Karaoke Forums

Okay......I just went to an xmas recital, and had a thought while I was sitting there listening to this one poor girl that could not sing a lick...

Okay....well, gilly's post was basically about bad singers and how they not know they are bad. or why does someone not tell them that they are bad....especially family or friends.

So, my question now is this:

We will call the Adult Betsy, and the child Emma.

So, Emma decides she wants to sing and take lessons while she is, lets say 14 years old, as she has always liked singing with the radio....Betsy is thrilled! She takes Emma to her lessons, and it turns out that Emma is not the best singer in the world. In fact, she can not stay on pitch at all.

So, Betsy keeps taking Emma to the lessons, knowing that she will probably get better, seeing as it was only the first lesson.

During the lessons that come,Emma tells Betsy how excited she is about singing, and how she wants to become a singer....but never ever improves.

There comes time for a recital...and she goes up and sings terrible....in fact, you see some people snikering in the audience, some people hanging their heads in pity for the poor girl that can't carry a tune.....and remember....all this time Emma is saying how much she loves to sing.

Now, What do you do? Do you tell your kid that they are an awful singer? Do you keep them in lessons? Do you allow them to sing in public?

I never thought of it going the other way. I don't think that I would ever have the heart to tell my child (when I have one) they are horrible at anything. They are the people you look up to, aspire to.....

So, what does anyone else think?

Here's your answer....Macy Gray.....Bob Dillion.....u continue to let that child practice and find her niche anything is possible.



Ronda

well, ask me:) i will tell you.



I easily tell my husband that is horrible.. but when it comes right down to it, and he sings to ME, i love it.


My parents always told ME the truth, and I plan to do the same for my daughter.

The reason my parents started, is a funny story....

My little sister, was a HORRIBLE little artist.. i mean.. like, BAD... and i am, well me. I am not amazing... NOW, but, I am exactly the same as I was when I was a little kid. So, I was really good back THEn. (does this make sense?) I am a year older, than her. Ok, so, anyways, sheena and i would draw pictures, and then, take them to my mom, and hold them up and say "Mommy! what do you think?!" And she would say "wonderful, girls", and we would say "which one do you like better", and she would always say that she liked sheenas better (while winking at me) But, it ALWAYS peeved me off... and sheena NEVEr clued in. So, one day, I made sheena draw her pic, and trade with ME, and then, we held the pictures up, and went through thr routine, mom paying alot of attention to sheenas, and telling her how good it was, and asking me what the hell happened. Lol. Sheena BAWLED her head off, when she clued in that my mother had been lying to her.

to this day, we ALL still remember the incident.


And, stuff like that never happened again. My parents actually don't care for my singing, and have told me many a time. (lol, close the damn door when you wail!)




So, back to you, I think i could easily tell my daugher, HOWEVER, i would encourage her to continue, if it was something she enjoyed. Why not? Heck, it might be the new... IN style? i mean, i have a pretty odd voice, and lots of ya HATE it.. admit it!

(you have just brought up ONE of my biggest fears ya know.. .that skylah will be a wretched musician, and be tone deaf. )



ok.... i know, that was REALLY babbling, but it is late here.


(and, you KNEW i would be honest to my kid.... but, i think i say things differently, and not in a way that... hurt....as much.... if that makes sense?)



I like when even JUSTY is honest with me and is like... "maybe you shouldn't sing tonight", or "you aren't going to POST that, are you?"



Sorry.

I did'nt say lie I'm brutally honest with my 4 children. But all of them are showing that they have a passion for something and only my teenager is reall good at hers I think you should encourage them to he at the things that they are very passionate about....by the way only my 4-year old love singing like I do!! ! I may submit her once

Ronda

My parents always have always told me they like my singing. My dad thinks I have an excellent voice, but I think he's just bias. However, there have been times when I have messed up royally that they've heard, and they told me I hit a bad note or that it wasn't my best. I would rather hear that then to have them pump me full of lies. I am probably the worst critic of my voice though. I hear EVERYTHING I don't like, therefore when someone says it sounded great, I'm thinking, ok... but didn't you hear those other notes? EEEEK.

