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Ah,  This reminds me.  We must beg CCindy to tell us the story of her friend who had an interesting "internet dating" experience !   CCindy, pretty please ?

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Do you have any vintage tube amps, or receivers ?   Any Hammarlund, Hallicrafters, or Japan Radio receiving equipment ?   Do you have any older general coverage police scanners ?

If so, well slap my @$$ and call me Sally !

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Better yet.  Would you accept PayPal, and just pack those well and mail them UPS ?


Thanks

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

i know lots of folks who've been internate dating, a few have even gotten married and seem to be doing fine.  matter of fact the guitarist in my band, john,  sort of met his wife online.  his friend was dating a gril from china and she had a sister.  john and the sister st arted emailing back and forth, and they got married last month.   the way i see it, if you broaden the scope of your search for love, aren't you increasing your chances of finding it?  hope it works out well for you!

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All work and no play make Homer something something

Check out the Russian Mail order bride service.    :shock:

http://www.russianladies.com/rl_searchc ... 918&vref=1

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

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[shadow=tomato]If you want your significant other to pay attention to EVERY word you say::
  TALK IN YOUR SLEEP   [/shadow]  

Wow!  Keith is wasting his time on Yahoo.  Go here!  LOL

OMG...Cindy....That is horrible!!!!  I hope your friend is okay now.  I never realized that it was possible to start having feelings over the computer until this past year.  I have to admit that it totally took me off guard and I was not prepared for it at all.  Since then I have become more careful and try to remember the reality of all this and that the person I'm talking to may not be the person that I have dreamed up in my mind.  I agree with you 100%....when these feelings start it's time to meet face to face because heartbreak on here can be just as devastating as if they were standing in front of you.

I'm so happy that your story had a happy ending though.  It's always nice to hear the success stories.   And I really pray that your friend is okay and it didn't cause him to lose faith in people.   Not everyone on here is like that.

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Hi Rita...

Yea... he managed to come out of all of it and stil be a really decent person.  The IRONY of this ... and its sooo sad... is that about a year after all of this happened.. he met someone from the town next to his.  They started dating.. and he was really happy ... it was so good to see ... and she seemed very sweet.  However, as luck would have it.. she begins to feel rather sickly ... sees a doctor... and finds out she has ovarian cancer... I KID YOU NOT.  She's been in chemo off and on for nearly a year now ... and he says he really doesn't think she's gonna make it.  I mean.. this guy has already (at least in his heart) lost some to cancer.... and now... and this is REAL (he is soo supportive to her.. sees her every day, gets her out and doing things when she has the energy) ... NOW ... he is likely to lose her.  Its just so damned tragic ... I am really worried about him... but he keeps telling me that being able to be with her... helpful ... has made all the difference in how he feels he'll handle losing her.. when the time comes.  And I have to say.. he really is one HECK of a good guy.... just obviously has HORRIBLE luck.  

Its nice to hear that you are finding some new friends online Rita.. and I'm glad to hear that you are taking it slow and carefully.  I have several friends that tell me that  they've fallen in love "online" .... I know many who do feel it can happen.  I have no experience in this... anyone I've ever cared for .. I've met face to face... but I hear from a lot that feelings do develop... sight unseen.  Just keep being careful!!

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[shadow=tomato]If you want your significant other to pay attention to EVERY word you say::
  TALK IN YOUR SLEEP   [/shadow]  

Gosh....that makes my problems seem so small.  He sounds like a terrific guy.  But at least this time he is in a real situation even though it's terribly sad.  To go through that and find out you have been hoaxed like that has got to be devastating.  I know I would be.    

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NO CCindy,  This was an AMAZING story MUCH MUCH more wild than that as I recall it.... It was plain WEIRD...  Here's how I recall it, and I will not use any actual names as I recall them, because there was a period of investigation we did.... WELL OK,  you folks did... Naturally me being the busy body old yenta that I am,  I had to stick my nose in !   Yet that's just between the two of us !  No need to divulge that to everyone of course !
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Names changed:  But basically this is how I recall things being...It was about a year ago that you told me this story in fact... Naturally I became obsessed.. I still am sort've...


CCindy's male friend met a woman on line. For the sake of this story let's say.... Adam meets Beth online.  They speak for a few months, quite frequently in fact and get pretty close on the phone, in fact they decide to meet after about 3 months... Adam meets Beth for a weekend.. He likes her as a person, yet when they meet, Adam feels "I really think she's a nice girl, but unfortuneately there wasn't chemistry",  I just didn't feel any fireworks the times we spent together.. They continued to speak for a few more months but it was dwindling. He just didn't feel "chemistry with her"....no "fireworks"...Yet they spoke on ocassion still, yet it was dying.....

