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Seems like everyday there is a news story about another town passing another law saying that "Registered sex offenders"  can't go here can't go there. The latest I saw today was a school that is now scanning every person's driver's license when they come into the school looking for "Registered Sex offenders".  

Keep in mind. I am NOT a "Registered sex offender"  No... do I know anyone who is.

However, I can see some instances where you would be a"Registered sex offender" and not a child predator.

A scenario for you to ponder:  

You are a young male, you are at a party, you have consensual sex with a girl.  You later find out she is only 16. He parents find out and the parents then press charges for Statutory rape.  This is still Rape, to the parents, and it doesn't matter what the girl says because she is a minor. Nevermind the fact that she lied about her age. Nevermind that she consented to the sex act.  Forget the fact that this girl may be a slut and her parents just happened to find out about this one.  

Let's fast forward... So this 18 or 19 year old boy gets convicted of rape. He is now a "Registered sex offender". For the rest of his life he cannot go to most parks, malls, schools, churches. (Most ordinances are reading 1000 feet from all of these places or where children congregate).  This also means that he cannot live in most neighborhoods.

So tell me what happens to this kid. the only place he can really live is a hotel, which will probably be sleezy because that is all he can afford ( can you afford to live at the Marriott or the Holiday Inn??).  What happens when this man gets married and has a family of his own?  How is he supposed to go meet with his kids teachers?  How is he supposed to go see his kid in the school play or in a football game or a choir concert?  Are they going to make a special concession for this parent and not hold the event at the school. Will the parent teacher conferences be moved off campus?  As a parent he should have the right to see his child's school and meet the teachers and such just like everyone else.

What happens when all of the cities all over the country pass these ordinances?  Where will these people go?  Do we create towns and send them all to "Sexville" to live?  Like leper colonies? Is that the right thing to do?

I feel like there should be a difference in "Registered sex offenders". I think that criminals are able to be rehabilitated. And I do people people can change.. However, the ones that are blatant petafiles ( I can't even figure out how to spell it) should be labeled one way. The ones who were violent offenders another way. And the ones such as the example above who were in the wrong place at the wrong time should be labeled different too.  And no one can tell me that a 40 yr old man than molests a 6 yr old child is going to be able to be rehabilitated.  Because once that age they have prolly been a predator all of their life.   And yes, they should be restricted from children.

I don't know what I am looking for here. It just seems like grouping them all together with the same label is not right.   Just looking for other opinions to see if I am just crazy or if there are others out there that feel the same way.

Oh.. And please don't attack me...I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and adult violent rape. So I know what it is like, so please don't say that I haven't been in the victims shoes.

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Will sing or fish for food!!I'm not quite right!!

No one should attack you, you are 100% right!  It is sad, but our justice system ain't perfect.  And it is hard to change laws like the one you are talking about for the same reason you are scared of being "attacked".  Everyone HAS to feel perfectly safe from all and any harm, so we cause harm in different ways to ourselves and others in the form of laws and restrictions.  How about the increasing invasion of our privacy so we can all feel "free" from attacks?  I'd rather the risk of attack be higher than lose a large amount of my freedom.  There are many issues similar to the one you brought up and the one I just mentioned that are all in one broad catagory: taking our freedom away in the name of other important issues.  It may be warrented in some cases, but I don't usually like it.

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[glow=red]Yo sucka, we need this hea CHOPTER, and we need it now![/glow]

In a few states 16 is legal. Pretty sure in most states, there must be a four year or so age difference to really get in trouble. Most of the time, lawmakers draw the line where they feel comfortable. Laws aren't always fair, but they're the law, and I don't see a whole lot of people pushing your feelings on this one, and trying to change it. I do agree with you, but unless it affects them, people just don't care. To top that off, there can be 90 percent of the nation against something, and lawmakers still pass it.....and then vote them bass turds back in office again.......life isn't logical......Sharon, you are such a caring person, and I'm proud to know you, but maybe you're too caring.....believe it or not, I get that way sometimes....usually ends up causing me grief......

