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My New Year's resolution is to attempt to reconcile with my second wife.....

She comes to visit and we chat on the phone, but I have been keeping her at arm's length emotionally for the last several years....(That's where you pretend that your pillow is her and you talk to it like you would her, but you don't dare say those things to her face.)

Anyway, .............I miss her............I made a mistake when  I divorced her and married my third wife, and I made a mistake when I married my first wife.....But my second wife was a keeper.

Heh, heh....So my New Year's resolution is to generate some drama in my life.


Yehaw!

So what do you plan to change about you?

Wow Keith I really hope it works out for you. I would love to know how that turns out for you, but I'm sure that is personal.

Mine is boring - I would like to be a better person each year. It is the same every year. It helps me stay on track to once a year remind myself the person I want to be.  :D

NOW GO GET HER!!

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Keith, I just got back from a date.  Your third wife wants me to give you her regards.
Oh yeah,  she mentioned your side of the story about the Schnauzer isn't really what happened ~     (::::Ducking:::::  just kidding btw.)

<Schnauzer topic never came up>


On a serious note,  Good luck with the second wife. If you two are getting closer, and spending more time and attention to one-another, maybe it was meant to be.
Sometimes keeping people "emotionally at an arm's length" is a must. We have to protect ourselves.. From what  you say however,  it sounds like the only barrier between reconciliation and distance, is your own choice.  

Oh, and my resolution ?   To spend less time attending to the important things, eating more junk food, exercising less, and of course spending more time in chatroom's online..  The secret to succeeding with a resolution, is to not set expectations unreasonably high.  (Also the secret to happiness is low standards ! But that's just my philosophy ) , oh yeah,  My pillow and I don't talk much these days. I got sick of all the fighting, had to take some space.

                                                         

                                                                            Happy New Year

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Mine is to finally finish learning to drive... well finish as in pass the test

I guess the only resolution I really made was "Buy a computer."  And I did.  Yesterday I went to dell.com and ordered a laptop and some software.  All together it was less than $700--WOW WHAT A DEAL!!!!  

So stay tuned, because I will soon be writing to you from my NEW computer!  

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I love being a mom!

Keith01, that would scare me to death. The reconciliation thing. I've been married to one woman for 23 years, and I don't think I would ever do it again. This year has been especially challenging because of my newfound outgoing personality. I use to be quiet, content, and somewhat withdrawn from what everyone else is doing, now I want to be normal, but that is upsetting to my wife. I guess she wants me to be her puppet or whatever.
But I've realized over the years that there is more in life to discover and be a part of, and I feel like I'm being strangled. So, I'm probably going to end up old and alone when all is said and done.
I'm not referring to just the karaoke thing, although it has been the most argued aspect of my newfound happiness. It's just the reasoning behind the argument that has led me to believe that I'll never be able to be more than what I am with this person, therefore, my life planning for 2006 is heading in a totally new direction.
This relationship will never be successful, although I went for years thinking I'd found my soulmate on the first try, and I couldn't imagine ever being without her. She's helped me in more ways than one to realize we've been fooling ourselves.
The real problem is, neither one of us will take the first step. I don't know if it's denial, laziness, or another motive. We just don't see eye to eye any longer.
I know, this is getting waaay too personal, but who cares? This is a general discussion forum, and I don't have anything to hide, so why not let it all out in the open?
I know you didn't ask for advice, but I'll say it anyway, I'd run far away if I were you. There was a reason it didn't work out the first time, and we would all like to believe that people change for the better, some do, some just never get the picture, and that's the problem I'm dealing with right now. I figure after a divorce or separation, the damage is already done, how can it ever start over new again? It's still the same two people. But love is a weird thing. Just like how a woman gets the crap beat out of her continuously by the same piece of sh*t man, but says.....but I love him. That's incomprehensible. Think long and hard my friend.

Pcornel,

You are most correct.....Now that I sobered up, I decided to change my New Year's resolution...Whatever I come up with won't include the second wife.

You see what happens when I type while drinking? I say really stupid stuff.....

Me and the first wife were married 23 years-almost 24....She did what you are contemplating doing....She decided one day that she wanted to experience a different life...Told me "sorry, but you just don't understand"....Anyway, it didn't take me long to discover I really enjoyed other girls better than her.....She was a constantly depressed person who will never be happy.

I went kind nuts having fun...Bought the red sports car, got my ear pierced and moved two strippers into the house....Even bought them a tanning bed...YEHAW!....That was fun!

Then I met the 2nd wife....On our first date she tossed her clothes out of the car!...YEHAW again!...She had tattoos in just the right places, too....So I married her....Heh, heh.....Oh well, at least I kept all the pics.

It's not all that bad once you get used to it.




As to the other content,  Alot of thing's happen and I find it scary that a "once soulmate", can become a stranger..  Thing is, people confuse alot of things such as Dependence, Physical attraction, & of course, "Love".  Emotion's are transient. They often change...

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

I'm gonna try to catch all the reruns of "Lost" on tv and actually try to figure out what the **** is going on...

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See,  Now these are relationship's worth rekindling.  OK,  I'm getting all sensitive and emotional now.  The tear's are starting to flow down my cheek's. I better stop.

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Oh Keith - This is like having a little karaoke soap opera
action here. "As Keith Turns"  LMAO "One drink to Live"  LMAO "All My Exes"

As for the rest of you - shame on you - woman aren't all bad - we cook and clean
occasionally - When I cook it's only the best 1-800-snd-pizza

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^^^Now that would be a good resolution, LESS ORDERING OUT!  *Teach husband to cook!  Sounds like a good resolution to me!

