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Sorry to bring this to you guys, but I just had one heck of a ordeal thrown at me, and feel the need for some friendly support right now. My ex just called me & told me his current wife left today & has filed a temp. custody & restaining order against him with his & my child.  She is filing for custody of our child, and has been granted temp. custody of him.  

I live in Alabama, and they live in New York, and I've been through an out of state battle before, and know how the residing state generally resonds to this, but I am floored because he & I share joint custody, and I can't believe they gave my child to her instead of contacting me. So please keep me in your prayers.  (and if there are any New York lawyers out there  :pray: , your advise to an out of state mother would be appreciated  :yes: )

Thank your for your support & prayers...

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We are here for you.

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I second that.

That's crazy...I hope someone on here knows something about this. I'd think you might have to fight it on a federal level.....look at all they went through for Ilian Gonzalas(I think that was his name)....you'd think an U.S. citisen would have as much right as his father did, in this country....we're with you....ps .there has to be similiar cases to this....see if you can find them, and see how they were decided

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that you can count on family courts to do crazy stuff...

You have my full support, for what it's worth

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I'll put you on my list....and no Im not santa  LMAO

Seriously...I'll be praying for you

You need to find the court and docket number for that decision and appeal through an attorney that strictly handles interstate custody issues! Do you know why that court granted temp custody? I'm not accusing here; but are they any alledged abuse reports? It seems hard for me to understand why they would grant the non custodial parent temp custody when that child is not realated through consanguinity. let me know how this evolves. I'm not an attorney but I am in law enforcement and have a very good friend that is an attorney.

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call all the news directors at your local tv stations. Write letters to editors. Go online and find the NY newspaer and wiite in their blog. Call Oprah....

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To tell you the truth I don't know anything about the interstate issue, so don't take anything I say here as any sort of legal advice.   I'm with everybody else, it doesn't make sense to grant custody to a non-parent.  I'll speculate for you: it could be that what happened was that as part of an order of protection, the court was constrained to grant temporary physical custody (who the child stays with) to your ex's woman because the order of protection prevents your ex from having contact with the child.  You were out of state so the court couldn't just give the child back to you.

If this is so, the court's order wouldn't affect your rights, specifically.  You'd still have physical custody of the child at the normal times.  It would only affect what happens during the time the child is supposed to be with your ex.

But I'm guessing, not making a real analysis.  Consult a local lawyer who works with interstate custody (and in particular, orders of protection) issues as suggested above.

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Well, that's messed up.  :shock:

I'd be furious. Good luck to you, it's sometimes VERY hard to overturn a courts' decision, especially in the realm of child custody.

Edit: After reading the post prior to mine.... I realized you said "restraining order". That sheds a whole new light on things.  They wouldn't really question that, if a judge grants a restraining order to her.... But I think you could get custody of her, that would be a whole seperate issue. Granting custody along with a restraining order is just a means of saying the one who is being restrained against CAN'T be around the child without breaking the law.

.

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since you have joint custody, that bimbo can't take your daughter. She CAN try! It's up to you now to contact the original state that decided the child's welfare in the first place, and present to them the court case.

You'll need a lawyer, but you have a very good chance at this. Once you file the facts in which state the divorce and child decree was originally stated in, they'll have to go to that state to file their petition, unless you sign over your rights.

Get thee to a lawyer, quick!

I know some guys in a certain motorcycle club that for a six pack and a moon pie can take care of this.  Seriously, Best of luck and will add you to my prayer lists.  And by all means, get a lawyer quick!

Kelly

I know it must be hard for you right now. My thought is - Do you trust this woman? Has she been good to your child in the past? If she has been, try not to worry until you can get this sorted out. Have you tried calling her? Maybe you can work something out directly with her. Maybe she thought it was in the best interest for your child to be with her right now, but has no intention of trying to take her away from you. I think the tough part is just not knowing her real intentions. Good luck sweetie and try not to worry to much. Of course my prayers are with you.  :hug:

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That's a nice little fact to file away for future reference:)  :wink:


.

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

Which one of you moved out of state first?

That story just goes to prove how slanted the divorce laws/court system is toward women.   The biological father can't get custody over a step mom?     That's really screwed up.    You will need a good attorney and lots of cash.

