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This is a bit long but I hope you guys take the time to read my apolgy to Joyce.

Folks... seems I may have hurt someone's feelings on SS and wanted her and everybody here to know that was not my intentions.
I can only hope this one comment I made was not taken by others in a way that it wasn't intended.  I only meant good things.

Below you'll find my post followed by here reply.  Then just after that you'll find my aplogy and explanation of what I really meant.  I hope you guys find it in your hearts to understand.

Song Comment by IRBent:
Needin' a job R U? I might be able to hook ya up shovelin' poo. Seriously, that's about what I do every day and it pays purdy darn good. Now that we got that $hit out of the way.. Showcasing some talent are we today? Great movie... it's a shame Bond didn't come help ya out. If you're gonna be out for a while, who'll post these tunes?
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Reply: You can post them IR. One less experience time waster I need is to read comments by adults behaving badly, disrespectiing each other because they're in denial of their own insecurities. It's easy to attack others behind a keyboard isn't it or be resentful because someone feels good about what they sing? Thank you for showing your true self.

My Private Message Aplogy to Joyce.
Joyce,

 I just got a PM from another user here who was blowing her top on a comment I made about one of your songs.  I went back to read it and your reply to my comment.  I'm afraid the meaning of my words didn't come across too well.  So I'll try to explain myself in hopes you may forgive me if you too misunderstood what I really meant.

You had made a comment in your post descript about looking for a job.  I was serious, but not ot the point I could really give you a job.  As my Commission has placed us under a 1 yr hiring freeze to save money.  I do work in a place where we shovel poo.. and it's a great job.


The comment I made about Bond helping you.  I meant he's typically described as an attractive and desired kinda guy.  I meant it was a shame he didn't come help you in a sexual nature.  Kinda like thanks for such a great song.

I never meant for a second your singing sounded like poo if that's the way you took it.  I manage the largest wastewater facility in my State and poo is a good thing for me.  We joke that it smells like money to us.  My job pays me what I'd think is twice or more than the average salary in my area.  My workers make a good honest decent living at it as well.  Our job is well respected as we save the environment by reclaiming what you flush down your sink and potty.

My last comment was... if you don't post these tunes, who will?  I meant that as a compliment.

I'm so sorry if I made you mad.  That was never my intention.  I'm not the negative type and do not like conflict.  I am so sincerely sorry if I hurt you Joyce.  It was never my intentions.  I hope you can find it in your heart to understand I was only hoping to flatter you but my words obviously weren't in a manner to get that across to you and others.

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IRBent, but not broken!

two things
1. I read the comment and hadnt taken it as anything but a quirky compliment in fact I had made comment on your quirky comments on a sub of yours
2. Insecurities run rampant here as in real life. You too are exhibiting them if you feel the need for validation by posting this here.

Take it on the chin man> You hit a nerve whether intentional or not, you have been man enough to apologise, I believe that says a lot about you and your character...dont ruin it by whining like a child publicly about it.

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

I didn't read the original post over on SS, but in your post here.. I would have been offened for sure....but I don't really know you and your personality....From some on this site I would have been laughing my but off...Others not...

That being said, I too think it takes a very big person to admit their mistakes and make a public apology...Good for you....

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Will sing or fish for food!!I'm not quite right!!

 :wave: Sharon xxx

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

just off to spend the day with my mum hugs folks

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

The only reason I posted my public apology was to let her know I was truly sorry.  If I didn't care about hurting her, I would have tried to keep this whole thing hidden.  The other reason was in case I may have given others the wrong impression about me in my comment to her.  I was always taught that if I didn't have nothing good to say, then don't say anything at all.  My comment was meant to be good.  But apparently a few took it to mean something I did not intend.  For that I am truly sorry.

I'm glad you saw the near humor in it from the start.  Even after I read her reply I honestly didn't take it as her being upset at me, but more so talking about the rant with ListenerX and who ever it was that dedicated the song to him/her.  It wasn't until I received a PM from another user telling me I did wrong that I thought, "what?".  I had to go back and see where I might have caused Joyce grief.

