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Shhhh..... Keith,  there are ladies present !   God forbid they see this side of you  LOL



I don't mean to make light of anything.  Gone because of a discussion that took place ?   Gone because she was angry about something ?   or possibly gone because she had someplace she had to be ?    Not sure...   You mentioned she was laying into you about something....  Not sure what, or if anything preceded her leaving early..

Anyway PM.... in case this is semi-private

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Hats off to Steven and Keith for having such a frank discussion.  Guys are human too and everything isn't always rosey by a long shot!  

Well Don,   In my case,  I was born an old lady.  Some of the toughest have said

"Kappy,  Your worse than a middle-aged widow going thru the change"


I can flip-out with the most neurotic of the old ladies !   and easily win honorable mention !

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

I suppose if I was concerned about my reputation tho,  I'd not be fessing up

OK,  need to run next door before 9.... People are getting tired of my mooching their midol... Time to bite the bullet...

To do list


Midol
Pickled Herron
Banana's
Ice Cream

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Well, to be perfectly frank my emotional state can be very fragile also.  I've had my share of depression, anxiety and panic attacks.  Not a good combination if you're trying to play bass on a stage in front of people.  I still haven't found a guaranteed way out of that dilemma.

Nah, no discussion, no disagreement, no soap opera....Just hit and run.

I'm stable, she ain't. She knows this is a safe place. She knows I'm a safe place....So I'm kinda like an air strip where she does her touch n go thang every now n then....She leaves before I wake up and cling maybe...she clings when i'm awake, then leaves before I cling back....Go figure?

FUnny thing Don,  I'm most "together" on-stage.  It's when I'm alone I have probs, alone with my head is deadly.. It's why I spend my free time typing, and cracking jokes....In reality, I MUST get out've my head whenever possible.... My phobia never really became a social phobia.  Yet Panic attacks while on the road touring, and an eventually full breakdown due to chonic self-medicating with "the juice", and street narcs almost ended my life...

That being said,  Need to run next door,  getting cravings  :yum:

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Steven, well the thing that happens is that if I'm not feeling 100% before playing, I get on stage, start focusing on how I'm feeling, then realize I'm stuck up here for the next 45 minutes. Then the mind starts playing tricks like you mentioned earlier.  The self-medicating routine used to help sometimes.  You're right, musicians are very prone to getting into some "nasty habits"  when playing a lot of gigs.

Yeah, thing is Keith.. If both of you are trying to have some intimacy, yet avoid closeness, while pretending not to get emotionally affected by what happens, it's ashame, because it appears to be a relationship that thrives on "avoiding closeness".
Yet I suppose that's where things are at now.. You both get something out've this...Something you two seem to feel safe with... FOr how long  however ?  Dunno..

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Keith ~ so she unloads on you, but doesn't give you much of a chance to let her know what's on your mind?

Don,  WOW... I'll get into this when I return from next door, I do need to run before stores close here at 9  (1/2 hour)..

Depending on the stage setting, that ALWAYS happened when I played violin, and later string bass in an orchestra,  the formal setting freaked me out, and made me feel trapped....

Rock was MUCH different,  Even stadiums, coliseums..  Well. cept for the philly spectrum, and SPAC.....I sort've felt edgy at those places for some reason...

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

I'm going to do something about this.

I got the next 2 days off. I'm going to load that unbroke pony in the trailer and go off somewhere where there ain't no fences. There is a place down by the river like that....I don't care if it rains the whole time. He needs broke, and I need bucked off. We just need a safe place to do it to each other.

I don't ever want to need anybody again. I don't ever want to feel lonely again...And besides all that, he needs broke and i need to sleep a few nights in my truck and learn to live with the rain.

Spring is gonna be early this year and i need me and that pony ready for it.

Keith~

Sounds like you have MY eating habits, and it really is SO not healthy.