_________________

Okay... I don't know how many of ya'll have ever been made fun of... I vividly remember being made fun of all through elementary school, way up to high school. I was not popular, I did not have friends... and it wasn't because I put myself out there for ridicule, it was because my family was poor and so we didn't have very nice clothes to wear to school (I had a lot of brothers and sisters). That hurts when you're young. It stays with you, and those comments can run through your head as you get older, and try new things. And I think as I was growing up, my mother did encourage me to try new things, such as singing, dancing, instruments, etc. but she didn't push me into anything. She let me take the lead. For instance, this to me is a parallel situation. I went through a faze when I turned 15 that involved super tight clothes and lots and lots and (did I mention) lots of make-up. Now, I was a chunky girl! And honestly, had my mother done her usual deal and let me go through my faze my way, I would have dealt with a lot of teasing (people already commented on my weight w/o the tight clothes). Instead, she gently helped me to understand that different people have different body shapes than what is seen on tv, magazines, etc. and that it's okay to wear clothes that fit your specific needs. The same thing with talents and children. Everyone has their own talent, be it singing, dancing, writing, or helping people, etc. I know my boyfriend is super talented at getting people to open up about themselves within, like, the first five minutes of knowing them. That's something I could never do, and it's his talent, and he embraces it. So to sum everything up, basically I would think that instead of having your child ONLY be involved in an activity that displays maybe their not so great qualities, a parent should be there to introduce their child to the other options in life, and help them discover their own hidden talents that they can successfully pursue.

my son matthew he's 11....now since the age of 4 if anyone ever asks him what he wanted to do when he is older, his answer....be a rock guitarist.

I have always always even from such a young age said well matthew mommy would love for you to be a guitarist in a famous rock band....but this may not ever happen....there is no harm you learning the guitar and mastering it, but in many cases it's luck....as he has got older ive explained just how cut throat show buisness can be.

He has his electric guitar and amp ...and yes drives me scatty as he is learning but the constant saying to him your dream of being a famous guitarist like van halen, hendrix and gary moore (who are his idols) may never come true...your education is important and i am sure while you learn the guitar there may be other things you would be interested in doing.

as i said he's 11 now and you say to him now...son what do you want to do when you leave school...his answer .. mom i would like to go to college and university if i can, i want to do something using science, but i still wanna be a great guitarist mom and i am gonna keep practicing!....phewwww i think!

i am using this as an example...the voice is an instrument ... the guitar his instrument but still the same cut throat industry

yes i encourage him with his guitar, but i also tell him the realities...i am not breaking his dream by telling him how it is ive given him other options and have opened his mind....working with science is a far more reachable goal than being the next hendrix...i wont ever stop him trying and encourage him whole heatedly...but i keep it real.

hope i havent gone too much off the subject...it was just my little swing on the thread.

I tell my kids chose 2 goals one that's a sure shot ( like my fifteen year olds dream to be an obstetrician) and a more difficult one ( her dream to be a novelist/playright) this way you won't raise an unfulfilled person.

Wow!

You guys all brought up some really interesting points!

The only reason why I was asking is because at the recital I was at...there was this one poor poor girl that was tone deaf beyond belief.

If you were to walk into the show, you probably would have thought she was up there doing a comedy routine, or karaoke gone bad.

I felt so horrible for her...because it was truly a mess.

Now....it looked like she had some really close friends, and maybe her parents were there too....so, why don't they ever tell her she is that bad, or at least somehow let her know in an easy/nice way?

Perhaps maybe when they are that tone deaf....no one cares....they just give them an "E" for effort, and then forget all about it. Maybe they don't want to tear their dreams down.....I don't know....I just felt awful for her

Anyway..thanks all for your wonderful insights

First, I was trying not to cringe, as I was in the front row ....2nd...I had to follow that bad performance, which made me feel even worse.

I would rather follow someone 10 times better than me than someone 10 times worse than me anyday