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Steven Kaplan
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 6:16 pm |
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Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2005 6:48 pm Posts: 13645 Been Liked: 11 times
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Quote: I finally learned not to destroy me when I watched what I built fall apart..... So now it is fersure poetic....
I'm still working on this, VERY VERY easy to unknowingly turn things inward and do an even better number on ourselves !
_________________ Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".
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Steven Kaplan
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 6:18 pm |
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Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2005 6:48 pm Posts: 13645 Been Liked: 11 times
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Two thing's I find deadly... Bad conscious, and feeling's of impotent rage
Turn extreme anger inwards, and THAT'S one nasty event
_________________ Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".
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Singing Squid
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 6:20 pm |
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Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 12:46 pm Posts: 1564 Songs: 3 Location: Fort Worth, Texas Been Liked: 0 time
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Steven Kaplan @ Sun Jan 29, 2006 8:16 pm wrote: Quote: I finally learned not to destroy me when I watched what I built fall apart..... So now it is fersure poetic.... I'm still working on this, VERY VERY easy to unknowingly turn things inward and do an even better number on ourselves !
I know. Until I quit letting this one eat me alive inside, I was destroying myself. 2005 was not a really good year for me. '06 has potential so far!!
_________________ [glow=white][scroll]Live, laugh, and love today--just in case tomorrow doesn't make it[/scroll][/glow]
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Guest
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 6:29 pm |
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SingingSquid @ Sun Jan 29, 2006 6:20 pm wrote: Steven Kaplan @ Sun Jan 29, 2006 8:16 pm wrote: Quote: I finally learned not to destroy me when I watched what I built fall apart..... So now it is fersure poetic.... I'm still working on this, VERY VERY easy to unknowingly turn things inward and do an even better number on ourselves ! I know. Until I quit letting this one eat me alive inside, I was destroying myself. 2005 was not a really good year for me. '06 has potential so far!!
Ok, let's make this real...........
I was on my knees in front of her with a gun to my head.
She said, "Keith, don't do this to me."
"Don't do this to ME." she said.
She didn't say "Don't do this to yourself", she said "Don't do this to ME"
The only reason I am alive today is because I heard a whisper scream to me....I heard that one word...."ME", meaning her......And that's when I realized everyting had always been about her, not me, and never "WE".
So I put the gun down, got back on my feet and walked away from her....I have never been on my knees again since that day.....No one can ever make me want to hurt myself again.....I would die fighting next to them, but not for them.
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Guest
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 6:38 pm |
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SingingSquid @ Sun Jan 29, 2006 6:20 pm wrote: Steven Kaplan @ Sun Jan 29, 2006 8:16 pm wrote: Quote: I finally learned not to destroy me when I watched what I built fall apart..... So now it is fersure poetic.... I'm still working on this, VERY VERY easy to unknowingly turn things inward and do an even better number on ourselves ! I know. Until I quit letting this one eat me alive inside, I was destroying myself. 2005 was not a really good year for me. '06 has potential so far!!
2006 ain't ready for you, Sailor.....You got so much going for you, you need to go easy on this old world......So spead it out over a year or two....Set a pace you can keep and stick to it....I like to watch a good race where the runners know how to run.
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Singing Squid
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 6:40 pm |
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Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 12:46 pm Posts: 1564 Songs: 3 Location: Fort Worth, Texas Been Liked: 0 time
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Keith01 @ Sun Jan 29, 2006 8:29 pm wrote: SingingSquid @ Sun Jan 29, 2006 6:20 pm wrote: Steven Kaplan @ Sun Jan 29, 2006 8:16 pm wrote: Quote: I finally learned not to destroy me when I watched what I built fall apart..... So now it is fersure poetic.... I'm still working on this, VERY VERY easy to unknowingly turn things inward and do an even better number on ourselves ! I know. Until I quit letting this one eat me alive inside, I was destroying myself. 2005 was not a really good year for me. '06 has potential so far!! Ok, let's make this real........... I was on my knees in front of her with a gun to my head. She said, "Keith, don't do this to me." "Don't do this to ME." she said. She didn't say "Don't do this to yourself", she said "Don't do this to ME" The only reason I am alive today is because I heard a whisper scream to me....I heard that one word...."ME", meaning her......And that's when I realized everyting had always been about her, not me, and never "WE". So I put the gun down, got back on my feet and walked away from her....I have never been on my knees again since that day.....No one can ever make me want to hurt myself again.....I would die fighting next to them, but not for them.
No wonder you want to run like hell now
Dayum...and I thought my ex was selfish at times...WOW...just imagining that rips my guts out!!
I, for one, am glad you're still with us, man.