I always thought the woman gets priority in custody battles....exception being in the case of an un-fit mother, or that the mother isn't able to provide a stable environment financially or whatever for the child?
I really don't know, I've never been through such an ordeal....except as a kid. My Mom was un-fit (at the time I suppose) and custody of her 3 boys was granted to my Dad's mother because my Dad was also unable to provide a stable environment due to several physical disabilities at the time. It was weird. I guess I'm the definition of a dysfunctional childhood.

Sounds like a difficult situation gahmc. I think everyone else gave the right advice. An attorney is probably unavoidable unfortunately.
I think you'll know better how to handle the situation after you learn what the real reasons for the takeover really are.

The good thing is that the child is yours biologically......that should count for something I would think. Stay positive and try to have a nice holiday.........Perry

[quote="Tom Eaton @ Wed Nov 22, 2006 7:50 am"] I'll speculate for you: it could be that what happened was that as part of an order of protection, the court was constrained to grant temporary physical custody (who the child stays with) to your ex's woman because the order of protection prevents your ex from having contact with the child.  You were out of state so the court couldn't just give the child back to you.

If this is so, the court's order wouldn't affect your rights, specifically.  You'd still have physical custody of the child at the normal times.  It would only affect what happens during the time the child is supposed to be with your ex.
quote]

What Tom states above pretty well covers it at least according to the laws of this state.  Remember each state is different but in cases like this the state doesn't go looking (potential abuse cases) very far because they don't want to care for the child if there is any in state relative available.  Your shared custody ruling trumps any claim the non-biological mother may have; in fact I don't know of any state where she would have a 'permanent' claim to your child.

Hang in there and contact the New York child welfare office (they may ask that an attorney get involved to verify your identity) to get the exact details before getting too upset.  You didn't state where in New York state they are but a simple web search will get you a phone number.

I went through something like this a few years ago...If you need to talk just PM me and I'll give you my number.....

I'll be thinking of you!!!

Sharon

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Do you have "Joint custody" or visitation ?  I don't know the terms of your divorce, or the ages of the children, but there's often an Atty for the Children as well.  Assuming you are joint custodian don't you have a "Child Custody" Atty, or Atty that represented your case ?  Does the custody agreement apply with you currently in the South and him in NY where their principle address is ? Would this be contempt of a court document under your current circumstances ?  You can't handle this pro se, The custody arrangement if joint is Court arranged isn't it ?  But in what state and under current conditions or with you being a resident of the same state as the children ??  ( we don't know what's going on) ..but This might help

http://www.childcustodyattorney.net/  

Could you take the children in Alabama ?  Or isn't that an option now ?  Depending on the circumstances it's tough to know the reasons any of this is happening as it  currently is, but NY is the state of their primary residence correct ?  With him ?  I'm in Ct and CT law is similar to NY regarding Civil and Family law, but their might be differences depending on intricacies of your arrangement, dunno what went on.  I'm wondering if this is a situation where she wants temporary custody because that's preferable to DCF or state intervention depending on what actually transpired, his suitability as primary custodian, etc.  Something must of happened making it easy to remove his custody.

You need an Atty !

Depending on the magnitude of charges against him as being an incompetent parent (assuming drugs, alcohol or abuse) were involved, even negligence on his part, on what grounds would it be so easy for her to get a court order removing HIS custody ?  There's more to this,  Would them staying with him pose risk of injury to them ?  ...  Her having temporary custody assuming you can't take them given your current set of circumstances MIGHT be preferable than the state stepping in.  Maybe there're conditions that need to be addressed immediately... AGAIN, GET AN ATTY..This gets tricky even in-state..  As to keeping current arrangements, she's filing for custody,  that doesn't mean she can supercede your current arrangement assuming you are a joint custodian,  filing for it, doesn't mean it will be easy for her when her atty looks up the court order, problem is, SHE'S going thru an Atty is you must too...  this might need to go thru you anyway,  she might not be able to become a primary custodial parent assuming the mother of the kids is appealing the decision and demands a hearing..

again,  find out what's going on via Atty

As to the "encouragement" part.   She doesn't have "Custody" yet.  Temporary custody likely doesn't change YOUR arrangement as a parent with joint custody.  She'd likely still have to abide by a court order.  HOWEVER,  we don't know what's going on...  An Atty would be privvy to details that you might not know about.  Are the kids in school ?  He's the principle custodial parent, right ?  Their  residence address is with him.

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