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Steven Kaplan
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 Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2006 5:38 am |
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Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2005 6:48 pm
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Quote: True story......In a local small bar the gal tending bar during karaoke was having boy friend problems.. She said I need a spell.. So I went out and got a rock told her to hold out her hand.. I gently placed the rock in her palm and spouted some magicians phrases... It seemed to be working because she was getting along better with her boy friend.. A few weeks later a walked into the bar Very serious like she screamed at me..
Ollie your fu***G rock got me pregnant!!!! Everybody was rollin on the floor...
Later that night I was sitting with some out of town gals... She walked up and said if this sob tries to give you a f***g rock shove it down his throat...I was splitting a gut They didnt have a clue what was going on but sometimes you can score with a little rock
Page 2: A few months later when we were singing and rocking her yet to be born baby would kick like crazy....Sometimes she would hunch over in pain... After he was born her mother came into the v with the new one.. I started singing he got the strangest look in his eyes and looked at me and smiled.. When he was 4 years old he would go up and want to sing with the band Of course they would let him ... I havnt seen him for 2 or 3 years but I'll tell you what that kid is going to rock... DeWd, iS that tHe reAl hIstOry of rOck ? I ThInk IT's CoOl thAt In the 60's fer A Spell u CouLd tell a chiCk at a Bar T0 just "HolD out Her hand" LIke that when U got a rock and She coUld get PregNant whEn you staRT spouting OFf...bUt it's goOd that that "FRee LoVE" stuff at the KaraOke bAR IN those days HelPEd others witH reLatIONship PRobLems..WhAt's haRD to BeLEIve is That uR son "The KInG" knew you were His FaTHer WhEn he was onLY 4 AND eveN had tHAt lOok in his eyes and starteD siNging that Young.. He's Still around Tho, But has Been SpoTTed more often in the last 2 or 3 years.... In the EAst coAst.. PS... I LiKED youR actIng as TeXas Rancher BicK BeNedict in that OLD movie "Giant". Also in "A FairweLL to Arms"...YOU and DoriS day were pretty Good together.. I eveN watched Dynasty a FEw times... I remember this stuff, BeCause I used TO sit aT the next Bar-stOol... We aLwAys Did get the "hot chicks" at thAT karAoke Bar.. I've got the Photo HerE to Prove it.. PSS.. It's CoOl how a Pick up line such as "Hold Out your hand" that night, got YoU the NickName "Rock Hudson"... Your Buddy, Beavis....  Quote: What the Hell is an 8"tongue "nad"? I bet some girls might be impressed by THAT!
 Up here in New England we call those "Skin tags", and burn them off with soldering irons...but If I was lucky enough to have anything near 8 inches hanging in that general area, I'd burn off the small thing instead and leave the "Tongue nad", but I won't hold my breath !
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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".
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milo
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Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2006 5:58 am |
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Quote: Heh, heh.....I like the way you hold your boyfriend up like a shield....As if you really think he is going to protect you from yourself....It's just a paper shield...The question is who will tear thru it first, you or me?
 oh brother....don't start that crap with me....as it stands now i have to skip over most of your numerous posts to keep myself from throwing up....it would be nice if you could somehow mark the posts where you really sound like you're a half-way decent guy....those i enjoy reading...
now quit stalling and go sub a song......whichhhh i asked you to sing...NOT sing to me....
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Guest
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Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2006 7:26 am |
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Milo @ Mon Feb 27, 2006 7:58 am wrote: Quote: Heh, heh.....I like the way you hold your boyfriend up like a shield....As if you really think he is going to protect you from yourself....It's just a paper shield...The question is who will tear thru it first, you or me?
oh brother....don't start that crap with me....as it stands now i have to skip over most of your numerous posts to keep myself from throwing up....it would be nice if you could somehow mark the posts where you really sound like you're a half-way decent guy....those i enjoy reading... now quit stalling and go sub a song......whichhhh i asked you to sing...NOT sing to me.... You are supposed to laff, not puke
It's all in fun, Milo  go wipe your face...I'll be good.
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Isis
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 8:23 am |
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Joined: Mon Jan 16, 2006 11:11 am
Posts: 2641
Location: Seattle, WA
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My pick up line is this: A cute guy is leaving I stop him ans ask "are you leaving" Then I tell him ok if you must but" Be good and if you can't be good call me"
It's pretty effective gets them to think twice about leaving and ussually starts up a pretty good conversation.
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Will sing or fish for food!!I'm not quite right!!
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Guest
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 8:25 am |
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Isis @ Tue Feb 28, 2006 10:23 am wrote: My pick up line is this: A cute guy is leaving I stop him ans ask "are you leaving" Then I tell him ok if you must but" Be good and if you can't be good call me"
It's pretty effective gets them to think twice about leaving and ussually starts up a pretty good conversation. That's Cute!...I love it!
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Isis
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 8:28 am |
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Location: Seattle, WA
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It works with the ladies too. Makes em stop and think...I actually stole it from a guy..
I was beginning to this I was here alone today...Glad you are here!!
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Will sing or fish for food!!I'm not quite right!!
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Guest
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 8:37 am |
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Isis @ Tue Feb 28, 2006 10:28 am wrote: It works with the ladies too. Makes em stop and think...I actually stole it from a guy..