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IRBent, but not broken!

Robby, I think it takes a big man to make a public apology... and you shouldn't have to apologize for making one. What does it matter to other people what you do with your own time... and WHY should it matter? People talk about insecurities... I don't think that a public apology equals insecurity. I think it means that you want it all clarified that you're sincere because the fact is anyone can say a few words in a pm and it doesn't mean a whole lot.
I pulled all my songs off SS... I've just grown tired of the ego battles from people who claim not to have big egos. It's a karaoke site... and last I checked there was no set "standard" that subs had to live up to. We come from different singing skill levels, and mixing skill levels... that's what makes it a "KARAOKE" site right? Sometimes misunderstandings occur in the comment box, all part of the joy of communicating in text. Not all people have the consideration or the sensitivity to clarify when they say something that translates as rude to the other party.
I commend you for your post, and would give you a big hug if I could. Lurves ya  

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Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. (I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.)

Sometimes we write things that if the viewer could have heard how we look and how we say it would have gotten a completely different impression.  In fairness to both you and Joyce, as I read the original comment I could see where some misinterpretation could be had, but conversely, I could also see that nothing mean was really meant! It was just one of those things Bent! We've all scribbled things from time to time that might be somewhat ambiguous although that's never what we intended.  Take care, Michael

i'm scratching my head here trying to figure out what you said in your comment to warrant such a reply....

the only thing i can see that one could take offense to is the comment you made in your explanation 'I meant it was a shame he didn't come help you in a sexual nature.'

....but that wasn't in your comment and if you had've kept your trap shut on that one (and i'm joking here folks 'cos i think he would get that with the humor he has)
you'd have been home free....

....whatever, just keep on being yourself, there's room for everyone here....i've been getting a kick out of your comments on billy's songs and others....you and your wife seem like you'd be a blast to get to know!  you two need to come over and hang out at the off-topic forum....

well i do see where she could have taken it wrong buttttt, i believe and hope she understands how u meant it now....

the sexual comment.....son r u crazy?   ll...i feel like milo on that comment, u were home free... but i do understand how things get so screwed up on here....when dealing with a woman...ll....ok sorry my dog typed that....r was it the parrot, no he's the one singing my songs for me, so it was the dog....kkkkkkkk

Bent don't worry about it, she will understand....Billy

Here we go again, and again and again - I'm probably the most sensitive, fragile, and insecure individual on this site and I would not have been offended.

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Singing just for you

Humor is very subjective.  If you're ever concerned about how a comment will be taken, well maybe it's best to not make that comment in the first place.  When typing out an intended humorous comment or post, toss in the usual , , ha,ha or something to make sure the tone is getting across.  Your original song comment was 'poker faced' and open to interpretation as to it's intent.

Note to self: Hi self, how's it going? Best not use "shovelin' poo" and "$hit" in a song comment unless I'm sure the singer will know what I'm really getting at.

errrrrrrr for the last time no you are not!

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

there was a cliche in radio "when in doubt leave it out"
The program director was forever saying this to me...and I would continue to push boundaries.
Is this why I am no longer in radio? No. I was sick of working with over inflated yet fragile egos, plus my family were suffering from shifting from station to station to assist in climbing the broadcasting ladder. I made the decision to put family first.

Be yourself irbent. But be brave enough to be yourself for better or worse. You might cop some flack but you will ultimately be respected more

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

Thanks to all that have read and posted.  I fully understand both sides.  I'm glad folks can too.  I just hope Joyce reads my thoughts, comments and most importantly my apology as well as knows it's coming from the bottom of my heart.  If I had posted something bad and intended that way I would have been the last to apologize.  Especially in order to save face or with intent of trying to make others like me.  Because when it comes to people liking me...  I don't rightly give a crap.  Remember, I manage a large facility with ~ 70 employees under me and I know it is impossible to make everyone like me.  I am and always will be, myself.  No matter what people think of me.

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IRBent, but not broken!

Well, I think people need to be more responsible for the consequences of their comments.  To me a controversial comment can only earn you respect if it can be proven valid and accurate.

