Karaoke Forums

I would respond....

But uh, I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't.  :D

One question tho... WHY in the heck would you read a box of tampons?  :no:

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

silly girl/// .......look at all the things you can do with them.....it says so right on the box.......uh oh.. ...you're not referring to that hermorphadite thing....are ya?... ...either way....we both love ya.....

Here's a new joke
http://www.livevideo.com/video/5B50AB47 ... iving.aspx

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding their horses hard across the desert.
They finally make it to town and the horses are all hot and sweaty and panting for air.
The Lone Ranger says hey Tonto, I can't leave Silver in this condition I need you to cool him off. Tonto says How can I do that keemosabe?
The Lone Ranger says Tonto you run like the wind in a circle aroung Silver until he cools down. I am going to the saloon and have a rootbeer.
About 45 minutes or so later a cowboy walks into the saloon and says Hey masked stranger is that your big white horse outside?
with much pride the Lone Ranger says Yes it is.
The cowboy said well I thought you oughta know you left your injun running.

Blue

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The main difference between monkeys and man..............
Thumbs

Three handsome male dogs are playing cards at the doggy country club. In walks a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.

The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.



Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me."

The sturdy, muscular, older Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese."



"Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever."

She turns to the macho, snarling bull dog and says "How well can you do?"


"Um. I HATE liver and cheese," he snorts.


"My, my," said the Poodle. "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the Lab's sentence."

She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "How about you, little guy?"

The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse.



He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Bull dog and the Lab and says.


Liver alone, cheese mine!

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:___________________________

I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:

Date:___________

Time of departure:____________

Time of return:_____________

NOT to exceed:_______________

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancé/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.

Amount of alcohol allowed (units):
Beer_____
Wine_____
Liquor_____
Total_____

Locations to be visited_________________________

Females with whom conversation is permitted_______________________

IMPORTANT – STRIPPER CLAUSE: Not withstanding the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.
I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you on an unlimited shopping spree, should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.
I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct.

Signed -

Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:___________________________

Request is: APPROVED DENIED
This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following period of time:____________________

Date:____________________

Time of departure:_____________________

Time of return:_____________________

Location:_____________ From:_________ To:________

            _____________ From:_________ To:________

            _____________ From:_________ To:________


Signed – Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife:_________________________

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE GIRLS

Name of Girlfriend/Fiancé/Partner/Wife:____________________________

I’m going out. Don't wait up.


Signed: (me) _____________________________

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

omg  

i was going to print those out but thot what for?  i believe in 'whither thou goest, i shall go'....

She is in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.

He walks in.

She turns and says, "You've got to make love to me this very moment."

His eyes light up and he thinks, "This is my lucky day." Not wanting to

lose the moment, he embraces her and then gives it his all on the

kitchen table.

Afterwards she says, "Thanks," and returns to the stove.

More than a little puzzled, he asks, "What was that all about?"
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She explains, "The egg timer's broken

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Will sing or fish for food!!I'm not quite right!!