Karaoke Forums

My wife and I talked for years about getting a karaoke machine for fun, but never pursued it until about two years ago when I bought one for us as an anniversary present.  The original idea was that we could sing duets together, and one of our first discs was a duets disc.  But we found that we tended not to like the same songs, and that my louder voice tended to drown her out when we sang together.  Occasionally we'll sing a song together, but not a duet; we just both sing the melody.  It usually works better when we just take turns.

She doesn't sing as much as I do at home, but I'm a stay-at-home dad so I have more time.  It's funny because she listens to far more music than I do.  She doesn't care about going out and singing in public, but she lets me go out about one night a week if the kids aren't too difficult at the time.  She's generally pretty supportive of my need to sing.

My oldest daughter (age 4) isn't very patient with it.  She sings a little bit, but gets really angry if I sing a line she wanted to sing or want to sing a song she doesn't like.  If she feels like I'm ignoring her too much because of my singing she'll interrupt me in the middle of a song, a habit I find incredibly maddening.

I'm pretty close to my parents, who live across town.  They're aware of my karaoke, and are pretty much indifferent to it.  Not discouraging, but not really encouraging either.  But at least they think I'm a pretty good singer.  Most of my friends haven't heard me sing.  Most are shocked when I tell them I sing in front of people.

What was the question again?

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Reward: nine yen in drawer.

This is interesting. Most of my wives have either been singers or musicians. As such, sometimes our meeting for the first time has been with me on stage an them in the audience. But I had one wife, a disk jockey and Playboy bunny who truly hated my music with a passion. She never came to a single gig, she never took an interest in my originals, unfortunately, perhaps much of it was because having two performers in one spot is sometimes stressful.

Now Syber was impressed when she first heard me play the piano in some Goodwill store and people were coming up and saying nice things. Syber had played violin but had never really sang, and the first time I got her in front of a mike she was terrified. I mean cold sweat, frozen, could not sing. Over the years, we put together a band and began performing and she has gotten to the point now where she sings and subs almost everyday.

In this music thing versus marriage, well I have a pretty personal philosophy. it was difficult in my 2nd marriage practicing in the attic and never receiving a single complement from my wife on a single song. I think she basically though my music thing was dumb. No doubt as a disk jockey she had met, and we met many very famous musicians.

It would be very hard being married to someone heavy into hip hop or rap. Syber has made me proud more than once over the years in her performances. It has not been a smooth road, and much of her critical nature on voice comes from my almost Henry Higgins Pygmallion approach to teaching Syber to become a performing singer and musician. (she has also learned to play guitar and bass now).

Yet, I guess it comes down to what kind of a marriage you have. A spouse may feel left out when they are not part of "your" music.  

I watched a Seinfield once where a potential girlfriend stopped the relationship when she went to one of his shows and said "your act sucks." I can't go out with a man I cannot look up to in whatever he does.

Yet, I will tell you, there is a moment when you are singing a duet of a love song with someone you truly love and you get to the ending part of the song and you both choke up and this feeling goes through you of sharing something that is beyond words. If you have been there, you know what I mean.

jvj

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There are no accidents in a perfect world   - Blondie

I really don't have a significant other at the moment, but I can tell you that my family thinks that I SUCK. They have said to me that I sound something like a cross between a dying moose and a constipated goat (I can't imagine)! When I do sing in front of strangers, I either get a rousing ovation, or the place becomes so quiet you could hear the crickets chirping (since KJ's usually don't allow booing or cat calls).  So to be honest, I can't really say- I feel most of the time that any applause is simply gratuitous and most people think that I should attempt to do a tracheotomy on myself with special emphasis on trying to permanently destroy the vocal chords.

Boy - did I ever pop into the wrong topic.  

Maybe I shouldn't even share here. Nah- most of you all know me well enough by now that you've made up your minds wether to like me or hate me, so I'll share my "music vs. marriage" life  with ya too.

My hubby is a HUGE contradiction here.

He loves to have me sing for his friends- he tells them that I sing, play guitar & fiddle, write songs, blah-blah-blah.  Everytime someone is over, he says "Hey get your guitar & play _ _ _"  for them. I've almost gotten fooled into thinking he likes my singing at times.

But.... he tells me continuously that music is ruining my life, that I spend WAY too much time with my karaoke or instruments..... he'll scream about my truck radio & say "Can't you EVER do ANYTHING without music playing". He has said some pretty cruel things too, like "I'm not as good as I must think I am". He HATES me being here, which is why I never am anymore. Since I'm working, he's home when I am and I just can't stand the critisism about singing & sharing music that I have to hear.  So I get on here in bits and pieces- mostly when he's in the garage like now. He tells me I'm not a good mother, because I sing when I should be paying attention to him & the kids..... and  that he wishes something would come about that I would lose my computer & all my karaoke & instruments so I couldn't do it.  He tells me it's not like I'd ever "go anywhere" with my music. He finally bit**ed enough about me being in fiddling contest that I quit.

jvj & syber........ NHOH & Old Paint..... I envy you all. I don't WANT a hubby who sings necesarrily, it's just tough to have the person you're married try to take away the only thing that you sometimes feel you have in life. And don't get me wrong- I have a huge & loving family, and my kids love to her my original songs & to sing with me. I have four beautiful, loving, decent kids who are my life. And...they sing too and are learning instruments. But... sometimes it's his approval I'd most like to have. So you all are very very lucky to have what you do, the support in doing something you love so much.  It can tear your heart out when it's the oppostie way. Makes for some decent song writing- but who wants their life to be a big sappy love-gone-wrong story?

Cherish it- those of you who have that together. It's really no fun being on the flip side.