Hello, IR Bent!  First, I would to thank you for what you do; we would all wallow in our own filth without folks like you.  You deserve every $ you make and then some!!!...This is my initial (and hopefully final) foray into the forums.  I try to stay away from controversy.  For me, singing is an expressive outlet.  My husband and I have three special needs sons, and our lives are stressful enough without adding fuel to the fire!  When I first started on SS, I had no recording equipment of my own and had to rely on the kindness of Tony Learner (he used to post here and taught two of Bob's and my sons).  I was only able to submit songs about once a month.  As a result, I listened to folks' subs and observed the interactions of others.  I believe we are ALL sensitive about our singing to one degree or another.  Creativity and sensitivity go hand in hand!  The reasons for singing run the gamut from self expression to the ultimate goal of being professional.  There seems to be controversy if one is perceived to "fluff" OR if one is too "critical" in his/her comments.  It's a no-win situation!   IR,I don't think your comment was meant to be perceived as critical, but I can see where it might have been.  I think it was big of you apologize.  To thine own self be true!  I'm certain Joyce will respond in due time.  She is dealing with some personal changes in her life which require her attention.  She has produced a body of work (her songs) which in my mind is a reflection of who she is as a person.  I have had the pleasure of getting to know Joyce, and I find her to be one of the most wonderful people I've ever met.  I consider her the dearest of friends and like a sister to me.  Sure, she is sensitive, but so is EVERYONE on this site.  She never tries to draw attention to herself by spending time in the forums or gossiping.  Yet it seems to me at times she is picked on (not by you, IR, but perhaps my explanation will help you understand why she reacted as she did).  I feel a lot of people are jealous of her singing talent, her versatility (which is second to none), and her mixing abilities!  Keep in mind we all bring to social intercourse our past experiences.  If one has received nothing but criticism and has dealt with much negativity early in life, there is a natural tendency to interpret the meaning of words in a certain way.  And as Michael said, if you don't see the person face to face, you can't properly read tone or facial expression, both of which better help a person determine the meaning of what another individual is saying.  Take it from me, I have three sons with a social disability!  I know Joyce very well, and I can tell you she doesn't play games and never manipulates others.  I  think the best thing we can all do is give her space, and she'll come back if and when she's ready.  IR, she'll be in touch, and I think you did the right thing by apologizing.  It would be helpful if we all stopped talking about Joyce.  She deserves some peace!  Best to all, and for heaven's sake, let's stop judging others by race, color, creed, gender, sexual orientation, weight, height, looks, past offenses, etc. (I don't mean you IR; I mean the ridiculous tenor of so much of forum conversation)!!!  Best to all...LJ

Hello Joyce:
I am placing this on here as I believe the person it is addressed to will read it.
Sorry if I am taking up some space.
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It has been brought to my attention via a post on Songbird's submission that Don Janson (AKA: " Mr. I can sing that song through my nasal cavity" ) believes me to be ListenerX.


I have always stood by what I say. I do not need any alias moniker to hid myself behind.

Mr.Saxfool, if you have not noticed... I have a life.

I am rarely on this site.
You & your "Pal" are the reason I left this site 4 days into arriving on SS.
Apparently, you both thought that I was "Sucking up" by giving good praise to "HORRIBLE SINGERS".

Donnyboy, I don't have the luxury as you to spend my days living at my mother's home rent free & thinking my big break is about to happen at the local pub.

Why dont you get off your computer and start to get a real life.

PS:
Before accusing anyone else, why not verify if "your PAm ooops PALl" has an X on her computer keayboard!


I really don't have the time or energy to waste on an OLD FOOL playing such childish games.

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Thanks again, FredEric ~

Hello everyone.. I am not much of a forum participater  but when my name appears I feel a duty to respond.  I needed to collect my thoughts before doing so as some personal offline issues have come to a head.. So I am going to kill several birds with one stone and if you're bored by this, so be it.