It's not just statutory rape.  Might be date rape as well.  A guy picks up a girl at a bar, she's drunk, he's drunk. Following morning she says "She said no".  The guys on Megan's List.  Now in the day I was into the one-night stuff Date rape, AIDS, and a lot of todays issues weren't in existence.  I'm so glad I was a wanton ho when I was.  Now I like to dim the lights, put on "The Greatest Love of All",  and do it !

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

People have to be more cautious today of others behaviour now-adays. Whatever the reason is, things have changed over the course of the past 40-50 years tremendously.  Can't hitch safely anymore regardless of your age or gender, more at risk today to be a victim of random violence.. But yeah,  the legal system is FAR from perfect, that's for certain..  Look at the recent hypervigiliance to DUI that took place in your location Sharon.  Busting people in hotel bars if they APPEARED to be intoxicated ?  What the F type of system is that in our nation ?

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

I completely agree with you, Isis.  Things are not always black and white.   Unfortunately, the laws are often written so there is no way to deal with them except in terms of black and white.

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"I hold the key to an open door....will I ever be free...?"

I agree Sharon.... I know someone VERY well who actually had this happen. He was in his early 20's, girl lied and said she was 18. He did find out later that she was 16 going on 17, but the mom was cool with it (really liked him too) so they continued dating. She even let her go on a weekend trip with him over the border into Washington. (stupid thing to do on HIS part) Here in Oregon, it CAN be considered "consentual" if there's less than a 3 year age difference.

When he broke up with her, that is exactly what happened. She was in tears, her mom was upset, and she turned him in. He admitted to the judge that he had had a sexual relationship with her, and he is now a "registered sex offender" and had to go through counseling, and pass a lie detector test to retain custody of his 6 year old daughter. (custody was awarded to his mother until then, and he was not to be allowed visitation with her)

The worst thing is though, he is now on the "registered sex offender" list, listed just the same as the ones who molested multiple small children, and has all the same restrictions. There needs to be some definition there, cause the different types of "sex offenders" are VERY different. He's a good guy, just made a stupid mistake and the stupid choice to keep dating her... and he'll pay for that, rather unfairly, for the rest of his life.

.

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

See!! I knew there were others out there like this....  Poor guy...What ever happened to doing your time for your crime and being done with it.  What if there was a DUI database and anywhere you went you had to be scanned and such.. There is not. Yet repeat offenders kill people and then get to plead no contest or get manslaughter and serve 2 years for murder!!!! and then they continue on with their lives like nothing happened.  What if you were not allowed to be anywhere near where alcohol is sold or consumed because you were a "Registered DUI Killer".  

I feel for your friend. I hope he is not in Texas cause it is getting hard for people in his situation to find places to live and know he wouldn't even be able to go to his daughters school....

arrrg!!!!

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Will sing or fish for food!!I'm not quite right!!

god that kinda crap is sad, ouch. poor dude.

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[glow=red]Yo sucka, we need this hea CHOPTER, and we need it now![/glow]

My friend's kid arranged to meet a 15 year old girl for sex via the internet....he was 23. Turned out to be a cyber watch person, and he got convicted of intent to have sex with a minor. Now I feel this behavior was horrible, but he got an 8 year sentence, and I think he has to serve almost all of it. He never was in trouble before, and yes he will have to register as a sex offender when he gets out, but there never was a 15 year old girl, and he never actually did the deed. The average murderer does 6 or 7 years. He's done 3 so far....like I said, I find what he did deplorable.....but crimes need to be in proportion to the time you serve...or visa versa, rather

I hate to get started on this!!!

This is the most corrupt greedy and unforgiving society that ever walked The law makers are social engineers and passing laws out of emotion or greed.

Google american prison population From the wiki

The United States has among the highest incarceration rates in the world. More people are behind bars in the United States than any other country. As of 2006, a record 7 million people were behind bars, on probation or on parole. Of the total, 2.2 million were incarcerated. The People's Republic of China ranks second with 1.5 million. The United States has 5% of the world's population and 25% of the world's incarcerated population.[1]

Even political majors and anaylists say they are totally out of touch with reality.

My nephew in his young marriage was having some problems By the time his meddling motherinlaw and the judial sytem got done they totally ruined 2 prople took the daughter away and at one time the court was begging either one of them to take her back. She recently done 5 years in the pen for drugs.

