Karaoke Forums

Too funny not to share... now how many others can find Dr. Seuss parodies?

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Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. (I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.)

heheh love it

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

E-mail SPAM I AM!!

I am spam.

Spam-I-am.


That Spam-I-am.
That Spam-I-am.
I do not like
That Spam-I-am.

Do you like
E-mail spam?

I do not like it,
Spam-I-am.
I do not like
your E-mail Spam.

Would you like it here
or there?

I would not like it.
here or there.
I would not like it
anywhere.
I do not like
your e-mail spam.
I do not like it
Spam-I-am.

Would you like it
if it's lewd?
Would you like it
in the nude?

I would not like it
if it's lewd.
I would not like it
in the nude.
I would not like it
here or there.
I would not like it
anywhere.
I do not like
your e-mail spam.
I do not like it
Spam-I-am.

Would you want it
at your ISP?
Would you want it
'cause it's free?

Not at my ISP.
Not even when it's free.
Not if it's lewd.
Not in the nude.
I would not like it
here or there.
I would not like it
anywhere.
I do not like
your e-mail spam.
I do not like it.
Spam-I-am.

Would you? Could you?
From afar?
Take them! Take them!
Here they are.

I would not,
could not,
from afar.

You will like them.
You wil see.
You will like them.
You'll buy from me!

I would not, could not buy from thee.
Not from afar! You let me be.
Not at my ISP.
Not even when it's free.
Not if its lewd.
Not in the nude.
I would not like it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like your e-mail spam.
I do not like it Spam-I-am.

A bunch! A bunch!
A bunch! A bunch!
Could you, would you,
love a bunch?

Not in a bunch! I'll not buy from thee!
Not from afar! Spam! Let me Be!
Not at my ISP.
Not even when it's free.
Not if its lewd.
Not in the nude.
I would not like it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like your e-mail spam.
I do not like it Spam-I-am.

Say!
On a lark?
Here on a lark!
Would you read it on a lark?

I would not read it
on a lark?

Would you, could you
think again?

I would not, could not, think again.
Not in a bunch! I'll not buy from thee!
Not from afar! Not at my ISP.
I do not like it, Spam, you see.
Not even when it's free.
Not if its lewd.
Not in the nude.
I would not like it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like your e-mail spam.
I do not like it Spam-I-am.

Would you, could you,
A pyramid scheme?

I would not, could not,
a pyramid scheme!

Would you, could you,
something really obscene?

I could not, would not, something really obscene.
Will not, will not, a pyramid scheme.
I will not read it on a lark.
I will not, will not think again.
Not in a bunch! I'll not buy from thee!
Not from afar! Not at my ISP.
Not even when it's free.
Not if its lewd.
Not in the nude.
I would not like it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like your e-mail spam.
I do not like it Spam-I-am.

You do not like it,
so you say.
Read it! Read it!
And you may.
Read it and you may, I say.

Spam!
If you will let me be,
I will try it,
You will see.

Say!
I do detest your e-mail spam!
I do! I hate it! Spam-I-am!
I really hate you, and your floozie!
I will hunt you with an Uzi!
I do not want that something really obscene!
I do not want your pyramid scheme!
They should take you to the deck!
And once there... should stretch your neck!
You are so evil, so evil, you see!
Get thee Satan away from me!
If I could find you and your ISP,
I would piddle in your shoes and on your knee!
I find you crude!
I find you rude!
I do not like you here or there.
I would not like you anywhere.
I do not like your e-mail spam.
Death to you
Death to you
Spam-I-am

_________________
[shadow=tomato]If you want your significant other to pay attention to EVERY word you say::
  TALK IN YOUR SLEEP   [/shadow]  

Haha I love that! now I have to go find some more ol.

_________________
Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. (I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.)

Good lord someone was bored!!!  LMAO  LMAO  LMAO

But gave me a good laugh!!!  :rotflmao:

If Dr. Seuss had written for ER
Author: Brent Fogel

Kerry: Now Mark, I think this ER's great,
But...there are problems that can't wait!
Now Benton's fine, and Carter too,
But Ross and Susan just won't do!
Now who do you think that we should hire,
Since both of them today I'll fire?

Mark: Kerry, maybe we should wait and see...
Kerry: That's great Mark! I knew you would agree...

Jerry: Dr. Weaver? Sorry to interrupt...
But the paramedics just pulled up.

Mark: Ok, I'm here. What have you got?

Shep: This little boy has just been shot!
His pulse is faint, his breath is weak.
We did all we could to stop the leak.

Riley: And this woman here, she has a broken hip...

Carol: How did she fall? How did she trip?

Shep: The kid's mom was getting in my hair,
So I shoved her--lightly--down some stairs.

Mark: Benton, Kerry! Take the mom to three!
Doug and Susan! Come with me!

Riley: But wait, but wait! Oh don't you see?
We've got some more; one, two, and three.

Kerry: You've got three more? How can this be?
Explain it, tell it all to me!

Riley: Well, Shep was driving. Really fast.
A light turned red. Shep hit the gas.
We hit a car, it hit two more.
Soon the total rose by four.
Another bang! Another crash!
But we couldn't stay, we had to dash!
We grabbed these three but I am sure,
The injured totaled sixty score!