About a month later Adam meets a music teacher that lives someplace in the midwest. He meets her as well online... They start to speak every night. Marilyn, the new girl seems to be what he was hoping Beth would be, Marilyn has a British accent and they speak for about 6 months  EVERY day getting very very close talking about marriage and planning a life together on the phone.. They get so close that Adam even introduces Marilyn to his good friend CCindy, and they exchange recipes online, and type a few exchanges back and forth. She seems like a decent person... Marilyn even tells CCindy how much she really feels for CCindy's friend Adam,  and how deeply she feels for him, and has never felt anything like this before for a man..... about 6 months into the relationship Marilyn mentions to Adam, that the doctor found a few strange masses in her breast area... Adam wants to meet Marilyn very badly, but Marilyn says  "I couldn't start a loving relationship feeling that it might be out've sympathy,  this isn't a healthy start for a relationship, I don't want to meet you knowing I might be terminally ill", in fact she won't even give Adam her address and phone number now because she states,  "knowing you, if you found out I was dying, you'd come to me, and I can't have you meet me this way".... They continue to talk, She isn't feeling so well....but still calls Adam every day from a relatives home... Marilyn needs support now, and is being assisted at the residence of family now... She's becoming more frail. Continues to call him frequently from her cell phone... About a year into the relationship, CCindy get's a telephone call from a male who sounds very upset. Marilyns brother is on the phone pleading with CCindy to give adam a message.. Because he can't get thru to Adams answering machine..... "Marilyn died yesterday".... Please give him this message for me, I can't reach him....

Needless to say, Adam is devastated, he falls apart... Can hardly function...Ocassionally Adam speaks to Beth on the phone, but there's nothing there.. His love is for Marilyn and he's mourning profusely....

A few weeks down the road,  CCindy receives a VERY bizarre Email that throws a REAL wrench in this whole thing. In fact it's anonymous but they do trace the IP to a location that is even in a different state all together..


"Cindy, I'll leave it up to you as to whether you want to tell Adam the truth or not, whether you feel he's capable of dealing with what I'm about to tell you is really up to you to determine,  but someone deserves to know the truth. There never was a Marilyn,  Marilyn is Beth,  Your friend Adam has been played".


Adam does speak with Beth a few times afterwards, yet the phone conversations are accusatory, Beth denies knowing what Adam is even talking about, or ever knowing a "Marilyn"... She claims she hasn't a clue who that was, and insists she is not Marilyn....

Yet there are a few outstanding questions....

Marilyns first, last name can't be located... Noone in the city she lived knew of a music teacher named Marilyn....In fact, there is NOONE by Marilyns first or last name existing her generation in the birth records or death records. No licenses to her name, no such person...


Absolutely livid Adam ponders even pressing some sort've charges, he's emotionally destroyed by this... Yet there is nothing he can do....

Marilyn just fell off the face of the earth one day..... He fell in love with someone that never existed... or was this Beth trying to hang on to him any way he can realizing they could never meet, because of course... That would divulge Marilyn was in fact a fantasy Beth created.... Or was Marilyn a different person all together who did die and was being truthful to Adam... If so, that's what I personally find so tragic.. This is how he has to recall things.. assuming Marilyn was real and loved him.. THis is an emotional roller-coaster thru hell... OR, did someone different all-together that knew Adam was suffering figure perhaps turning Adams pain into anger would quel some of the intensity of his suffering ?


This was a WILD story !!!!   I wrote a tragic monologue on it  :(   It would make a fantastic play unfortuneately IMHO



CCindy,  If I divulged more than you wished for me to divulge in here,  please let me know, and by time I see your message...I'll have deleted this, and not that many will likely have read this,  that don't already know....from a different source... Well perhaps a few more,  yet I didn't mean to divulge too much, yet to get the poignancy of what really happened, you have to let people know about this girls possible two identities..... I don't believe you did that in your initial summary... I started wondering if perhaps Beth even had MPD,  was hanging tragically with a pseudo identity British accent and all... because she couldn't let Adam go... or whatever.... THis was bizarre.. I even brought this case up to several mental health workers....... A few MSW's,  and a psychiatrist.   There might never be resolution to this...


The reason this had so much impact on me,  is that EVEN though "Adam" (made up name here because I won't be the one to divulge someones anonymity) seemed naive in

1-  Never getting Marilyns address or phone number... The times he called her I suppose she was at a pay phone...

2-  Not differentiating phone voices between Beth and Marilyn if in fact they were the same women....

Regardless of a mistake Adam might've made in letting his heart go to someone who wasn't Legit... or maybe was ????      
The pain here CAN be experienced vicariously.... This can happen to lonely people on the internet....

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

OMG.......  This really makes you stop and think.  My heart just goes out to
"Adam".   If this was truely a hoax the person that did that is really sick.  But on the other hand if she was real.......it's still tragic.

