Karaoke Forums

I've never ridiculed you, or condescended on you. The emoticom has nothing to do with you or your situation. If you wished to PM me, you always had my private ear. I've been completely down to earth with you, extremely honest, there've been no innuendo's. I came out and said exactly what I felt. Sorry that offends you.

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

all i'm going to say here is that i've known steven very well for a long time and i have never seen him ridicule anyone knowingly....i can't see where he's done that to you either....you put this in a public forum so why are you getting angry because he didn't offer his 'private ear'?


EDIT:  hope you didn't mind me jumping in steven, i usually stay out of these things, but i felt as a friend i wanted to defend you...

Hit the brakes, trucker!

I admit I ain't read most of what Steven replied cause I just ain't into all night novels or the soap opera of your rollercoaster love life, but are you sure he insulted you?...That doesn't sound like Steven.

Steven, did you?

PCornell, it took me awhile to get used to Steven's sense of humor...He can get complicated sometimes...I'm meat n taters and he's sushi.

Besides all that, it's never safe to pour heart out on a public forum....been there, done that.

Of course not,  EVERYTHING I stated can be read.  Nothing has been modified. My intent was to NOT exclude the feelings of Perry's wife in this relationship, but to try to understand the overall picture here and try to remain IMPARTIAL.. It's about both of them,  not just Perry. It's their marriage. I responded to this as it was presented, publicly.

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

As in other forums Jeanne,  when I see someone is suffering my intent is always to be helpful. I'm not a sadistic person that mocks other's hardships.  It's clear that there are TWO people in this relationship suffering.  I didn't feel his wifes feelings, or perspective were being fairly represented here,  but he did mention in the other thread she was suffering during a phone conversation they were having. I refuse to view this as a "Me against my wife" situation...It's not a light-hearted situation when a relationship such as a marriage dies IMHO... and it was my intent to respect THEIR marriage. Certainly not to help rip it apart by wrongfully taking one side.

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Okay, I keep getting deeper and deeper in the hole here.
If you go back and read the initial post, you'll notice that not even I was aware that she found this infamous phone number...I was talking about a totally different person altogether.
But then, I come back with this 2nd post that sounds like I failed to mention about the phone number when that really wasn't the case. I just worded the title of the post...Oh, I forgot to mention. My fault. If you notice my reply in this thread how I emphasized that I didn't know she found the phone number until a week or so later, then that should've clarified that I wasn't hiding anything initially. But your response to that was quoting another one of my statements from this 2nd post to avoid that you possibly flew off track when trying to help this situation.

But honestly, this mistrust issue has been ongoing for years

You two need to get some help with this.  It's obviously not getting any better.  
It's ashame because it defeats the relationship.

It just ticks me off that when I said I wasn't hiding anything initially, you still think I'm lying. But of course having a phone number in my carry-bag where I didn't think I was hiding it, and stated that fact, wasn't enough for anyone here to believe that I'm being honest about this whole thing?
And I've stated that things are getting better, and that I do love my wife isn't enough for Steven to stop trying to find fault in me?

Just go back and read this stuff. But frankly, I doubt that anyone will. I'm new here, it's not worth the trouble huh?
And it's always the same story. Other people that don't usually come around my posts are the first to defend someone else who's a long time member when they work themselves into a jam.
You know, I don't need this. Like I said, the damage has been done, and now that I've spoken my mind, what's the difference? I'm the a$$.

Oh, I get it...You're thinking she sneaks around and reads his forum stuff....And you're thinking if you take her side, she will fall into your arms when they split....Steven, you are so smooth.  LMAO  LMAO

Nah, you wouldn't  do that...I know without reading any of it you were sincere and was only tryin to be fair to the both of them.

obviously i do usually come around your posts, i just don't post when i don't have any input.....i didn't defend him because he's a long time member, i did it because he is my friend and i felt you were wrong.....i do sincerely hope you and your wife can work things out....i know firsthand how very hard it is to go through a marriage breakup after so many years....

Dude, you need to go fishing, or drinking, or to the stripper bar, or something...No, all the above!...Hell, go to town and get in a good fight. Man, you need to stop chasing yer tail or you are gonna end up with your head up your butt....

Women will do that to you if you let them.

Dump the broad.....Jesus, the world is overflowing with them!, It ain't like it's the end of the world, it's just a new day for you.