_________________ [glow=white][scroll]Live, laugh, and love today--just in case tomorrow doesn't make it[/scroll][/glow]
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Singing Squid
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 6:42 pm |
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Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 12:46 pm Posts: 1564 Songs: 3 Location: Fort Worth, Texas Been Liked: 0 time
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Keith01 @ Sun Jan 29, 2006 8:38 pm wrote: SingingSquid @ Sun Jan 29, 2006 6:20 pm wrote: Steven Kaplan @ Sun Jan 29, 2006 8:16 pm wrote: Quote: I finally learned not to destroy me when I watched what I built fall apart..... So now it is fersure poetic.... I'm still working on this, VERY VERY easy to unknowingly turn things inward and do an even better number on ourselves ! I know. Until I quit letting this one eat me alive inside, I was destroying myself. 2005 was not a really good year for me. '06 has potential so far!! 2006 ain't ready for you, Sailor.....You got so much going for you, you need to go easy on this old world......So spead it out over a year or two....Set a pace you can keep and stick to it....I like to watch a good race where the runners know how to run.
I just gotta get my ducks lined up. And quit making such DUMB decisions. You know, for such a smart person, you put me around a pretty girl, and I start acting like a candidate for the Special Olympics :no:
_________________ [glow=white][scroll]Live, laugh, and love today--just in case tomorrow doesn't make it[/scroll][/glow]
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Steven Kaplan
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 6:43 pm |
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Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2005 6:48 pm Posts: 13645 Been Liked: 11 times
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Yep, Like I mentioned to you Keith, Years back I chose life, Decided I want to live..Yet just the choice alone doesn't grant us any immediate rewards, nor does it assure us that life is going to be easy and fun....I wish it were that simple... I'm a survivor, I want to live... It takes ALOT of work and help along the way...Straightening up certain aspects of my life happened instantaneously, trying to keep my head from wondering to where it tends to go.... It's been years of playing hide and go-seek.... Saying.... "there you are", and pulling my head out've my &#$* and trying to attach it back to where rumor has it, it's supposed to be.
_________________ Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".
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Guest
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 6:44 pm |
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Thanks,...Ain't nobody more glad than me, tho.
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Singing Squid
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 6:48 pm |
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Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 12:46 pm Posts: 1564 Songs: 3 Location: Fort Worth, Texas Been Liked: 0 time
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If Sharon (Isis) can put this shindig together, you BETTER be up for a little bit of a road trip!! And if you need help with it Sharon...LET ME KNOW!!
_________________ [glow=white][scroll]Live, laugh, and love today--just in case tomorrow doesn't make it[/scroll][/glow]
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Guest
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 6:51 pm |
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Steven Kaplan @ Sun Jan 29, 2006 6:43 pm wrote: Yep, Like I mentioned to you Keith, Years back I chose life, Decided I want to live..Yet just the choice alone doesn't grant us any immediate rewards, nor does it assure us that life is going to be easy and fun
.......Life is my BowFlex.
I'm glad it's hard and makes me strain at it..........And when it ain't, I tend to make it hard...Least I get soft and weak....I gotta keep myself in shape in case I meet that little gal who knows how to use her hands on me, you know?
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Guest
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 7:11 pm |
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ROADTRIP?
Did sombody say roadtrip?
Yehaw!
Details, please!
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Steven Kaplan
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 7:17 pm |
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Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2005 6:48 pm Posts: 13645 Been Liked: 11 times
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Quote: ....Set a pace you can keep and stick to it....I like to watch a good race where the runners know how to run.
You ever feel like you entered the Boston Marathon around 25 years ago ? and you're chugging along....than you notice that the "Physically challenged" division of the marathon runner's pass you by... you keep running and running, yet you get a feeling you aren't in Massachusette's any longer ? You're treading water in the Atlantic getting chased by a shark trapped in the harbor outside of Boston...
(There was an analogy there someplace, but I decided to get creative, and I'm to tired to finish my train of thought)
Bottomline, It's like Camus "Myth of Sisyphus"... You keep running and running yet there's no destination, and even assuming there was a destination..You can't reach it. Someone keep's moving the finish line while you're in the middle of the race, Assuming it's possible to cross a finish line, you somehow ended up on a treadmill...
OK, my head's barking to go out... catch you later...
_________________ Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".
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Singing Squid
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 7:21 pm |
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Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 12:46 pm Posts: 1564 Songs: 3 Location: Fort Worth, Texas Been Liked: 0 time
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Keith01 @ Sun Jan 29, 2006 9:11 pm wrote: ROADTRIP?
Did sombody say roadtrip?