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No Steve, its fine.. you can leave the story here.  It IS bizarre .. to say the least.... and I STILL am not sure how I should think... nor do I think does "ADAM".  He never talks about it... he has truly moved on (tho, if you read my post about his recent situation, you'll see he's going thru something similar for REAL, now).  I do know he was EXTREMELY frustrated that no trace of this person/these people .... even turned up ..... 'cause to tell ya the truth ... IF Marilyn WAS real... he'd of done ANYTHING to find her ...  if she HADN'T died.  But... all investigation turned up empty .. and he decided to "bury" her ... and move on.  

Yes, I did speak to "MARILYN" on the phone ... she sounded VERY british and VERY legit.  And yes.. I had her screen name.. on AOL or Yahoo (cant remember now, to tell ya the truth which it was)  .... and we did chat quite a bit for awhile.  Yes, we did exchange some recipes and I guess that is how I ended up getting the phone call about her "death" and the email about it being a possible hoax.  (I didn't share the level of my involvement in my abbreviated post above ... simply to try to keep things short and sweet.. but yeah, I ended up the deliverer of both pieces of bad news. )

As I said... she really did SEEM very real ... in all ways.  The one thing ADAM was able to finally "believe" .. was that BETH wasn't Marilyn.  Once he got over the initial "suspicion" 'caused by all of the this ... he finally conceded that BETH was not trying to "dupe" him.  He and Beth actually still talk to one another.

Personally... I still don't know what I think ... nor do I ever think I will.  The fact that she can't/couldn't be traced ... CONFIRMS that this woman was using a name other than her own ... BUT... she could have been real... and in fact, did die.  She may have shared with a family member or a friend (or maybe a medical professional  :shock:) that she was forming this relationship under a false identity ... and when she did die ... someone felt her "online" friends should know... especially her "boyfriend" ... ADAM.  The reason I still "totter" on this ... is the fact that  the email I got telling me that all was a hoax... came from a place not even close to where she "supposedly" lived ... nor near ADAM.  Perhaps she relocated???  I just really don't know.

I've concluded it is one of two things...

1.  As I've stated above --> she was real using a phony name ... but had shared her "lie" with someone, who felt it only right to let ADAM know she'd died ....

OR

2.  For some reason ... there is something physically wrong with her .. that she feels she simply can't let others see (perhaps facial scars, confined to a wheelchair) .. SOMETHING... that she feels will never be acceptable to someone, if she were to actually MEET them.  So ... she assumed this false identity ... and fell in love with ADAM ... and then when things got soooo involved, she realized that DEATH was the only way she could get outta the relationship ... so she just "faked dying".  

Either way ... TRAGIC is putting it mildly for ADAM.  

Yeah ... you did write a screen play for this, didn't you?  It really IS a pretty cool movie premise.    You ought to consider sending that to someone, Steve.

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[shadow=tomato]If you want your significant other to pay attention to EVERY word you say::
  TALK IN YOUR SLEEP   [/shadow]  

hey i looked through that WHOLE site and didn't find ONE single steroid laden, 310 pound olympic shot putter!  what gives?!

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All work and no play make Homer something something

CCindy,  What I found to be of particular interest was that the general IP area of the Email you folks traced was around Ohio... In Ohio there was a resident with the same last name, and a different first name but the same middle initial as the actual woman who died used as her first name.  You did state the brother that called you seemed to have a :british type: accent too as I recall..


Even though an entirely different person could've sent the "Adam was played" by Beth Email,  especially if Adam was pouring feelings on the internet,  my question is who else knew the details ?    I'd have to see the actual email...exactly how it was phrased...I just find it strange that in ALL of the time Adam was talking with Marilyn, she never once slipped with the "British accent"... or contradicted herself... that's either REALLY skillful lying, multiple personality disorder, no lying at all, or Adam just isn't overly perceptive... Thing is many lonely people on the internet want to believe certain things as fact, that are not fact too..

What concerns me about internet activity is  added potential for deceit, and really vulnerable people easily getting "had" in such a setting....

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

If the Marilyn character was a hoax, why would somebody want to go to all the trouble involved over such a long period of time?  I mean this would be one dedicated, malicious hoaxster!

Don,  How about if Beth realized Adam wasn't attracted to her and Beth realized Adam wasn't being totally open with her, hence created Marilyn to "fish" find out info about his feelings, what's going on in his life, find out thru this alias that Adam doesn't like her, yet in her tangled web scenerio begins to feel cheated on..

As a result Marilyn aka Beth is devastated, Feels betrayed... But rather than let it die, Beth uses her Marilyn character to persue her infatuation with Adam,  even still have phonesex or cyber (assuming this existed in the relationship...*no comment*)  Beth is both extremely hurt and feels betrayed, yet realized this is the only way she can hang onto someone she's infatuated with... or actually loves, yet there's no reciprocity. Yes, it's pretty sick, and crafty...we know this...