I also want to get more into my business, if that's possible.  Refine things now that I've got everything together and going.

Keith & Cornell, good luck with all of that. . . looks like you guys have a long road in front of you.  But I'm sure it's well worth the travel.

!  My favorite recipe is:  1. Pick up phone.  2. Call Domino's or Pizza Hut.  

As for cleaning, I (unfortunately) have a wonderful talent for putting off the housework--and all the dust bunnies in my house are grateful for it.

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I love being a mom!

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You girls can laff if you want, but I know my third wife ain't laffing right now....I tossed her out 3 months ago cause she refused to cook and clean and I moved my buddy in instead.

My buddy Robbie is cooking porkchops, mashed taters n gravy for me as we speak/type......He spends most nights here in a spare room now a days. I bought him a horse for Christmas....We are also fishing buddies....We have even shared a few dates.

Nope, I am thru with live-in's or marrying women.....They just can't obey house rules.

Me and my buddy have 2400 ft of house with a huge game room that has a pro level PA, dance pole, mirrows and disco lights permanently installed....We've got our horses right outside and a new bass boat in the carport.....Who needs women hanging around that don't cook n clean?

Robbie and I cook most everything on the grill using firewood, not charcoal....Last night was sirloins....Tonight it's chops....This weekend it will be lots of beer, music, a few friends  and more of the same good cooking.

If we discover we can't keep up with the housework, we will hire a maid.

I'm sorry Keith01 that I revealed my personal situation and maybe compared it to yours.....every situation is different.
More than likely, I'm just talking out my *ss because of recent difficulties. I'm firmly planted, as my wife is at the moment. Any other plans or activities she has aspirations of are beyond me, but my instincts tell me that she's in this for the long haul.
Now, if I can continue to live with the paranoid dilusions and constant psycho-analitical behavior, I may survive this thing.
She's not a party girl. Maybe I'm just pushing the edges of bachelorism a bit?
Hell, I'm a truck driver. I don't know any other woman who would want to be involved with a truck driver. I might want to weigh my options more carefully.
But whatever you decide, I'm sure you'll make it your own decision.
Good luck man.  :)

As of yesterday, I decided to never trust the Bentley with the valet again. I'm still seething.

On a more sobering note, assuming a person does meet the "girl of his dreams", he MUST put up a really good fence after he marries her! Adult's should know this stuff.

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Keith, has it ever crossed your mind that it takes 2 to tango? If 3 women divorce you, you should seriously consider looking at yourself at some point. Not all 3 women can be wrong about the same man.

I've found in my particular case, the women *I'm* most attracted to haven't been the easiest women to have a long term relationship with. Sure, in a sense that's *ME* I agree, thing is, these are still the females I end up infatuated with, or I am physically attracted to; It's not the personality that draws me to them, It's appearance, and how they carry themselves, etc. Some of us fall before we have a clue who the woman is. Immature ?  Sure.. Yet it just happens, and we become suckers.   I usually like the outgoing, more confident (appearing) women. Problem is (at least in my particular case) the relationships are intense, and VERY short-lived for whatever reason, not exactly sure, yet it does "take two". While I'm VERY cautious when it comes to proposing to a woman, many are more impulsive. They jump during the intensity, although they jump way too soon IMHO. Some of us unfortuneately fall for those that aren't compatible with us long term, or at all, it's just a fantasy. Might be a very different personality type, or even a very similar personality type, often it's sexual attraction *in my case*, and for a short time these relationships are pretty intense yet not meant for marriage, I'm even stupid enough to think lust is love for awhile. I try to assess whether it's "infatuation", "fear of being alone" or in the cases of the strongest pull and attraction LUST , all sorts of possibilities (that also might be indicative that the relationship isn't meant to be a commitment) signs we'll both get hurt, and commit to something that's built on just physical attraction, or even my insecurity, maybe becoming dependent on the woman because I'm needy, and I think she can save me, etc. Some of us aren't mature enough, or grounded enough in ourselves to marry at even 50 or 60. I'm not.

I think Keith has a pretty set criterion as to what he's attracted to in a female..Just an assumption from his descriptions, these could be more difficult women for some to last in relationships with... I used to go for the wild, "unattainable" challenge, it sort've became a hunting expedition, in my particular cases, the women I became fixated on were nothing more than obsessions. People can only compromise so much, and novelty wears out..At one point I realized that "physical" can't sustain a relationship. Emotionally there was nothing there.  Eventually it occurred to me that as far as her being a *person* went..I couldn't stand what was inside the packaging ! Assuming she didn't come to such a recognition regarding me first or "this isn't the guy I can stand being with in real".  Thing is, we didn't care about "real" or "compatibility", it was just happening...It was a physical thing, and a "bone jumping" party in the making. How many relationships and marriages when we're young are much more than fantasies two people are trying to make into a reality ? I don't know.

I stay single for this reason,  I don't know what I want nor have I met someone I felt I could settle with for life. It took hard work to feel OK with being single, and break the *needing* to be in some (usually dysfunctional) relationship cycle. As for finding what's right down the road, I hope some day.  I need to get my own butt grounded first, also need some spiritual belief, hopefully when I feel I "fit in the world someplace", and the testosterone's stopped raging, I'll meet a "female friend" who I trust, and eventually love enough to spend my life with.

I'm petrified of abandonment, divorce, or even my falling out've love with someone I committed to.  Pretty painful stuff. Love is a pretty confusing thing though... Many don't have a clue as to whom the person they think they love, really is.

JMO

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".