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Steve & Keith, I feel so bad for you guys. So much pain! I'm more in line with Flipper. I'm still friends with all my ex's. The only reason we got together in the first place is because we were friends to begin with. My last ex (1999-2004) has come in when I'm doing a show, with her current boyfriend! I never had a problem with either one of them and they were always nice to me. I'm glad she's happy now and I wish nothing but the best for her.

It's too bad you guys feel all this pain/friction when encountering your ex's. I don't know if that says more about you or the women you choose to be close to.  :cry:

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[highlight=purple]The Truth is out there. ... Way, way out there![/highlight]

I don't have "an ex". I mean, ex BOYfriends, but from years ago..... and I really don't think I'd run into any of them here.

I'm with Amanda.... if there was ever a chance one of HIS ex's would show up.... I'd have to totally put on a show and sing like there was no tomorrow. Jealousy wouldn't let me do anything less.  But none of his ex girlfriends are around here either.

It helps with that kinda stuff when you get married then move to a new state.  LOL

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

I'd never speak for Keith in this sense because outside of us both feeling prone to discomfort given certain situations we feel the discomfort for different reasons. I will however speak for myself;

In my particular case it says ALOT about me, my perspective on females, and my confusion when dealing with passion, love, sexuality, attraction, and finally "letting go" of something I develop an attachment to. Beit a person, or object I'll try to be honest and say it MIGHT even be a type of attachment disorder, feeling of possession, territorialism, and depersonalizing a "female" I'm attracted to. In a sense I believe MANY at some point do this.  How many when younger view someone they are physically (or sexually) attracted to as an actual "person" vs an object of attraction ?

Sounds crass I know,  yet I'm speaking my truth..  and I believe the truth for many that get confused when lust, attraction get's concocted with "real relationship" assuming the relationship ever is "real".  I think the best way to describe it is that some of us become victims of our sexist culture.  Many males AND females are a bit "sexist"..  This makes it tough to sustain a relationship with another human equal. Is it often the person we are initially attracted to, or their shell ?  The shell is the physical object..

JMO

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Steven, I think you missed your calling.  You should have been cast in amid 70's to early '80s Woody Allen movie.  :)

Actually I didn't miss it.  I ran like hell when they casted me as the part of Soon-Yi

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

steven? i think the clubs r very different now then when we played music in them...
yea guys r still after girls, girls after guys...and guys after guys and girls after girls....wait!!! ok maybe there not different after all... ...

i think every ex is different, male r female...depends on the relationship, an ex that lasted 2 yrs with you may last a life time with someone else, and vice-versa...

to me a person who is worried HOW a relationship will end, as in scared to get hurt is doomed already...give ur all, exspect the best....what more can you do?  if you don't give ur best then who's fault is it when it doesn't work out? and why would a person worry about getting hurt r the relationship NOT working out when he doesn't give his best?  then he goes thru life scared to get involved with another woman...
i'm not typing this to you steven but there r guys and lady's that r like that,  

To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the Gift."  i think i read that somewhere...ll....treat a lady like a lady and you stand a lot better chance of getting a lady in return...i found anyway....JMO....

Sure we do, but our ghetto is like a white trash redneck neighborhood gone bad. Instead of gold teeth we do the whole no teeth thing...

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breez i thought u were talking about my family for a min. there....i'm over it now....

I agree,  I think the term self-fulfilling prophecy comes into play here. We often do write our own script !   Thing is Billy,  when we've established strong defenses trying to break them is a tough process.  That's why I'm spending alot of time alone now... I think it's important for me to have a relationship with myself first (no, not in that way)..

Alot has changed since we were playing in these bars, because WE have changed too.. We are older now, and our emotional needs change too as we change.  So what I'm trying to do is establish a relationship with myself, which is something I never established when younger, I was too busy running away into the hedonistic stuff such as sex,drugs, and R&R... It's what I did, yet it was a hedonistic weird existence...I'm trying to now spend time grounding myself at least somewhat, and hopefully establish a spiritual anchor enabling me to help change my perspective...
Part of the problem in those days Billy, at least for me, is that I was too needy, and doing weird stuff to run away from who I was.... Thing is looking outside of women to settle my problems is VERY important, and for a long time women were a bandaid..

As we were discussing I think SOME type of spiritual belief is crucial in this screwy world..People do let us down at times, and I've put too many egg's in the wrong basket... My probem has been needing a woman to be my God.

I think this is a mistake many do in fact make when younger... Some marry, and in general end up in dysfunctional relationships looking for a panacea to "Make their difficulties go away", they seem to feel a relationship will work a positive magic and erase all their negatives, or they won't need to go thru Hell alone, naturally they end up adding to their existing probs...

It get's confusing,  yet I did become dependant on EVERYTHING outside of me in the past..  Never a good thing.

You know what's a slap in the face implying this must be true ?  When the two past shrink's I saw tell me "Man, you've got to believe in something !", you need a spiritual belief...

Currently I believe in nothing, and trust very little..

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

nope, but it was a pretty good description of mine...

I'll admit it though, I have the white trash part down pretty good. It seems once you've lived somewhere like Olivehurst, Ca on the bad side of the tracks, there's no moving up in some people's eyes. That's why mi familia is the "White Trash Mafia!"

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   I like the "gone bad" at the end  LMAO

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Is there a dictionary that define's "White Trash" ?  Every location seem's to have a different definition of this.  I grew up in an extremely affluent area where everyone was screwing everyone elses spouse... Noone was loyal to anyone else, noone seemed trustworthy, and everything was bought.. Problem is for some of these shallow idiot's making well into 6 digit incomes in the 1960's, If it could be bought, it was enough... Of course then it was a big mystery to these "adults" why THEY suffered so much, were drug and alcohol addicted, and had no "real friends",as if only they bled and felt pain when cut..

