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Don said the most, using the least number of words...Kudo's Don


Excellent point IMHO

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Thank you Steven!

Your Polished! I't just to the right a little!

Now Plug............!!!!


You keep giving everyone cool pics..... and all I got was HORNS?!?! Ya trying to tell me something there, or what?

Mine didn't look as cool as Perry's, or near as provocative as the pic you did of Sharon, .

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

Uhhhh...actually, it's just to the left a little.  :shock:  :newlol:

Yeah plug,  at least give me a nice pair of EE gazonkers !    LOL



(the redicule I'll subject myself to for your comedic relief folks, OY)

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

I am wondering how you were able to enlarge or zoom in on my avatar pic?
Darn it, it's suppose to be distant so I'm not so ugly!!

In a six month relationship if you are still communicating with cliches "need my space" I doubt very seriously if a heart to heart talk would do any good.  If you cant look into her eyes and see any emotion or if she wont even look into your eyes I would casually end it.. Relax and enjoy your "space" for awhile if its meant to be then both of you will find a way to nurture it  I suppose at this time a candlelight bubble bath is totally out of the question...I say this with humor but is one of the best ways to join spiritually there is...

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Thanks for all the advise....after careful consideration of all I have heard from yall and from my close friends, here's the gameplan:

#1: I already told her Tuesday morning that I'd respect her space and was ready to talk when she was ready, and I'm going to stick to that.

#2: In the meantime, I am going to really organize my thoughts as to what I want out of this relationship, write it down, and be ready to honestly ask her if we have the same goals. When we do talk, I first want to hear what she has to say as I think it will tell me all I need to know about how committed she is to this, but I'm about 95% sure that I will need to ask this question either way. I'm prepared for either answer.

Sound like the right thing to do?

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C Mc
KJ, FL

Do you LOVE her?

Try to allow YOURSELF enough space WITHOUT feeling you did wrong to be able to see if you might not be able to get the answer to your question just based on what was... If you allow yourself a "cooling" period, you might realize that the chances MIGHT be 95% without even asking her that as things were left this is what is;

1)   It seems evident that you two do not have the same current desires physically, and aren't openly communicating.

2)   Committed to "this" ?   If "this" means you feel close to her, and she doesn't reciprocate in her actions,  is "this" worth nurturing at all ?   How about YOUR needs ?   If you want someone close, and she rejects that, are YOUR needs getting met ?  THIS is important too.. It sounds as if SHE is taking care of her.... As Keith mentioned,  YOU need to be good to you..  You did NOTHING wrong. You felt hurt too that night..UNLESS there was something else that turned her off about you that particular night ?   were you acting drunk and sloppy ?  or were you just being you ? If you were just being you,  it sounds as though you reacted to something that would upset most sensitive people in a relationship, EVEN if you were being too clingy, had you not left at first without her,  do you think the outcome really would've been different ?

It sounds as if she ISN'T where you are currently... Why do you need her words to tell you that this is, or isn't so ?  

Wait it out,  You told her you were receptive to talking, DON'T go rushing dialogue at this point !   Take this time to re-establish YOUR SPACE and composure too !  Don't allow yourself to be dependent on her !

She might or might not call you.  As painful the realization is,  her actions might've told you something she couldn't verbalize.  Make it easy on yourself,  LET HER call if she has something to say. Calling her MIGHT not be a good move.. Unless you are prepared to hear  "I've given it some thought, you are a great guy, and I'm sorry for how I acted, yet I don't know if this is really what I want"...

My guess is that that is what she was saying to you...

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Ok here I go:

1.  She was pushing you away at the concert = I'm on the prawl AKA there is someone her I have my sights on so don't mess it up for me.  If she cared about you then she would not be looking.

2.  You left her there - wew that is the worst possible thing you could have done.  Even if you are fighting with your date you always take them home or if they refuse to go with you make sure that she has made arrangements to get a ride from someone else and don't leave until she does.

3.  Women do not like clingy men.  Typically a woman wants to be loved and worshiped.  But to be clingy, is much a of the time, a sign that you are weak.  Women do not like weak men.

4. Don't beg to get her back - maybe a little gester of flowers would be nice with a had written note from you (this means you have to go to the florist and write the note)  Just a simple I'm sorry and ask her out for a dinner date.  I wouldn't do it for this weekend, I would continue to give her space until early next week.  Do a dinner date in the middle of the week.  And for goodness sakes take her somewhere nice and quiet.

5.  If you can get her to aggree to go on a dinner date with you.  Don't harp on what happend to much, Just a simple I am sorry I messed up will suffice.  If she cares about you then she will take that and forgive you.  It doesn't matter how much you talk about it, it is not going to change what happend.  Both of you should just accept it for what it is and move on.

Don't forget the Ross and Rachel episode when Rachel told Ross they were on a break and he went to bed with the copy girl.  Don't mess things up by hopping into the sack with someone to soon.  cause if you don't work through this then you will need to take some time for yourself and heal.

That's my female perspective and I am sticking to it.  

Good Luck!!!

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Will sing or fish for food!!I'm not quite right!!

Hey Steven how about that I did a post that was more than 20 words long!!! I broke a record!!!

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Will sing or fish for food!!I'm not quite right!!

1st thing you do is reach down with your right hand and make sure she didn't steal your balls ! ---If you find that they are still intact get a couple of buddies and some beer and go out and have some fun !!!!  "YOU'RE ON A BREAK"  LOL

When a woman tells you that your clingy it means something else.  That whole I need my space thing is for the movies.  Ignore her , go out and have some fun and if its meant to be she will call you.  You already know you miss her --she needs to know she misses you too.   If you continue to "chase" her that only proves your clingyness !   GOOD LUCK   we've all been there man !!!

duplicate post deleted

That never messed things up for me,  it's the attitude THEY get. I have past baggage too,  if they are going to get all bent out've shape when I call them "mommy" why should that become my problem ?

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Topher,  I think what might be beneficial to hear "from a female perspective" would be if you told us her age, and phrased it like this...


"When a female around ___ years old reacts this way, to this situation, what is she really saying to me ?"


That is something that a female might help you with...

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

She's 28, I'm 29

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C Mc
KJ, FL

OK DO YOU LOVE HER?

I suppose one other question I have would be in reality, how close were you two ?
Did you live together ?   Did you date every week ?   Was this somewhat physical to begin with ?  Was she retracting something you two DID have ?   or was she rejecting your moves to take this relationship to a next step ?

IE... If you two were just casually dating, you blew this out've proportion in your mind, yet to her you were "A friend"... It might be reasonable to assume what's real vs what's fantasy..

However if you two were spending EVERY night together, half her wardrobe was at your apt, and she vacillated suddenly, for no apparent reason this CAN be a shocker !  Yet stranger things have happened....

I think knowing what's real, vs what might've been magnified in your mind is good to take into consideration too....

JMO..

Now I'll shutup, I promise  :)

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".