Karaoke Forums

What happens when you Show up Late for Dinner at Jeffery Dahmers house?









He Gives you the Cold shoulder

   <slowly turning around>  NO, Why do you ask ?




I learned my lesson !  I make sure I do this now before I leave the house !

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

I dont get it  :O  We dont know Jeffery Dahmer in the Antipodes

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

Posted: Today at 11:08 am  
Re: Short and Cute Jokes  
   


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Sorry
Jeffery Dahmer was a serial Killer in The USA and ate his Victims after he had sex with them.
here is a link to get to know more.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/crime/caseclosed/dahmer1.shtml

Get the Joke now?

my thread is dieing

<Tink flies in with tiny minature rose held between her teeth>
<Momentarily removes rose from mouth... Looks around...>

THINKS:  Aha, this is the place for short and cute jokes!!!

"Anybody want to do the tango with a pixie?!???

It's easy - just let yer fingers do the walking!!!"


"Ta Dumm >>>>>>ta dumm"
                                                 ta da da da<<<<<<<<<<<<DIP!!!!
"Ta Dumm >>>>>>ta dumm"
                                                 ta da da da<<<<<<<<<<<<DIP!!!!
"Ta Dumm >>>>>>ta dumm"
                                                 ta da da da<<<<<<<<<<<<DIP!!!!

You are a very sick puppy  :shock:

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well  groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel, smelling slightly of a  good after-shave, presenting a well looked-after image, walks into an  upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly lady, about mid eighties.



The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

An elderly man with Heart problems started Dating a young 21 year old woman.
the doctor say's this could be dangerous and even lead to death.

the elderly man say's "well if she dies ..she dies"

Sheeeeshhh!  Try to help a dieing thread an ya get stomped on by a witch!

Some of us dream of being stomped on by a witch.

Two older men walking down the path meet a talking frog. She says "Kiss me and I'll turn into a beautiful princess and I'll do ANYTHING you want!" First man reaches down and puts the frog in his pocket. The second man says "Didn't you hear what she said - ANYTHING you want!" First man says "At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog!"

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

For those who love the philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity.

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

10. Is there another word for synonym?

11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid  someone will clean them?

16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to start speaking?

19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

25. How is it possible to have a civil war?

26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?

30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?

31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented



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Kelley
Star Sounds Karaoke & Mobile Recording Studio


[shadow=black][scroll]You have to respect your audience. Without them, you're essentially standing alone, singing to yourself....KD Lang[/scroll][/shadow]

Wow. Too much info.

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Who loves ya baby?

More of a riddle than a "short and cute joke" I guess, but I liked this one. (got it in my email last night..)



You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed.
On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you.
Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the Kangaroo.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
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>Get your drunk (@$%&#!) off the merry-go-round!

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

Thanks Charmin.

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed.
On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you.
Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the Kangaroo.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
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>Get your drunk (@$%&#!) off the merry-go-round!
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 LMAO

_________________
Kelley
Star Sounds Karaoke & Mobile Recording Studio


[shadow=black][scroll]You have to respect your audience. Without them, you're essentially standing alone, singing to yourself....KD Lang[/scroll][/shadow]

Back in my drinking days I often took the merry-go-round home--although ferris wheels offered the benefit of air travel...

Two potatos are standing on a street corner.  How do you know which one is a prostitute?

Look for the little sticker on it that says "Idaho"