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Below is a partial list of terms I have learned in my brief existence (one failed marriage, many failed relationships and one current relationship  that I {finally} seemed to have actually applied this knowledge.)

FINE
this is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five
minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're
welcome.

Men, pass this on to your friends you know to warn them about future arguments that they can avoid if they remember the terminology!
And send it to your women friends to give them a good laugh!

Oh, and before we forget .

"Whatever"
....it's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!

_________________
Phill Cross
Webmaster, Host Provider & Part-Time “Technical” Problem Solver

KJ / MC


services provided by:
CROSS WEB TECH

Very funny but true!!!  LMAO   Thanks for the laugh this morning Phil  :hi5:

I really needed it!  LMAO

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WhatEVER!  LOL

Very funny Phil. Picking on women today are we?

Well, that's okay.

Funny stuff tho... and yeah, mostly true.  :whistle:

I'm gonna have to print those and hang them on my hubby's side of the room where he can *maybe*..... *someday*..... understand me a little.

.

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

Who me!?  :whistle:
No, just trying to help educate the lesser sex. We need all the help we can get!

Well! (In the stylings of Jack Benny)

_________________
Phill Cross
Webmaster, Host Provider & Part-Time “Technical” Problem Solver

KJ / MC


services provided by:
CROSS WEB TECH

1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the butt
and a "Nice hustle, you'll get'em next time" would pretty much do it.

2. Birth control would come in ale or lager.

3. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only
occur in leap years.

4. On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to
go drinking. Mother's Day too.

5. St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it
would be celebrated every month.

6. Garbage would take itself out.

7. Regis and Kathy Lee would be chained to a cement mixer and pushed
off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative pay-per-view event
in world history.

8. The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would "Monday Night
Football from a Different Camera Angle".

9 Instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer-biceps".

10. Tanks would be far easier to rent.

11. Two words... "Ally McNaked".

12. When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer
you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in: Cop: "You know
how fast you were going?" You: "All I know is, I was spillingmy beer all
over the place." Cop :"Nice one, That's $10.00 off".

13. People would never talk about how fresh they felt.

14. Daisy Duke shorts would never go out of style again.

15. Every man would get four real Get Out of Jail Free cards
per year.

16. Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of
conversation.

17. The victors in any athletic competition would get to kill and eat
the losers.

18. It would perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you
returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.

19. Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could present
your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said "You're #1!".

20. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game,
she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a
time-out.

21. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable
response to "I love you".

22. The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.

23. "Sorry I'm late, but I got wasted last night", would be an
acceptable excuse for tardiness.

24. At the end of the workday a whistle would blow and you would jump
out of your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right
into your car.

25. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?"
cards.

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Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. (I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.)

I just had to quote that.

Phill... godfather to all here... who knows all and sees all.....

Just named men the lesser sex.  LOL  :whistle:


@ Lisa.... good ones:)

.

_________________
♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

Phill is a very smart man!  LOL

This is part of the wisdom he has learned. Concede to the dominant sex and avoid absolute hell.

Hmm.... Maybe I'll hang THAT saying in my bedroom. Cause sometimes, I just can't get him to LIE STILL and quit wiggling.  :no:  LOL

(my bad, am i over stepping any bounds?) No? Okay, cool.

.

_________________
♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

Chuck - it works like that in my life!

 Women  :worship:  :worship:
"We're not worthy, We're not worthy"
Insert clip from Wayne's World here

_________________
Phill Cross
Webmaster, Host Provider & Part-Time “Technical” Problem Solver

KJ / MC


services provided by:
CROSS WEB TECH

Down boy!

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Oh honey!

Chuck, you go a little lower...  :dancin:

Hehe, I bet Gigi tells ya that all the time....

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

Wellll...I figured if you got your own head in your butt that well....  :yum:

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

Did he just tell the world I am a dominatrix?????

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[glow=darkorchid]Musica delenit bestiam feram[/glow]