I thought that was "White Trash"..  I don't really know what the actual definition of White trash is I suppose...Assuming there is one definition.

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Oh- my GOD........ I lived out at Loma Rica, but once-when I was first married, we lived in Olivehurst for about a year. I hated that town. I can SO verify the truth of what you're saying. They make Ghetto-Rednecks look like rich folk, haha.

Yuba City, from what I recall (it's been about 14 years since I "lived" there) was a pretty cool town. I always liked some of the outlying towns better though- LiveOak and Gridley..... and of course I loved Loma Rica, and farther up the hill towards Challenge & Grass Valley.

It's so wierd... talking to someone online who actually lives there.

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

Idk... I've never really thought of that. I use the term endearingly almost to the way I was raised (in a neighborhood that was coined "White Trash" by almost everyone I knew.) I was the girl that didn't have new clothes for every occasion; I wore hand me downs. My mom was a single, young mom. My dad's in prison... On the other hand, I watch Jerry Springer and think "Man, white trash" or see a druggie on the side of the road with a hardly concealed bottle of booze in their hand and think "White Trash." There's lots of other instances I can think of where I just stereotyped someone by their looks or way of living into the "white trash" catagory.

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Gawd, the way I was raised........ Yes, all hand me downs, or clothes made by my mom..... we were always poor. But I loved it- we had other things some kids grew up without. Namely the music. And we would be insulted if someone tried to claim we were NOT redneck.  LOL

I wouldn't change it if I could though.... I always hated those rich little stuck up girls.

One term I never liked..... was "trailer trash". It seemed to insinuate you were, uh.... (what's a word I can use here??).... loose with your virtue? So, I grew up swearing to never ever live in a trailer. (which, haha, I did in Olivehurst)

But, I guess some people would consider "White Trash" and "Redneck" to be one and the same.

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

Um, maybe listen to the song "Redneck Woman"........ I think that's about the closest I could say I've ever heard "White Trash" defined.  LOL  Or, what rich folk would call "white trash" anyhow.

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

Yeah, I know, the term "trailer trash" never really did well with me either. My aunt lives in a trailer in Olivehurst and even though it's super clean, she takes really good care of it... my cousins are still called trailer trash. It's funny how living in a certain area, and not having a lot of money can follow you. My mom lives in yuba city (like 15 min. away) and she has a super job, but people still remember her and the fact that she lived in Olivehurst, like it makes her dirty or something. I just tell her that she's moved up, now she's high class white trash.

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Yup, that's true. I have a sister..... who married into a very well to do family. (hey, the one who let me drive the 4x4 when I was 13, LoL). Now, they own a very profitable business in town, they have a huge new home, her and hubby both have expensive brand new trucks & SUV's, a huge new motorhome..... but her white trash leaks out every now & again still. Even though her in laws tried their darndest to rub it out of her.  If it's in the blood, it's in the blood. I say.... who cares what others think? They can call me what they want- I'd rather be who I am than who they are anyhow. To some- money is everything. Money can be a good thing- but too many who HAVE lots of it- let it rule their lives. And in general, I feel sorry for them.  

[schild=1 fontcolor=FF0000 shadowcolor=C0C0C0 shieldshadow=1]Proud to be Redneck[/schild]

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

White Trash:


- Spends $4.00 a day on smokes ($120.00/month), but their kids eat free lunch at school and have hand me down clothes.

- Spends $50 a night in a bar (3 nights a week/$600 a month) while they leave their kids at home with their grandmother...again with old crap clothes...living in a (@$%&#!) hole trailer with their POS boyfriend who sells weed.

- Spends $4.00 a day for dip but can't afford a tooth brush or toothpaste... (hey nice black and rotting out of your mouth teeth there buddy)


....I don't think the amount of resources one has (money) has anything to do with it.
There are BASIC principles that one does not need MONEY to fall within the normal range of human decency... cleanliness, hygiene, putting your kids first...staying out of a bar if you have kids that you can't afford to support... ya know things like that.

Well, no........ IF you're one of the poor people being categorized into the "white trash" category....... it's not the same. And - has nothing to do with money.

It's the well-to-do people, who have never known any kind of hardships in life.......who group anyone together who ever wears hand me downs, or whose car spurts a little gray smoke out the tailpipe (or heaven forbid, has a primered spot on it), or whose dad actually "works" for a living with sweat & muscles rather than in some office behind a desk.

These people group everyone together that they deem "beneath them". And- yes, it's always people with lots of dough. Not ALL wealthy people are this way, but any who are this way.... are wealthy.  They don't take the time to look and see.... maybe a woman who:: DOES take good care of her kids, and keeps them clean (albeit in ripped/patched clothes)... and teaches them good manners... and takes them to church on sunday...and doesn't smoke or drink... They just lump them all as "white trash"...... because they don't have much money.

Now I'm gonna drop the subject, I'm just giving an opinion here.

It is this way, always has been and always will be. To the wealthy (though again, NOT in all cases) - money & social standing are everything. To the poorer classes- Other things are important, like family, and values, and the golden rule.

And granted, there are ALOT of people out there who FIT the term your describing as "white trash".... too many. Your description was a good one. It's just too bad, that good people- just because of lack of riches- get grouped with them sometimes.

And, for the record, NO.... I've never been called white trash. Redneck, yes- Hillbilly, plenty of times. So, I am not saying this out of self defense. I just have- alot more human compassion than most people..... and I try to see through the clothes on someone's back. (or the lack of)

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