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Well the latest update is it has been a week and she still hasn't spoken to me at all. I've given her her space but it is driving me absolutely mad.

The only consolation so far is that her sister called me on Friday afternoon and told me that everything was going to be cool if I just "gave her time to get over it."

On Sunday morning I wrote "I miss you" on a 3x5 card, attached a few little orange flowers to it, and left it on her door. I just wanted to get a peace offering out there in case she thought I was upset. I had it in my head that she would respond positively to this, but so far still nothing.

I'm about 75% sure that this is not going to end the way I want it to, and I think I am finally at peace with that. I still do want to hear what she has to say and basically have two things prepared to say depending on which way it goes. Last week I was ready to beg for her back, now I've kinda switched into "take care of me" mode.

Knowing her like I do, I know that immediately after this whole thing happened that she already had a game plan on what she was going to do, and set a date to when she was going to speak to me again, and she won't budge from that date. I just don't know when that is...

So now I am wondering at what time I just give up on this altogether and tell her its been too much for me to handle, which so far every day seems like too much. I kinda have it in my head now that if there is still nothing by Friday that I quit.

Opinions?

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C Mc
KJ, FL

I could never go that long being mad at a boyfriend. It just seems wierd to me.
Do you want to stay with someone that treats you that way?
Someone who will stop talking to you for a week because they are mad.
How many times has she done this before?

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She's never done this before....

But I do know that no matter how mad I have gotten at her, I have always wanted to calmly talk about it and get through it as soon as possible, so she didn't learn this from me either....

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C Mc
KJ, FL

You said the sister said she'll come around. Can you trust that to be true?

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I don't know....on one hand I think if she were intending on breaking it off with me she would have done it by now. On the other hand, I then wonder why she hasn't reached out to me yet if she intends on working this out....

Being absolutely helpless and having no idea what she is thinking/feeling right now makes it really hard to know how to proceed.

The two options I've thought about right now are:

1) Ask her sister what she thinks I should do. I hate to get other peeps in the middle of my problems like that, but her sister does live with her and they are close, so I'm positive she could answer this question.

2) Just e-mail my GF and tell her that if she needs more space I'm willing to give it to her but I need to know at least a little bit about her intentions

So far I haven't done anything, though...

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C Mc
KJ, FL

I would ask her sister out...And never mention the other sister the whole night...Take her out for a really great time, then send her a little thank you note.

....the sister is a little too young for me and I'm not into the games (even though I may be getting played as we speak to tell you the truth).

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C Mc
KJ, FL

Seriously man....I'd just move on.

In every break up, there is the leaver and the left....The leaver has the advantage cause they are ahead of the left in that usually they have already made up their mind to leave....That leaves the one who got dumped in shock and with lots of questions to deal with.

It's really best to back off completely and let her have all the space she wants...Believe me, you will understand when it's you who wants to break one off.

The more you hound-dog around, the more you will appear unattractive to her....It's also a fact of modern life that you can be charged with stalking for the most innocent and harmless actions.

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Live Fast, Run Hard and Enjoy Life, you're only here for a short time. Respect you're neighbor and Hope they respect you, if they don't, they're not worth your time. Keep a song in your heart and a smile on your face. Peace and Love to you all!

Yep, never mention the last squeeze to the new one....Don't get started pouring out the past or the next thing you know, you will be reliving it with her....

Chime in here girls!...Do you agree it's best for a guy do the above?

Oh, I'm just gonna stay shut up.

You really don't want my relationship opinions.....atleast not this morning.  :no:



Topher, I just with ya luck....... and hopefully she wont snap your heart in half. But, you know, just remember the most important thing is YOURSELF...... don't let her turn you into a weeping, heartbroken puddle of mush...... keep your head high. Being "too" prideful can be a bad thing but at times like this- it can keep you from looking the fool.

Okay, so I'm stating my opinion anyhow. Yeah, right now I'm inclined to say-  go find you another.

Now I'm gonna stay the heck out of here. Good luck to ya, hope you atleast get SOME kind of resolution to your situation.  :wave:

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

Topher, you can ONLY be true to yourself. Trying to guess someone else's intentions will forever drive you mad.

If what she's doing is bothering you, my suggestion is to confront her. Tell her that you need to speak with her about whatever the problem is... if she won't, then tell her that you're moving on. You can't have a relationship with someone that shuts themselves off.

Couples will argue, and undeniably, some folks just don't understand what triggers the other off. That's what conversation is for. You tell them "Look, I have NO idea why you're ticked... but we need to talk it through!"

Folks that don't talk stuff through usually have other issues. What always gets me is the response of "you should KNOW what's bothering me!!! If you DON'T, then you never knew me at ALL!!" (yes, I've dated drama queens!)

Look, unless you're really telepathic, you might be good at getting SOME things right. You might be insync with your signifigant other, but eventually, there's going to come a huge, brick wall that you're going to slam into. It happens to EVERY couple at SOME time in their relationship. And it's probably a shock to BOTH parties!!

ultimately, it's up to you. You know you can't live with this like this, yet from your own statement, her sister is aware of the other's moods, and thinks that this is merely one of them. If this gal is the right one for you, then learn to live with it. Compromise is the very heart of every relationship... some have a lot of work, some have very little.

But you DO need to get this worked out!

Why did the sister call ?   Was she returning your call ?  What was the purpose of her call, and did she bring the issue up or did you ?   Yet still




You need to chill abit.. This is YOUR issue, and YOU must deal with it.. That's why I wondered if this is infatuation, and you are in fact too needy.  Take this time to ground YOU, you've lost too much of yourself in a woman that DOES NOT want to commit to you now... "Give her time to get over it",  to me means,  SHE DOES not want to hear from you now..  If you succumb to the compulsion too move in out've your own need,  She was correct, IN HER EYES YOU WERE too needy, or dependent on her and she doesn't want that... Try not to lose yourself to the extent infatuation makes her appear more magnificent than YOUR OWN NEEDS..

1)  She's another person with her own angels and demons, NOTHING more
2)  She's told you back off,  there's little doubt that's what she wants now
3)  How about YOU ?  Is she someone you want to feel obsequious to ?  Always be at
    the receiving end of the relationship.  Do you want to give another person THAT
    much control over you ?   and discount your own needs ?

4)  exercize, jog, play basketball, swim, do what you need to take care of the
    anxiety you are now feeling,  that get's the endorphan's going, and clears your
    head.. She's stated what she wants.  YOU are a part of the relationship too, it's
    easy to forget that,  Perhaps you should be angry, but not NEEDY...

    You admitted incidently you are VERY dependent and needy on her when you
    said..
    this is very unhealthy chris because she's stated that's a problem she feels you
    have and wants distance from that aspect of you..

Food for thought....

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

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She wrote me this afternoon and told me she misses me and wants to meet....I'll let yall know what happens

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C Mc
KJ, FL

That sounds excellent.  Time to talk  

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

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Well, be ready and be especially alert/listening for some new rules....Make sure to allow her to do all the talking, and make sure you LISTEN to what she is saying....Then take care with your answers...Try to remain calm and not allow youself to be too pushy...She knows already that you want her....So let her tell you what she wants.

Edit:   Let her tell you HOW she needs you to WANT her.

Wow!  I smiled out loud when I read this from you!  This is a little different slant than some of your other posts re: women.  I really didn't expect this reply; although some of the other posts make me smile out loud too!  :hi5:

Susie

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