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It could be that there is no right or wrong in this case. It's wrong for me to speak so highly of someone whom I don't really know all about, and whom I'm not intimately involved with, although sometimes, I can sense a connection between myself and someone else.
And my wife is not wrong for suspecting that I'm drifting apart from her, finding me talking about someone else so highly. It's certainly not lack of attention towards my wife...although I am a truck driver away from home about 4 days a week.
Whenever I shower her with attention, she thinks I've done something wrong and I'm trying to ease my own conscience for doing so.
What she doesn't realize is that I'm really showing appreciation for her and all she's done for me, because after being away for a while and noticing how things are with other people, I realize that there's no place like home.

She will have to stop with all of the ridicule though....I can only take so much before turning cold myself. But actually, I'm pretty resilient....I'm always willing to start over no matter what has happened. It's just a shame that I never seem to learn my lesson with this stuff.
I will never change who I am when it comes to caring for other people....she's just gonna have to live with that. It's too bad that we both aren't on the same level though when it comes to expressing our emotions about others.

Never give up discussing things with her, and never go to sleep mad at each other. Get her to tell you what's bothering her, and always be willing to meet her halfway. It's hard to live with someone, and living with a new someone, isn't going to be any easier, probably harder. Things don't just work out.....you have to constantly work on a relationship, no matter how many years it has been. Be each others ultimate lover.....but you both have to practice, practice, and even more practice(with each other of course)....fantasies are ok, but always learn to keep the fantasies separate from the realities......make it work, because fate can give a rats a$$, if things work out for you or not................

thats what I love about you Kappy, you're such a caring, sharing, giving kinda guy

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

Dude....I couldn't have said that better myself.....well, if I could've, I would'nt be in this mess.
There is no sexual thing to this....I just got caught up in a new personality that rocked my world....sex and love are 2 different things....I'm not just out trying to have sex....my wife is all I need.
If I could just get her to understand that, I'd not have to feel so wrong about wanting to know another woman as a friend. What the f**k did I just say???
It's the implication that makes it all so clear...

Hey....I didn't do it.

I remember having a few good female friends in school, you could talk to them in a way that was very different than talking to a dude........I miss that......in my case, I was able to allow my wife to be a friend too......my wife is a super lady, I don't deserve her, but I certainly am going to hang on to her.....an understanding wife, can enable a guy to have a female friend, and only a friend.....one that doesn't understand can drive a man to seek more than friendship.....don't stop talking....take her to meet your friend....in my case......I think my female firend likes my wife better than she likes me..........wife might recipricate that feeling.....nothing I can do bout that........keep the lines of communication open, and don't make your wife feel any disrespect......also think.....what if the situation was reversed.......been thinking hard about dat myself.......hang in there, buddy

actually Johnny that is so true...this is a true story.
When I first got together with my now husband, about a week after I moved into his house, friends of his arrived to stay for the week. It was a husband and wife and their 2 children from hell.
My husband had explained to me prior to them coming how if his mate hadnt married his wife then he would have. The week passed (not quickly enough due to the horrible children...one of them even did no. 2s on the floor and put a mat over it) Some months after they had stayed...actually about 2 months before we got married, the couple parted. When we found out I took my man aside and offered to postpone the wedding if he wanted to see if the woman that he had been so enamoured of was more suited than me. He said no (due mainly to the f***ing horrible children I am sure) that he wanted to marry me.
The night of our wedding she phoned to congratulate us. She had obviously been drinking but I dont excuse what she said because of the liquor. In my experience booze simply gives people the courage to say what they think. She said to me "I hope you realise that it is only bad timing that prevents me standing next to steve instead of you"
That woman is not welcome in my home.
But my husband goes to stay at her house with my blessing. Why? Because I trust him. He is godfather to her brats and he hates them. If ever there was a passion killer it is those horribly brought up children. Steve going to stay there simply reminds him what a lucky escape he really had.

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

Vicki- Why would he need to stay at her house? Wow you are trusting !!

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[updown]~*~ MONKEY BUSINESS KARAOKE~*~ [/shadow][/updown][/glow]

Hi there Babs....Ready for that foot Rub yet??  :wave:  :hug:

I just found out last night that she had a potential prospect when she worked at the hospital for a short time a while back. Some guy was interested or trying to infiltrate her psyche about her marriage to me.
I wasn't at all surprised because she's a sexy lady and her personality really comes alive when she's around other people.
One day, a doctor took her to Starbuck's for coffee on their breaks....I joked and said....there you go honey!!  LOL
I'm not the least bit jealous anymore unless she tries to rub something in my face. I'm more like.....whatever makes you happy dear.
I think she was trying to hurt me telling me about the guy at the hospital though....she even had a guy's phone number from there too, but made a point to tell me about it and why. I wish she wouldn't do that, because if it's really nothing, why do I need to know?

now come on honey what you really mean is Vicki you are stupid

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

No you're not stupid. If I trusted my man and there was a good reason to stay at her house I would let him. I just can't see a reason why he need to sleep over.