Beth/Marilyn also realizes Adam's done nothing wrong in not feeling chemistry with Beth, it's noones FAULT these things happen when two meet...and there's no actual grounds to really dislike him based on that, and outside of ego hurt, can't dislike him for not being attracted to her "like that"...Yet she isn't willing or can not let him go...She's obsessed with him, there's gain in keeping him around..despite the lie... It starts as fishing, or a test...yet progresses.... As a result she creates an alias with limited capabilities for the relationship to come to fruition, It obviously CAN'T... Marilyn is also someone Beth can kill off at any time on her terms.   Or perhaps doesn't plan on killing off the game initially, but either meets someone else, and resents herself down the road for being out've control and this attached to someone who there was no future with, and him because she projects him as cause for her contrived efforts... Beth is someone who has become "addicted to a person"..

Might even have multiple personality disorder... Another explanation for never slipping.. Maybe Marilyn did die...but not of Cancer....


I wrote a script that starts like this:




Now keep in mind, CCindy and her friend disagree with my presentation of this... "Adam" I believe did get a copy of my whole play.. (which I won't share here).. CCindy says I make what happened look tragic yet slanting towards sympathy for Beth/Marilyn because of her illness, making Adam look somewhat callous....in fact, Adam did find Beth somewhat attractive, there was just no chemistry when they met, it was noones fault....

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

<psssst !   Kappy writes "chick flick" scripts>   HEHEHEHEHEHEHE

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Well, I can go along with a lot of these theories.  But Adam didn't decide that there was no chemistry between he and Beth until they met in person, face to face.
How can Adam be so positive that he has this strong chemistry with Marilyn if they've never met face to face?  Also, I don't think the multiple personality theory would work here.  A person with this disorder can't control the timing of the appearances of the different characters.  I mean odds are that the Beth character would have popped up in the middle of one of the Marilyn-Adam conversations.

But the idea that Beth became this Marilyn character on purpose, in order to be everything she thought Adam would want, seems possible.  Maybe at one point she had planned on revealing to Adam that she was indeed Marilyn --- to show him that she could be "like that" too.  Then she realized how phoney the whole deal was and just bagged the idea -- "killing off" the Marilyn character?

Adam is pretty sure that BETH wasn't involved.  I sorta am too .... but I still have this nagging suspicion in the back of my head... only because of the email that said that Marilyn was Beth.  If they were truly TWO different people... that didn't know one another ... how then did whoever sent that email even know of BETH?  

I talked to Adam about my "lingering suspicion" ... but he feels that the email was probably the idea of someone that probably knew OF both women.  To explain why it came from OHIO, a place he knows no one from, he thinks that maybe a friend of his ... who might have a friend in OHIO ... was asked to write the email .. as a favor of sorts...for the reason you also suggested ... to try to snap him out of the depression by evoking anger.  

I can tell you that Adam has totally moved on ... and that he still talks to BETH .. who he really enjoys as a friend and is pretty convinced that she isn't capable (smart enough) to have pulled off a hoax of that nature.  

Thats why I drew the two conclusions I drew.  

I think your scenerio sounds more likely .... BETH/MARILYN one in the same.... with BETH in control of Marilyn's eventual demise.  However, WHY have the woman die??? Why not just have her break things off with ADAM??  I mean if BETH was Marilyn... she must have been really hurt and vicious ... to make Adam go thru the death of someone he loved, right? I can't imagine simply having someone say, "I very much like you, but I simply don't feel the "romantic" elements" ...setting ya off to concoct such a hoax... can you?

And...... Adam says Beth really is a nice person, has had the same job for years (not sure what the job is), and he doesn't feel she is capable of thinking up something like that ... OR ... carrying it off for so long.  I mean.. this Marilyn... had family... with names, a dog, etc.  Beth is divorced, no kids, and has never lived with anyone but the ex husband.  Adam says he always heard voices in the background when he'd talk to Marilyn.  

Ohhhh well..... I guess we'll just never really know.  I am content with MY theories... I feel they make pretty good sense... considering Adam's feelings about things.  

But......I DO think you should consider sending that script to someone, Steve.  Regardless of the "slant" ... its an intriguing story.  If people feel for BETH .... hey, I guess the saying "a woman scorned" comes to mind.  But... to me... no matter HOW it was presented... in my opinion.. ADAM was the victim.  Not finding someone attractive or not feeling sparks.. is NO REASON.. to do what you are proposing BETH did.  The man was nearly destroyed.  

Geeeeeesh... I'd stopped thinking about this, Steve.  NOW... its messing with my brain again.  LOL

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[shadow=tomato]If you want your significant other to pay attention to EVERY word you say::
  TALK IN YOUR SLEEP   [/shadow]