And you're thinking if you take her side, she will fall into your arms when they split

Keith... No, I doubt that Steven ever imagined that, but this is how most men think I guess.
Did I mention before that I don't have any friends for this reason? Yep. They all take my wife's side just because she's better lookin' than me.

Man, I can't believe what I've done here. This whole mess has me believing that I'm a terrible person and that my wife deserves so much better. And the only reason y'all are hearing my side is because she doesn't like the computer stuff at all. It was never my intention to make her sound so overbearing and unreasonable, but if the shoe fits? Isn't that what happens when couples agree to disagree? Everything gets all distorted and over-exaggerated? Especially when trying to explain to someone who you think is a friend or friends. Just what is the purpose of knowing both sides if you can trust the person who is telling the story?
I know this has no place here, so I guess I'll stop f'ing whining so everyone can return back to the regularly scheduled daily flirting and just general horseplay if that's what it's really like here. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
On a forum, there are bound to be disagreements like this occasionally. I'm not leaving, but I doubt that I have a place here now.

Stop dumping your personal problems on your friends and they will stop taking sides.

You ain't got no friends once you divorce anyway usually...You have to go out and make new ones....Single friends that you have stuff in common with...And don't expect to make many friends if you are hanging your head and still complaining about the ex...go find you someone else's ex and treat her better than he did...That's not hard to do usually.

Wadda ya mean you ain't got no place here now?...This is just a big Karaoke bar....Same as the ones you hang at....Same problems, just different faces....Same advice...Just that you gotta bring your own bottle.

As I stated in this thread,  I saw that your wife was suffering. You made it clear here that YOUR WIFE'S UNFOUNDED LACK OF TRUST was the issue, you mentioned that she has trust issues, and "all you wish for is to have innocent female friendships"...

That's what you stated Perry,  but you state OTHER things here as well... From the posts in this thread "She is driving you away", and you mention "Stirring the pot alittle", "a sweet spot in life"

From what you've typed so far IT APPEARS to you at least, that your wifes lack of trust is unfounded, SHE's unreasonable...as if to say, "I'm not a problem in this marriage", and you point the finger at her, it appears YOU detach yourself from being part of the problem in YOUR marriage to her, and here you dismiss what your wife might be feeling as having relevence, and what's more, is you mention this thread is "A type of test"... In a marriage with trust issues, BOTH are responsible to deal with the issue, or attempt to.

So it appears "She's the problem, and I deserve no part of this"

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Now in this thread something new pops up... At least it appears new, I didn't see mention of THE FOLLOWING in your "guy/girl friendship" thread, yet whether you knew it than or not doesn't matter, YOUR WIFE did THAT matters !


 
Regardless of when this happened, *IF I* were a partner in a mistrusting relationship, and you presented me with this story REGARDLESS of how I found a womans number on you, I'd be skeptical.... THIS is what I stated Perry.  It makes NO difference what Steven Kaplan believes...This is about you and your wife, and a troubled marriage, and NOW the story is starting to appear a little different, Something HAS been wrong with your relationship, you are fed up, you two are playing games..Yet up until this thread in YOUR eyes "SHE WAS THE CULPRIT",  that's how you presented this...So assuming your story is truthful, which I believe it is...THAT matters not....What matters is if I was involved in a tenuous relationship, where there was a pre-existing huge trust issue and I found a mans phone number on a "spouse" and she proceded to explain the following as an attempt to assure me it was an honest situation


or something comparable to this

You can be DAMN sure, especially assuming there were trust issues all along, this would be a legit emotional issue, and insult to injury....YOU did NOT present this in the first thread !..  You owned up to NO part of the problem of this trust issue...YOU are a part of it,  your wifes emotions are of NO less importance than your own in this marriage, and you DID NOT appear to take HER concerns into consideration.
So yes,  I maintain ALL I stated to you, and this....

I've never ridiculed you, or condescended on you. The emoticom has nothing to do with you or your situation. If you wished to PM me, you always had my private ear. I've been completely down to earth with you, extremely honest, there've been no innuendo's. I came out and said exactly what I felt. Sorry that offends you.

It's NOT the "karaoke thing" at all,  it's what  your relationship with her IS or ISN'T that's the problem Perry..  I doubt she cares about "The Karaoke thing".... there are underlying problems...




You two need to get some help with this.  It's obviously not getting any better.  
It's ashame because it defeats the relationship.


I have nothing more to add to this.

