage. And (rarely in my case) it was the thrill of standing up there with all the other singers and hearing your name called as one of the top three or even being the winner.

It's the same thing with being a KJ / DJ host. I'm not competing with anybody, per se, but I'm still being judged. When I can feel the energy of the crowd building as the night goes on, get people dancing, and not wanting me to quit at last call, I get the same kind of rush.  If I win, it means more to me that people were entertained/moved/made happy by what I did than the personal recognition does.

I don't know. I'm pretty good, but not one of the best. So a win is a big deal to me. I guess if I was a great singer or a great pool player and I expected to win every time, I would be more dissapointed when I lose. But I'm not ... so I'm not!

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[highlight=purple]The Truth is out there. ... Way, way out there![/highlight]

I never entered a contest.    Never will.     I would hate to see all the tears when I blow everyone away.

OK,  for some reason you just got me thinking of Bachman & Cummings..  (The Song Laughing I suppose).  Are these two still scheduled to tour Canada this summer ?  I don't know who the "Carpet Frog's" are, but I'm going to look them up..

Monster musicians both of them !  What happened to "The Guess Who" reunion ?  Weren't they back together for the Canadian reunion tour as of last year at least ?  Hey Tim, or one of you good folks up North, what's with Cummings, and Bachman these days ????

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".