My pet peeve is the system hauling off a screaming kid from their mother. I never knew my real dad... The scary part is most adults now think this is normal//

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well, in the case of your friend going after a 15 year old girl, I have NO qualms about laying down a serious smackdown of both physical and emotional grief on that fool.

He was attempting a CRIME! Jesus Christ in a sidecar, the poor girl needs to be able to GRADUATE. 15 is usually 9th or 10th GRADE for Christ's sake!! He is a PREDATOR... a 23 yr old shouldn't be going after a 15 year old! sheesh! 18 I can see...

Now, having said that, I personally feel the cyber watch guy ... that whole thing is entrapment. BUT they gotta get those kinda guys and gals off the net... I know I worry about some of my cousins and even my neice when she was that young... dealing with folks on the net that could be predators.

And yes, there needs to be a national awakening to reclarify what a sexual predator is... certainly not one like ISIS was talking about.

My neice was seeing a kid in my old apartment complex. He was 19, she was 11 or 12... fortunately, they weren't having sex... but when I went over and confronted him about it, I warned him that I and my brother didn't take kindly to the age difference AT THIS TIME in her life. He admitted he wanted to date her, but knew her age was just too young, and was placating her when she came over... in fact, he'd been trying to tell her to listen to her dad and go back home. (she'd run away).

There are good people out there, and this kid was one of 'em. I don't agree with all his motives, but he's a KID! AND was trying to do the right thing.

The problem can be the fact that many of these young gals can be quite promiscuous (sp?)... My ex's niece at 14 was always coming up and hugging me and stuff, in a way that made me feel very uncomfortable. IN her case, it was she just was lonely and wanted a father figure... but she was showing her affection in a way that was very confusing and conflicting... as a male, I was VERY uneasy with it, and asked Carol to speak with her about how young women should be with their male friends...

You totally missed my point, Matt......he got 8 years, which he will serve almost all of, for attempting to do something, that didn't even exist, while a cold blooded killer can walk away after serving six or seven years......I agreed, he is a scumbag, but penalties must be in proportion to the crime. You got no bleeding heart here, buddy....I believe in comming down hard on crime, and I'd like to have the job of throwing the switch on rapists, and cold blooded killers......there was no sympathy for that f@@#er in my post....don't read any into it......I do feel sorry for his parents though....they got divorced over this.......

I don't think I missed it at all.

I DO feel our justice system is inadequate when it comes to murderers and rapists, but think about it for a moment... when you go after a teen, barely more than a child, no matter what physical attributes they have, you are destroying an innocence. THAT was MY point.

Let the kids grow up and after they turn 18-21, do what you want as long as it's within the legal boundary of the law. That ruling exists for a reason... kids shouldn't have to make those kind of decisions, and if they are before they're 16, usually it's not with all the faculties of an adult, or a YOUNG adult.

Don't get me wrong... I've seen some very adult looking young teens... but they haven't matured enough as an adult MENTALLY and spiritually... that's all I'm saying.

Persnally, a murderer should be killed... but that's me!

Sharon, I couldn't agree with you more.

In my first post, I used the words, horrible, and deplorable to describe the son's behavior....just want to make sure you know I have no sympathy for him.
In some countries, 11 or 12 is marrying material for them....they come to our country, and they bring their beliefs with them, as our population changes, polititions will agree with them to get their votes. How bout those Mormons? They think their religious beliefs allow them to raise wives....yes 14 or 15 is about right to them......and there are stupid people in this country, that think that falls under freedom of religion......I don't see them going to jail.....My wife and I raised three daughters......no one would come down on these M@#$%Fers harder......all I can do is bytch.....my vote doesn't mean sh!t......I do like the way you think, though....

we're both on the same side m'man!

As for the immigrants, yeah, that's a problem, but they have to abide by OUR laws, not theirs.... the same as if we were in THEIR country. That's part of the responsibilities of being a resident or a visitor of any given country...

If you look at other countries.. they do not have the percentage of people in jails that the US does. I believe it to be that our country does not match the crime with the punishment. In some countries, when you steal something they chop off your hands or fingers. If you kill someone they kill you. If you rape someone you are castrated.   WOW!!!  <extreme sarcasm> I wonder why their crime rates and jail counts are so slow??