And don't go thinking I'm a softie- cause I'm not. I still go karaoke...... I just tell him he can "go or stay behind"........, he goes.

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

Sorry to hear that Blue--- sometimes the people were closest to can be the most cruel. Don't give up on your music- it really is thereapeutic and a great way to spread joy. I have the same problem with family members (see my previous ranting), but part of that negative response pushes me even harder to keep trying to improve-- maybe too hard- I am now dealing with so many personal demons right now that sometimes I wish that I could just end it all (but I won't).

That sucks Charmin. NOBODY has the right to make you stop chasing your dreams.

But Carol was in many ways the same thing. She supported the IDEA behind my karaoke, but didn't like the reality of it.

Charmin... wow girl... I know what you are going through but not to that extreme..

I called my hubby a "fun hater" in another place not too long ago.. and it's true.. BUT only if it is something I find fun to do.. then it's ruin it for me time..

My hubby seems more proud of my previously being a travel agent than anything. I'm always his "little travel agent" and when I ask what he thinks about a song the best I'll get is "didn't sound bad for a short girl"  :shock: even when people will come up to me in a contest and tell me they loved it, etc.. he still is just "it was ok".. but I guess that's something..

I'm lucky tho.. he's out of the house most of the time.. so I can do my karaoke stuff and he can't really say much about it. He has not heard 90% of the songs I've recorded simply because he doesn't ask and I've stopped telling. I used to watch tv a lot.. now I simply traded tv for my computer..

and yet your hubby brags about you to his friends and stuff.... He likes control of you.. You need to have your creative outlet and you are much too talented to throw that all away.. when you are on the computer he loses that control.. but in front of his friends he still has it.

Even if it is just something you do for "fun".  I hope you will never let him have the last say in your music hon... cuz you are EXTREMELY talented..  :hug:  :hug:

Wow, everyone... It's really been interesting to read your input on this subject.  I've been reading each post, and it's intriguing to me to learn what others are like in their relationships.

I found it really sad that some of your spouses (particularly Charmin's and Cindy's) disapprove of your interest, be it here at KS, karaoke or just music in general.  It would be really disheartening for me to be married to or heavily involved with someone who treated me badly because of my "hobby."  I honestly don't think I could remain with someone like that.  I have never been married and don't have any kids but am close to my immediate family so I can't relate to those of you with spouses and kids, etc.  But while my interest in music (karaoke, singing, etc.) is purely for my own entertainment and I'm not out there pushing myself to get some sort of a recording deal or anything like that, it is VERY important to me that the person I am involved with is either interested in it as well or at least supportive of my need for it.  And yes, it is a NEED for me.  

I NEED to sing; in my car, at home, my shower, etc.  Karaoke for me is a weekend thing for the most part.  Rarely do I participate in it on the weekdays.  But I crave that whole social interaction thing.  I like to hear others sing and love to hear the diverse variety of song choices just as much as I enjoy my turn on the stage.  It's not as fun for me to go to some place that's pretty much dead with maybe only a handful of singers.  Most of the people I know/associate with are pretty supportive of one another.  This is a plus.

As for my relationships (past and present)... I didn't start getting really interested in karaoke/singing until early 2000.  When I was much younger, one of my significant others used to beg and plead with me to sing.  I refused.  This person would tell others "Oh, you should hear Deb sing... blah blah blah."  and I always felt put on the spot and embarrassed.  To this day, that person has NEVER heard me sing publicly.  They used to sit outside the shower door and listen to me, or turn the stereo down to hear me when I would sing along.  I never thought of that as a good thing until many years later.  That relationship ended, we went our separate ways and haven't seen each other in a long time.  It would amaze them now to see me at karaoke.  They wouldn't believe their eyes.

After that relationship, I dated a number of people who either liked me to sing or told me to shut up.  It was hit or miss.  When I moved to Michigan, I became involved with someone who knew I loved to sing, but never encouraged me to until someone's funeral.  I was still too shy to do so.  I had been to karaoke a few times before we got involved, but he never wanted to go and never offered to take me.  So I sang on a little karaoke machine in private at home whenever he was not around and never let him know what I was doing.  And I didn't have a lot of backings to choose from back then so I didn't sing that often.

When I moved back to Missouri, I met someone whom was also interested in karaoke (which is how we met.)  We started going regularly on the weekends, became involved and kept the karaoke a big part of our relationship.  Since we were both interested in it, it was both a blessing and a curse.  We often sang duets together if we practiced them in advance.  After a while, though, it seemed like we became somewhat competitive with one another whether we meant to or not and karaoke started to feel more like a chore than enjoyment.  I started learning how to record on my computer, and he encouraged me to submit, etc.  This was good, yet there were times when I think it got on his nerves that I was allowing myself to be so interested in it.  I got kind of addicted to it there for a while.  After our relationship ended (for reasons other than karaoke) we both still go to the same places for karaoke with other people and see one another there on occasion.  We still encourage one another in a small way by suggesting songs for the other to sing, finding backings, etc.

I've backed off the obsession with karaoke considerably so it is no longer the main topic of discussion as it used to be for me for a while.  I hear a lot of people are like that when they first discover something they truly enjoy.  My personality is like that for a lot of things.  I'm sucked in at first, and then I get bored.

My family (both immediate and extended) have always been supportive of my singing.  My whole family knows that I love to sing, and everyone encourages me.  Occasionally I'll have an extended member of the family ask me when I'm going to send them a CD or when I'm coming around to go out to karaoke with them.  It's kind of neat.  I'm lucky in that way.

Well, this ended up being longer than I expected... thanks to everyone who offered their input.  It's really been interesting reading for me.

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