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Now back on topic......

It's the Christmas season, and this Avon lady is working a high rise, and man, she is gung ho on that Avon. She's on the elevator, between floors, and she gets this terrible gas pain. Man, she rips one off, that'd bring tears to your eyes.....like wow, it was actually causing the paint to peel off the walls. So she whips out this aerosol can of pine scent, and she starts a-spraying it everywhere. She tucks it back in her bag, and just then.....Ding!....the elevator door opens up, and this little ol' drunk guy gets on, the door closes, and he's a-sniffin'......sniiiiiiiiiiiiiifff..........sniiiiiiiiiiff.....sniff, sniff, sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiifff, and he blurts out....."what the,,,,,,what the heeeee..........what the heeeeeellllllllllll is that ....I smelllllllll!!!!!!!".......man, she's so proud of that Avon, sticking out her chest like a rooster, she tells the guy........" well you tell me mister, what does it smell like to you????"....drunk guy exclaims..."sme....sme,,,,,,,smells like , smells like somebody SH!T a Christmas Tree.......".......

That Johnny don't get NO respect  <rimshot>

_________________
Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

About the only thing this has in common with the seaon is the birth of J.C.   But it's quite amuzing all the same!

Dr Mark MacDonald tells the worldwide web of his funniest moment in medicine: "A man comes into the ER and yells, 'My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - and I was in the wrong one."

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It's Christmas, Eve !

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Kelley
Star Sounds Karaoke & Mobile Recording Studio


[shadow=black][scroll]You have to respect your audience. Without them, you're essentially standing alone, singing to yourself....KD Lang[/scroll][/shadow]

I just remember the one where God says he'll never be able to get that smell off those fish........

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint
Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said,"You must each
possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter.
He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said.

"You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of
keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."

Saint Pete r said "You may pass through t he pearly gates".

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets
and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the

man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "These are Carols."

And So The Christmas Season Begins......