Hi IR (Robby) It's funny I know what you do for a living before I knew your actual name.  You had told me about your position in a previous e-mail...I can almost relate to it.. I cleaned up refuse off the floor of my dying mother, so even if the postition was avail to me, I would need to refuse no matter how much it paid, brings back maldorous memories... yes your apology is accepted.  Although it wasn't at first apparent to me why you wanted to make this public , now I understand.  What's done is done.  You know when you mentioned about Bond servicing me, I had no idea it meant sexual.  Now that I think of it Pierce Brosnan would be my choice of  James Bonds.. ok, nuff joking...when it was called to my attention about your original comment the first thing I thought was that you had digested too much cabernet pasta sauce on your spaghetti and mine was the post you chose to regurgitate on.. Many times people transfer the inner turmoils in their life onto an unsuspecting being, leading to more confusion... and that's how your comment appeared to me.  Yes I was 'sensitive' in my reaction...Sensitive seems to be taboo according to what I read in forums.  I am not ashamed of mine... The miscommunication runs rampant here.. I need to get away from it.. Yours was the icing on the cake...

I realize that I am about the only member that has been here on what would have been 2 years on 1/31/05  that was  as of late, posting daily.. I have seen the changes but have never witnessed member morale so low as it is now...  As far as ListenerX has it occured to anyone that maybe we are part of a case study for this person in human behaviour?  Whoever that person is ( The other day I was asked if I was Listenerx- NOPE)...the critiques I have seen of his/hers are child's play compared to what I witnessed during my 1st months here.
I used to go the critique route and if I took everyone's critique of me seriously I would not be singing today.  I began a professional life in music long before Karaoke and the critique I received from those in the industry was far more helpful...

My basic reasons for leaving:  It has been like the domino effect..Along with needing to concentrate on finding employment,  several months ago I learned through a trusted source  that a few members, who are very popular here on SS,  ostrasized  another member for complimenting a song of mine.. The quote was " she has no talent so why are you giving her false hope?" At the same time, one of the persons who thought I had no talent, would come to my songs and fluff me. the person was actually mad because someone liked my singing. So in response I just ignore that person and invariably they stopped coming to my subs.  I respect them for that and only that.  If you don't like my singing, that's fine, just don't waste your energy or mine with bs, simple as that!  Then another member accused me publically of being ' negative on other people's subs' to my knowledge, I was unaware of hurting anyone, so I asked this person to clarify but they didn't.. they apologized to me and I accepted and then they went on alluding to me unfavorably on their next sub.. Go figure.. I knew that my subscription was up for renewal in late January and decided not to renew it but still figured on posting now and then.. Personal event this week hastened my desicion.. You have plenty of talented folks on this site and maybe someday when the smoke clear I'll be back.. I am allergic to bickering.. The pain of the world sucks.. That's why I sing.. Isn't that what we're all here for?

If I have unintentionally agitated anyone, and they need further clarification with me I do have a telephone number upon private request. I am the same person over the phone as behind the keyboard.

Thank you

Points Alarmingly Made (oops).  Just to add to the pot, I come on here a few minutes ago and see someone has a song posted (same song, same version that I just submitted last night) and claims I've been helping him with his singing and hopes he gets it right this time.  

I won't get into the reasons why this claim by this person is COMPLETELY unfounded and untrue (personally, the further I can get from him the better for a variety of sound reasons) so it can only implied that he thinks I'm "X" (are we all taking turns? It's beginning to feel like a game of "Clue", although I've always been "Colonel Mustard" for as long as I remember).  

What is interesting is "X" has never left the singer above a critique that I could see anyone getting that incensed about; frankly, reading through most of what he or she's written, I can agree on must of what was suggested (I disgree with this X's opinion on the overall ability  of some of the singers, and "X" does seem to be more subjective when dealing with the female singers,  but that's my opinion only).  I wrote "X" a PM just a few nights ago asking to help me with a spot on a song that I was unsure of; heck, use the resource if it's there I say!

Frankly, I find all this concern about "WHO IS IT?" rather comical; and I'd be very careful about how someones reacts against someone else caused by all this suspicion--someone might get hurt and it might be the wrong person.  

Thanks.