I don't eat regularly at ALL...... I'm kind of on a schedule where rather than eating when I "feel hungry", or at regular MEAL TIMES like most people do...... (I honestly never even really "feel hungry")....... I will start feeling dizzy, kinda weak- and it hits me "Oh heck, I haven't eaten anything yet today". Then generally, after I eat something, I'll feel worse.

Carb and sugar highs & lows can really do a job on you. I know, cause it's my #1 worst habit- the way I eat. (or........ "don't eat") .  Sounds stupid, but I do have to mentally make myself think of it. To me, saying "I'm hungry" normally just means "I'm starting to feel lightheaded & nautious". (spelling?? sorry)

I always, ALWAYS try to keep a can of peanuts around (even in a desk drawer at work)... and try to have bananas handy. Peanuts are so much protein that a handful can be a bit of a pick-me-up when I get to feeling sick from not eating. And bananas work for me as well, but that's out of habit, because I have had a small potassium deficiency my whole life- and that can get bad when I don't eat right. So bananas can even cure a headache for me sometimes. Then again, so can salt.

God, I'm a basket case. Maybe I best just sit back & read & try to pick up some good eating habits from you MEN,  LOL .

And as to your ex-wife..... nobody hang me out to dry for stating this opinion...... but I almost envy you. To not have all the bad stuff a marriage can bring, but every now and again just meet up with your ex to get what you both need??..... I could handle that, much easier than what I sometimes am faced with handling.

Anyhow........I'll let you all get back to your guy chat.  :)

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

Steven ~ I stopped playing full time at the end of 2000.  I had a daytime job and the fun of playing was really over-shadowed by the anxiety and fatigue.  I still play an occasional casual gig.  It's funny, I've never had problems in the studio (where some people might have a problem), just on stage.  None of this ever happened until the late '80s.  The '70s and early '80s were fun and a breeze.  Well that's enough of that.  I've taken this thread way off course!!!

I respect your opinion on that one. It's called "Walk a mile in my shoes" same as the situation Keith is facing. Hard to know the right words to say

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pinkrose

I don't know why folks don't understand that THIS is the actual situation.


I know.  You and I are both stuck right here... I HATE feeling dependant,  I don't ever want to need anybody EVER because it feels weak, and leaves me vulnerable... but I DO want someone there too...so it sets up a paradox...I got used to being lonely, and alone, and resigned myself to the fact that something's been going wrong for awhile in my relationships and that sucks, yet rather than change something about my method, I opt to stay alone, it's easier and less emotionally risky.... Lonely, and Alone is MUCH more peaceful.... That's why I don't flirt with my addictions

Problem is Keith,  As much as you like your "bad girls".  It set's up a nasty pattern, you can't domesticate something that's wild... It's been a wild goose chase that just peels off old scabs...yet it has it's "rushes" too, yet ultimately if the pain excedes the pleasure,  it's not working for you

There are some advantages to nice girls



Don,  She knows exactly what she's doing.  Look at how she impacted him by doing what she did..  The cycle will go on, as long as both partners find this "catch me if you can" game attractive...

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Gez, I guess you hit it square on the head....Donna is not a "nice girl" fersure....I wouldn't have looked at her twice if she was....But she was more domesticated than most of the others I shacked/married.....AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHH!

Man, I ain't gonna start chasing my tail over her....It's bad enuff she has you doing it for me....I'm thru gong in circles-she made me do it all day, but it's over.

I need to get my head down and start sniffing again.

OK, so why is it that some couples have such a hard time being straight with each other?  Why is all the game playing necessary?  Are they afraid of finding out how they REALLY feel about each other underneath all the games?

I guess that's one way to look at it Keith...  Either you keep sniffing, or you get soft and "settle",  there's no in between,   OK, bad choice of words  

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Games?...I don't do games....I am as simple as the light switch on the wall.....Flip me up, I work...flip me down, I stop.

No games, no soap, no drama....Don't try to lead me in circles....I need direction, not confusion...I got direction and don't mind slowing my pace, just don't go off in circles with me.