Yehaw!
Details, please!
C'mon over anytime!! Our usual haunt is in Grand Prairie, right on the Tarrant/Dallas County line.
But Sharon is trying to put together a KS get-together there sometime later on this year. Maybe a KS Southern thing. She's working on details.
But we're close enough you could come over for a weekend almost anytime
_________________ [glow=white][scroll]Live, laugh, and love today--just in case tomorrow doesn't make it[/scroll][/glow]
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 7:39 pm |
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Kappy,
There ain't no finish line, you fool!
This is the Human Race we are talking about, not a sprint. It's a marathon relay that hopefully will never end.........It's all about style and tactics.....It's all about struggle and effort......But mostly, it's all about grace and skill.
There are those who sit on the sidelines and watch us race, and those who compete...
The best runner to watch it the one who is competing with himself.
I can always find the energy to race someone I hate, but it takes real strength to make me wanna beat myself....I figure that if I was to beat myself everyday, then I can't help but win the gold along the way.
You win as you go...There is no finish line for those who run the race, only those who never start it.
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Steven Kaplan
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 7:51 pm |
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Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2005 6:48 pm Posts: 13645 Been Liked: 11 times
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Oh man, good one ! Sorry about that. Kappy fell asleep an hour ago, We didn't introduce ourselves ! We're his finger's, we snuck out've the bedroom to have some fun in here without that cumbersome old fart here getting in our way...
Quote: I can always find the energy to race someone I hate, but it takes real strength to make me wanna beat myself....I figure that if I was to beat myself everyday, then I can't help but win the gold along the way.
Keith, I've got something to say about this analogy, but I'll wait til tomorrow... This can be a deadly race the perfectionist can also kill himself with....YOU CAN'T beat yourself everyday ! THIS can become an obsession, JUST trying to keep up with yourself isn't always doable..... The compulsive person doesn't race well against him/herself.. I struggled like hell with this.. Didn't work well for me. For many, trying to "beat ourselves" becomes beating ourselves up. For the compulsive person, "The Gold" isn't a reward after the arduous battle, this type personality often can't experience achieving it... An example might be the anorexic person........ TTYL
(This is exactly the rut I was telling you I found myself in)
Knowing when to push yourself, and when it's time to pamper yourself, or succumb to being pampered is important... We aren't bionic...
JMO
_________________ Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".
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Steven Kaplan
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 8:02 pm |
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Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2005 6:48 pm Posts: 13645 Been Liked: 11 times
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Quote: Keith, I've got something to say about this analogy, but I'll wait til tomorrow Quote: You lied Kappy
Sue me ! LOL
Time to crash !! Night Keith, later all !!! I'll either catch you tomorrow, or in 10 minutes, my hopes are I'll sleep !
_________________ Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".
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Steven Kaplan
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 8:28 pm |
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Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2005 6:48 pm Posts: 13645 Been Liked: 11 times
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Damn, Just one more thing....
I agree with all you said to Dave however there's a conflict. Thing's aren't always so cut and dry...
1) Past behaviour is indicative of future behaviour
2) People mature learn from their mistakes and change their ways
See where I'm going ? It get's tough, and this is where being able to see grey is important, and ALWAYS tough as hell.... For instance.... Without knowing the details I was assuming your Ex might've realized her mistake, thing's might NOT be the same... Yet according to (1) above, they of course MIGHT be the same... Always risk, tough to see things clearly so we can play it safe and assume 1.. Yet we might be screwing ourselves AND another in doing so ! TOUGH calls always
_________________ Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".
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mroctober
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Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 4:09 am |
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Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2005 1:52 pm Posts: 680 Location: Gainesville Florida Been Liked: 2 times
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Quote: I was on my knees in front of her with a gun to my head.
Been There Too...
Had a Friend that actually pulled it off.
Damn look at all he's missed in the last 20 years
over some Broad.
Never again ..
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Singing Squid
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Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 5:24 am |
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Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 12:46 pm Posts: 1564 Songs: 3 Location: Fort Worth, Texas Been Liked: 0 time
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mroctober @ Mon Jan 30, 2006 6:09 am wrote: Quote: I was on my knees in front of her with a gun to my head. Been There Too... Had a Friend that actually pulled it off. look at all he's missed in the last 20 years over some Broad. Never again ..
I thought about it...for about 5 seconds. I got too much to live for. I've got a Mini-Me that needs his Dad too much...not to mention a lot of friends and family that would miss me a lot...so, nope, not an option.
She didn't kill me...she made me stronger!
_________________ [glow=white][scroll]Live, laugh, and love today--just in case tomorrow doesn't make it[/scroll][/glow]
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