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Yet up until this thread in YOUR eyes "SHE WAS THE CULPRIT",  that's how you presented this...So assuming your story is truthful, which I believe it is...THAT matters not....What matters is if I found a mans phone number on a "spouse" and she said, he came onto me but I said I was married,  so I just took his phone number for a ride to..etc", some friday evening...etc..."

You can be gosh darn sure, especial assuming there were trust issues all along, this would be a legit emotional issue, and insult to injury....YOU did NOT present this in the first thread !..  You owned up to NO part of the problem of this trust issue...

Steven, you still refuse to recognize that what she was upset about, I didn't know about when I posted the first time. I thought she was spying on me here, but it turned out that it was the phone number thing all along...she just didn't reveal this to me until a week or so later. I posted the first time while she was upset, but I didn't know why she was upset. She was harboring this reason for being upset. How can I know what she's upset about unless she tells me? That's when I made the 2nd post...after she told me she found the number. Like I said, you refuse to give me the benefit of the doubt just like her because you want to believe that I've mislead people here all along. Geez, I admitted that the whole thing was my fault here, and that she has good reason for not trusting me. Can't you admit that you misinterpreted between the 2 posts? I'm sure your reputation here will still be well respected, as for mine, screw it, I lost that when I posted this crap. Good day.

BTW, I changed the title of the post so it's not so confusing if that will help.  :wave:

Man, who cares why she got upset...They do that...They eat, they breathe, they get upset.

When they get upset, you go fishing......Have yourself a good day..If she wants to have a bad day, then that's her choice.....Go fishing or whatever it takes for you to have a good day...Just shrug and say, "Hope you feel better, I'll see you later"...and afterwards, when you come home and if she's feeling better, then ain't nobody gotta say "I'm sorry"..If she still acts stupid, then go to the stripper bar.

More than 70 % of the beginning of the end of a relationship start due to the discovery of what is the the other spouse cellphone . So those of you who carry hand phone watch out.

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I can neither confirm nor deny ever having or knowing anything about nothing.... mrscott

Man, who cares why she got upset...They do that...They eat, they breathe, they get upset.

When they get upset, you go fishing......Have yourself a good day..If she wants to have a bad day, then that's her choice.....Go fishing or whatever it takes for you to have a good day...Just shrug and say, "Hope you feel better, I'll see you later"...and afterwards, when you come home and if she's feeling better, then ain't nobody gotta say "I'm sorry"..If she still acts stupid, then go to the stripper bar.

LMMFAO!!
I do care for her Keith, but I know what you mean. If they would just say what they mean, I wouldn't be making stupid posts on a public forum about how my married life is so f***ed up. Obviously, I did something that's not okay with most women, so I'm a bad boy. But now that she's brought this to my attention, things aren't quite the pi$$ing match it was before. Now it's me and Steven.  :(  I'm sorry man.  :(
I don't go to strip clubs anymore...it's been atleast 16 years since I've seen strange boobs.

NO !  You aren't reading what I posted.... The problem isn't what you knew, and when you found out about it, THAT IS MOOT. The problem is that something important DID happen in your relationship that YOUR side never presented !  Whether you were honest in NOT presenting this makes no difference. It's still a FACT that transpired within your relationship, something your wife was feeling that got no consideration regardless of why. The problem is that there WAS a REAL underlying problem never represented by your posts.  Your wife never got fair representation or consideration in that first thread, It really isn't fair to her.
In our reading thru YOUR eyes, WE DID NOT get the actual story according to BOTH partners in a suffering relationship !  and we still aren't.

THAT's why it's best to seek marriage counseling.  The way you are presenting this HAS NOT been fair to your wife,  hasn't presented the full story, therefore it's not factual.. It's biased.  I'd by lying to you to tell you otherwise.

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

More than 70 % of the beginning of the end of a relationship start due to the discovery of what is the the other spouse cellphone . So those of you who carry hand phone watch out

Oh, but I'm too calculated to let that happen. I'd use a pay phone to call the number that I left out in plain sight in my carry-bag.  :ideagrin:  :newlol:

So you did something that's not ok with most women...Good, that's a start!...Now go do more of it...You ain't been to a stripper bar in 16 years?...You are 16 years late, catch up.

It's time you stood on three legs.

The problem here is you started thinking I was attacking you. I wasn't,  I never did.
I'm trying to get you to realize that you two have to travel the path together, and not keep defending yourselves against one-another.  It doesn't matter what ANYONE here thinks !  If EVEN ONE partner in a marriage is sick, both partners need help.... Don't detach yourself from this problem,  You HAVE been doing that.

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".