I was beginning to this I was here alone today...Glad you are here!! I'll make sure not to use in on the guys! You gals can say things like that to each other and be all the more popular, but us guys, especially us cowboys(due to Brokeback Mountian), need to be careful
Yep, I'm here....Probably be here till time to go to work this afternoon...I'm waiting on the Fedex guy to drop kick my FX unit....I hope the box still has corners on it this time.....I almost punched the UPS guy last time he tossed a box on my doorstep and then ran to the truck..it had broken glass dripping out of it...I caught him and threw it back to him, then ranted at his supervisor on the phone and told him UPS was banned from my property....gotta watch my temper. 
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Steven Kaplan
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 10:31 am |
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Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2005 6:48 pm
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Quote: Yep, I'm here....Probably be here till time to go to work this afternoon...I'm waiting on the Fedex guy to drop kick my FX unit.
They really can be amazingly stupid. Sometimes I think those employee's are just too damn protected by their union.. Really made me sick a couple of times when the guy came to the door, on the box on ALL sides it's marked "Fragile" "Handle with care". The friggin idiot is literally less than two feet in front of me..
"Here you go steve", (and he just drops the box onto the cement landing from above waist height). THey get into the habit of dropping boxes rather than placing them on the ground when people aren't around.. In time it just doesn't phase them to make a routine out've this... Really is rude ! UPS more-so than Federal Express
You'd think they believe every box says "Kick me, I'm a football"
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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".
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Isis
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 10:34 am |
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Location: Seattle, WA
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Keith I saw this today and thought of Robbie...Hope he's ok!!!
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Will sing or fish for food!!I'm not quite right!!
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Guest
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 10:39 am |
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Steven Kaplan @ Tue Feb 28, 2006 12:31 pm wrote: Quote: Yep, I'm here....Probably be here till time to go to work this afternoon...I'm waiting on the Fedex guy to drop kick my FX unit. They really can be amazingly stupid. Sometimes I think those employee's are just too protected by their union.. Really made me sick a couple of times when the guy came to the door, on the box on ALL sides it's marked "Fragile" "Handle with care". The friggin idiot is literally less than two feet in front of me.. "Here you go steve", (and he just drops the box onto the cement landing from above waist height). THey get into the habit of dropping boxes rather than placing them on the ground when people aren't around.. In time it just doesn't phase them to make a routine out've this... Really is rude ! UPS more-so than Federal Express You'd think they believe every box says "Kick me, I'm a football" Yep....Man, I missed my opportunity just now....The Fedex driver was a really cute gal....If I had known, I would have placed a 20 dollar bill on the doorstep just to watch her bend over....Maybe then she would have gently placed my package down to reach for the bill....As it turned out, I heard the truck and saw a shadow approach the door and was standing there with my arms out to catch it.
Hey Steven, you got my shipping addy...Would you mind shipping me an empty box via Fedex?...I wanna see her bend over....In fact, I'm thinking if I scatter several 20's around, she will really put on a show!
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Isis
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 10:43 am |
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Joined: Mon Jan 16, 2006 11:11 am
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Location: Seattle, WA
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Steven Kaplan @ Tue Feb 28, 2006 12:31 pm wrote: Quote: You'd think they believe every box says "Kick me, I'm a football" I've heard UPS and fedex are code for this and every driver is trained as such before they can even deliver their first package...
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Will sing or fish for food!!I'm not quite right!!
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Guest
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 10:52 am |
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Isis @ Tue Feb 28, 2006 12:34 pm wrote: Keith I saw this today and thought of Robbie...Hope he's ok!!! My only question is, "I wonder if his date survived?"
Poor horse!
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Steven Kaplan
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 10:55 am |
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Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2005 6:48 pm
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OK. and when you get it, have me issue you a return call tag on the defective empty box, and I'll remail it; We can just do this for a few years...
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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".
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Isis
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 10:56 am |
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Location: Seattle, WA
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Steven Kaplan @ Tue Feb 28, 2006 12:55 pm wrote: LMAO
OK. and when you get it, have me issue you a return call tag on the defective empty box, and I'll remail it; We can just do this for a few years...
make sure you have Keith take pics so that you can get some benefit to the delivery too!!!
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Will sing or fish for food!!I'm not quite right!!
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Steven Kaplan
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 10:58 am |
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Did that accident involving the horse actually happen ? or is that just a BS photo ?
That's a horrible thing if it's real..
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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".
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Isis
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 11:04 am |
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Steven Kaplan @ Tue Feb 28, 2006 12:58 pm wrote: Did that accident involving the horse actually happen ? or is that just a BS photo ? That's a horrible thing if it's real.. I am assuming it's a BS photo. One of those that came to me in e-mail one day....I just can't imagine something like that happening in , what looks like to be a fairly metro area. And the lines seems to be a little too clean...The top of the car would have way more damage that it does....DOn't you think???
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Will sing or fish for food!!I'm not quite right!!
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Steven Kaplan
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 11:07 am |
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I don't want to make assumptions, weird things happen in Central Park NY...
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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".
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Isis
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 11:12 am |
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Central Park is it's own weirdness...But I am going to err on the side of, if this really happend everyone is okay, including the horse and if it didn't happen then they did a pretty good job on the pic....
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Will sing or fish for food!!I'm not quite right!!
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Steven Kaplan
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 11:12 am |
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only thing is, besides as you say the very clean aspects of this, are the fact that the border of the horses body, and the glass are too perfect. and there's no bleeding or abrasion... on the animals body, everything is too neat.
Yet what makes me think it possibly is real, even if a carcass was put in a windshield for a movie scene (hollywood scene), look at the car ? Is that a US car ?
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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".
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Steven Kaplan
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 11:15 am |
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That's probably a scene from a movie.... look at the lighting in the background and the fan..... probably the last episode of "Mr. ED"
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