Carter: These people really are a mess!
Their injuries I cannot guess!
It makes me sick, my knees are weak,
A toilet I must soon go seek...

Benton: It's ok Carter! Stay on your toes!
It doesn't get worse than this you know!
To Trauma four let's take these three.
You can do it, come with me!

Green: Ok, let's get this boy on the table.
To save his life if we are able!

Haleh: Dr. Green! This boy is cyanotic!
I can't find a pulse...oh, wait I've got it!
But it is weak! Oh, woe is us!

Doug: Give him saline! IV push!
CBC, chem 7, stat!
We will save him, bet on that!
Oh no, he's showing poor perfusion!
Lydia, start a blood tranfusion!

Lydia: But Dr. Ross, I hate to say.
The blood bank didn't come today!
We're out of blood, I can't believe!

Doug: Here, use mine! (rolls up his sleeve)

Kerry: We need some help! There's been a crash!
Someone's heart stopped with a flash!
But Dr. Benton saved the day,
And Carter's going to be ok.

Susan: What can I do, where can I go?
I'm not incompetent you know!
I deserve a chance and with good reason,
I only killed one guy last season!

Chloe: Hey, Suze? Look! It's me...
I doing great...oh, can't you see?
I'm back on drugs and feeling woozy,
Can you take care of little Susie?

Susan: Not now Chloe! I'm in a panic!

Kerry: Get Susan out, she can't handle it!

Mark: It's fine! It's done, the kid's ok.
We're sending him up on his way.
To surgery he's off to go,
They must sew up that bullet hole.
But Dr. Ross, he's out of sorts...
We had to take a dozen quarts.

Benton: Ok, we're done. I did it all.
I used a double breasted suture saw.
I closed them up, I fixed their ills.
I patched their wounds, I gave them pills.
I have their livers in this sack.
I did it all, behind my back.
I need more patients, give me more!
I just cured three, now give me four!

Carter: What happened? Did I miss it all?
I saw some blood. I took a fall.
But it doesn't matter, we saved the day!

Carol: Get ready! There's more on the way!

Copyright © 1996 by Brent Fogel

_________________
Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. (I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.)

The Dr. Seuss Purity Test (slightly modified so it could be posted!!!)


Have you done it on a boat?
Have you done it with a goat?

Have you done it in a bed?
Have you done it with the dead?

Have you done while at mass?
Have you done it, high on grass?

Have you done it in the car?
Have you simply gone too far?

Have you done it on the beach?
Have you done it with the teach?

Have you done it on your back?
Have you done it strapped to a rack?

Have you done it in a box?
Have you done it with a fox?

Have you done it in a tree?
Have you done it with more than three?

Have you done it in the rain?
Have you done it for the pain?

Have you done it in the shower?
Have you done for the power?

Have you done it packed in rubber?
Have you done it undercover?

Have you done it on a perch?
Have you done it in a church?

Have you done it with a virgin?
Have you done it with your surgeon?

Have you done it with ropes and chains?
Have you done it while insane?

Have you done it on the stage?
Have you done it underage?

Have you done it with all your friends?
Have you done it in both ends?

Have you done it with your dog?
Have you done it on a log?

Have you done it under clamps?
Have you done it with the lamps?

Have you done it for all to see?
Have you ever had VD?

Have you done it on Mother's couch?
Have you done it with your mouth?

Have you done it while on tape?
Have you done it out of shape?

Have you done it on live TV?
Have you done it where I could see?

Have you done it in the gym?
Have you done it on a whim?

Have you done it on a dare?
Do you really think we care?

Answer these and count your "no"s,
pray this number never grows.
Fifty questions we asked thee,
score times two is your Purity.

_________________
[shadow=tomato]If you want your significant other to pay attention to EVERY word you say::
  TALK IN YOUR SLEEP   [/shadow]  

Seuss rocks.........

I considered posting the purity test but couldn't be bothered to make all the changes.

_________________
Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. (I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.)

Too much reading for me....

No comment  :ggof:

_________________
Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. (I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.)

What if Dr. Seuss wrote technical manuals?

A Grandchild's Guide to Using Grandpa's Computer

Bits Bytes Chips Clocks
Bits in bytes on chips in box.
Bytes with bits and chips with clocks.
Chips in box on ether-docks.

Chips with bits come. Chips with bytes come.
Chips with bits and bytes and clocks come.

Look, sir. Look, sir. read the book, sir.
Let's do tricks with bits and bytes, sir.
Let's do tricks with chips and clocks, sir.

First, I'll make a quick trick bit stack.
Then I'll make a quick trick byte stack.
You can make a quick trick chip stack.
You can make a quick trick clock stack.

And here's a new trick on the scene.
Bits in bytes for your machine.
Bytes in words to fill your screen.

Now we come to ticks and tocks, sir.
Try to say this by the clock, sir.

Clocks on chips tick.
Clocks on chips tock.
Eight byte bits tick.
Eight bit bytes tock.
Clocks on chips with eight bit bytes tick.
Chips with clocks and eight byte bits tock.

Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say....

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

You can't say this? What a shame sir!
We'll find you another game sir.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

Copyright © 1995 by Gene Ziegler.

_________________
Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. (I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.)