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[shadow=pink][glow=deepskyblue]. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
[updown]~*~ MONKEY BUSINESS KARAOKE~*~ [/shadow][/updown][/glow]

I think that regardless because of her calling you that night and saying what she did it takes a big woman to be able to keep her in your lives. Although he's the children's godfather, what she did was horribly disrepectful to you. Never mind the idea of cheating etc... just that you are big enough to be able to put that incident aside is awesome, a lot of people couldn't.  :hug:  Lubs ya girlie

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Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. (I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.)

I have to agree with Fiery. You should be able to trust your man and you are the better person.

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[shadow=pink][glow=deepskyblue]. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
[updown]~*~ MONKEY BUSINESS KARAOKE~*~ [/shadow][/updown][/glow]

or maybe I dont care enough?  :shock: Its possible

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

Exactly. Or maybe you just don't mind sharing? Maybe that's my problem too. Not so much that I don't care anymore, just to the point where an argument is too much work to worry about stuff.
Maybe I should just give up the idea of having a girl friend?
There will always be that hint of jealousy by my wife to have to deal with all the time.
She's not stupid. Last night she said if this couple that I speak so highly of ever broke up, I'd be the first one standing there with tool in my hand.......  LMAO
And I can't honestly deny that, so it turns out that I'm the questionable half of this so-called friendship?

And oh, things still aren't back to normal here, but I'm trying.
All this because I like to express myself openly........is it really worth it to be a nice guy?  :wave:

Perry,

Quit beating yourself up. One of my philosophies is: there is nothing wrong with how you feel. Feelings are there for a reason, and a person shouldn't feel bad for feeling what they feel. You're human, and you're suppose to be.

And, yeah, it feels good when someone compliments you, and seems to enjoy your company. And, unfortunately, because of your wife's jealousy, it makes the outside attention more attractive.  My husband is the super jealous type. It gets so bad, that I've considered leaving. But this is my 3rd marriage, and execept for his jealousy, all-in-all, I have a good life. So I've decided the marriage is worth staying in.

I've decided I'll enjoy the attention & compliments I recieve from other sources, because it keeps me from being down on myself. And when the hubby gets grouchy because of it, I've learned to ignore it and go on living until he gets over it. Just don't respond by being mean yourself, or stopping from doing any of the things you usually do to show your wife appreciation. It's when you stop doing them that she may really "flip out".

Hang in there, I know it's extremely tough, but you've got to be who you are, and there's nothing wrong with that.

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Hi Perry!  :wave: Thought I'd throw my 2 cents in here.  My sister was married to a truck driver.  His absences were extremely hard on their marriage.  She ended up quiting her job to go on the road with him.  It worked out for a while, but she got bored and went back to work.  He didn't want to take anything local because he was making so much more so they were back to square one.  They drifted apart, he found solace elsewhere and eventually they divorced.  Funny thing, exact same thing happened to my best friend.

I'm not saying you should change jobs, but not being with each other a lot does affect your marriage. You need time for each other, to nurture your marriage keep it strong.  Have you two gone to counseling?

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Gosh Perry I thought I had responded to this already...

First...I don't think you look like a celery stalk/cereal killer or whatever it was that she said...I personally think you are a very attractive man.. Hot to be exact...You have a great personality and you have a very sexy voice and hey your looks are pretty awesome too!!!  As well as being sensitive and hard working...All these things make you hot!!!

Second...An insecure person in a marriage is not a good thing.. You two have been through ups and downs before..perhaps this to will pass..time will only tell...It can be hard.....

I have many friends that are men and Rich has many friends that are women..We trust each other completely..Also, it was one of the conditions when we first got together..We would not give up any friends that were of the opposite sex....It is very possible to be just friends...we do it everyday.....

I always wish for you the best and when you are not here I am always wondering if all is ok....Keep your chin up and give your relationship all you have, if it does fail then you can always know that you did everything you could.....



Sharon

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Will sing or fish for food!!I'm not quite right!!

Perry, you need to come down here and party with us.