Sorry for the slow reply. I left for New York on Thanksgiving to try to get this sorted out. Thank you all for your show of support and advise. Here's where everything stands right now:
The judge denied my request for emergency relief. There is a "first appearance" scheduled for Dec. 18th. My lawyer was floored that my petition was denied, but said that alot of the time, a judge just doesn't like to change his original order.
To answer a few of your questions:
1. We have joint custody, with residence with father (at the time, he was better financially able to care for our son)
2. His wife's claim (that kept me from being able to get my son) was that I haven't been in contact with him. Now, the situation here is that she would never let me speak to him on the phone, but I have continued to send letters and presents. And have gotten updates about him from my former Father-in-law. (I know, I should have fought this issue before now....)
3. Despite my trying to have a good relationship with this woman, she is the jealous type, who was scared I'd try to still her husband ( please!!!, why divorce him if I wanted him)
4. My ex is being accussed of abusing his wife, but by the people in the house (her mother), and police reports, this was not the case. Strange story: she fell the previous day, was told at hospital she may have a concussion, husband was instructed to wake her up every couple of hours. When he couldn't wake her, he pinched her nose, which woke her up, and now she claims he tried to kill her.
4. When we originally split up, we both lived in Illinois. He then moved to New York, and I moved to Massachusetts so I could still visit my son. Our divorce was granted in New York. Ex then moved to Alabama, where all of his relatives live, and about 6 months later, I moved here also. He then immedialty moved back to New York because his then girlfriend didn't like our having close contact. It's just impracticle for me to keep moving around the country to be near my son.
Sorry this is so long, and I hope this answers questions. Thank you for your continued prayers, it really means alot to me.