The  US needs to get back to the basics. But that will never happen do to all the people out there that say that cutting ones fingers or hands off for stealing is cruel and unusual punishment. I think the punishment fits the crime. But that is my opinion. Maybe the countries that are still doing this are barbaric to some, but you know they have low crime rates.  I'll bet if we ask Jian about the crime in his village, he would prolly say it is close to non existent.

All this free thinking and lack of respect for parents and people with authority. The moral decline of our society has caused a lot of this.

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Will sing or fish for food!!I'm not quite right!!

I've just read your opening post Sharon as I am short on time. About to head out to west Tx for some annual family dove hunting.

You have some good points though. It does seem a bit unduly harsh, and not fair based on all the different levels of violations. For instance, as I understand it if someone is outside in a pseudo public place (typically a guy), and takes a leak (urinates) and a cop sees them and they are convicted I believe this is considered a sexual type violation and would land them on the same list with all sorts of other predators. This kind of bugs me, because as guys often out in the woods we just go when we need to. Granted you shouldn't do this anywhere and you should attempt to hide so others don't notice, but I can remember back in college after drinking a bunch (alcohol makes you go) before heading to a club on 6th Street in Austin, after getting out of the vehicle in a parking lot that was dark and taking a 'whiz' behind a dumpster. Even though every attempt was made to be private if a cop had caught me I believe the law would then consider me a sex offender. That I think is just stupid.

The other thing I'd add here is it seems are society is more concerned with sex acts than it is with murder and violence. I don't think there is a registration for murderers is there?

I think likely some distinction needs to be made based on violent crime, and unfortunately as you mention in your example life is not always fair. While a law may work in most cases, there will always be those that suffer unjustly. I guess that's why as people we have to treat others as people and be gracious. We aren't all given the same start in life.

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The Truth Is Out There

I thought it was ten years ?  Haven't followed this..




Matt,  the problem I have is that when I was in my early early 20's,  many mid-early teens of 14 and 15 years of age (girls) lied about their age, you could NOT tell looking at them or by talking to them that they weren't "just 17 and lying to get into an establishment (as they'd often say to hit on a guy)". In those days getting into party setting with alcohol was still 18, but how many waited til 18 ?  Most had fake ID's, and lied if younger...Things were more lax in those days and in college settings keg parties and alcohol and drugs were ALWAYS prevalent and "lying about age" was VERY common among minor females).

I hated hearing the line somewhat later, "Would you hate me if I told you that I'm really only 15?"  Some of these 15 year olds do not look 15 even to a 21 year old male..  I never asked a female for three forms of I.D, one with a Photo before getting in bed, who did ?  What would that even accomplish, they HAD fake ID's, or weren't carded.

Now,  assume afterwards,  a girl freaks, or get's in trouble and lies denying she ever stated she's NOT under the age of consent saying, "I never told him my age" ? Or, "OF course he knew".. Often times she was drunk..and not because I gave her alcohol either, I wasn't the one "Corrupting the morals of a minor" (at least knowingly)  The guy still gets nailed..  I had a few probs when I was in College during summer-school programs when the girls that were enrolled for "dance" programs said they were 17 and often were not.  Point being, Often times it's the younger girls that are no angel and the onus even in the 70's fell on the "adult", often who WAS lied to regarding age, Often it was the minor girl that "Had a wicked crush on a guy", and during the time did what ever she could to be in a certain situation knowingly.  I was in my late teens and early twenties (as were many of us)and several times got into a situation where I VERY easily could've gotten busted for stat rape... Scared the xit out've me too. BUT,  I DID always ask the girls age beforehand once I realized that "16 can get me 20", still, Girls DO lie at times, but that wouldn't have mattered.. A few times it wasn't actually the minor girl that told me her TRUE age..  It was another male,  or her female friend..  One time it was even her uncle (Another guitarist).  

Btw...  Is 16 too young for a horny 51 year old guy ?    I'm not inquiring for me of course,  it's this neighbor of mine..  He doesn't get any either .. 17, 22 I can't tell the difference by looking anymore.. Of course I can't get into trouble even if I try anymore.. They run and roll up the car windows and lock the doors at ALL ages now !!!

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".