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It's only cash, and cash is all I have, to steal your heart away.


Was that the bee gee's, or the Hollies ?  I think the Bee Gee's.  Hard to believe it was that long ago..

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Spiteful. Aberrant. Inconsiderate. In case you can't tell, I'm making a direct reference to Steven Kaplan. Before I start, however, I should state that to understand what Steven's particularly merciless form of sesquipedalianism has encompassed as a movement and as a system of rule, we have to look at its historical context and development as a form of morally crippled politics that first arose in early twentieth-century Europe in response to rapid social upheaval, the devastation of World War I, and the Bolshevik Revolution. Jacobinism is, at its core, a backwards system that seeks to create an atmosphere of mistrust, in which speculations and rumors gain the appearance of viability and compete openly with more carefully considered theories. This is the flaw in Steven's excuses. He doesn't understand that I have begged his pals to step forth and give you some background information about Steven. To date, not a single soul has agreed to help in this fashion. Are they worried about how Steven might retaliate? Well, if I knew that, I'd be in Stockholm picking up my prize and a sizable check.

I have reason to believe that Steven is about to impose a narrow theological agenda on secular society. I pray that I'm wrong, of course, because the outcome could be devastating. Nevertheless, the indications are there that Steven serves as a conduit that carries the élan vital of resistentialism. So let Steven call me brainless. I call him ribald. While these incidents may seem minor, if he makes fun of me or insults me, I hear it, and it hurts. But I take solace in the fact that I am still able to act as a positive role model for younger people. Believe you me, I find that I am embarrassed. Embarrassed that some people don't realize that Steven has declared that he's staging a revolt against everyone who wants to break the mold and stray from the path of conventional wisdom. Steven's revolting all right; the very sight of him turns my stomach. All kidding aside, there are some basic biological realities of the world in which we live. These realities are doubtless regrettable, but they are unalterable. If Steven finds them intolerable and unthinkable, the only thing that I can suggest is that he try to flag down a flying saucer and take passage for some other solar system, possibly one in which the residents are oblivious to the fact that I, for one, want my life to count. I want to be part of something significant and lasting. I want to carve solutions that are neither patronizing nor adversarial. I see how important Steven's neo-froward plaints are to his emissaries and I laugh. I laugh because he focuses on feelings rather than facts. Sure, Steven attempts to twist and distort facts to justify his feelings but that just goes to show that he's a psychologically defective person. He's what the psychiatrists call a constitutional psychopath or a sociopath.

Steven is not only immoral, but amoral. What I just said is a very important point, but I'm afraid a lot of readers might miss it, so I'll say a few more words on the subject. He has the gall to see to it that all patriotic endeavors are directed down blind alleys, where they end in frustration and discouragement. Ergo, he has warned us that before long, what I call coldhearted, malign purveyors of malice and hatred will champion censorship in the name of free speech, intolerance in the name of tolerance, and oppression in the name of freedom. If you think about it, you'll realize that his warning is a self-fulfilling prophecy in the sense that he just keeps on saying, "I don't give a [expletive deleted] about you. I just want to diminish society's inducements to good behavior." Almost without exception, Steven's opinion is that he is the most recent incarnation of the Buddha. Of course, opinions are like sphincters: we all have them. So let me tell you my opinion. My opinion is that Steven has announced his intentions to extend his 15 minutes of fame to 15 months. While doing so may earn Steven a gold star from the mush-for-brains jingoism crowd, if he gets his way, I might very well wind up in a straitjacket and locked in a padded cell. Steven's planning to exploit issues such as the global economic crisis and the increase in world terrorism in order to instigate planet-wide chaos. Planet-wide chaos is his gateway to global tyranny, which will in turn enable him to undermine the foundations of society until a single thrust suffices to make the entire edifice collapse. And that's what writing this sort of letter is all about. It's a way to arraign Steven Kaplan at the tribunal of public opinion.

You reminded me,  I haven't used this word all week !   I'm slacking !




Thanks Jerry.   At least I'm going to learn something, and not just about myself from this post, but something even more valuable, because I can badger you folks with superfluous obscurant obtuse verbiage  :worship:


I ran that word thru spellcheck Jerry,  and it corrected me... The word it seems to recognise in place is "WTF"

_________________
Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Jerry,

  You've inspired me to write a poem !  I think I will call this poem






JERRY

A morbid tabloid
Sometimes a fraction prays
but the grand piano always dies!
When you see the exhortatory bison,
it means that a necktie near a lobbyist daydreams.

A plaintiff in lieu of a cello
pees on a secular dust bunny.
If the mullet proposes lewd acts
to a quickly stoic light bulb ?
then the proverbial miserly streetlight inspector procrastinates.

When a beverage
without the steam engine
laughs out loud,
a righteous fondue dies.


In case you're wondering the format is Iambic Pentameter  

_________________
Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Sad thing, is that these are always much better Haikus, and poems than I am capable of composing

http://www.melswebs.com/generators/poemgenerators.htm

_________________
Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

lurid spittlebug mutters
mutters, hoarsely, rumination smears, ripe
hermitical eccentric

bemused catfish deafening
rude derisive lustful baby raining sleepy
amputees wailing pigeon

implacable serpent rages
tartly, ghost staggers meekly, chimera ripens
sadly, gentle orchids sing

I can feel that one Chuck !    It permeates the very effervescent esotericism of my antimicrobular scintillating ambience

_________________
Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Any of you recall a while back there was a "theatre of the absurd" ?  Do you recall anything about that ?  I don't remember what it got into.

_________________
Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Albert Einstein meets Robin Williams  :worship:

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Who loves ya baby?

All that and he plays the piano too! Baffles science!

What is this Steven Kaplan?

Is it a proper noun such as a name?

Is it a verb? For example, "Mike is Steven Kaplining this thread."

Can it be used as an adjective? "Jerry is Steven Kaplininly ambiguous."

These questions may never be answered as the online dictionaries have not included this phrase in their latest publishing. We may never know.

It's more like Goethe meets Don King

_________________
Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Poe meets gumby.

I think this is the unabridged version that appeared serialized in "The Atlantic Monthly".

I do love a good hi-jack..  LMAO

Sorry Jerry,

   I was trying to keep this as close to spiteful aberrant sesquipedalianism as possible.

_________________
Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

May I be cynical for a bit? I hope you don't mind, but with Steven Kaplan's latest barrage of besotted claims, I can't resist the urge to make a few cynical comments. To begin with, I recommend that we arraign Steven at the tribunal of public opinion. He will almost certainly tiptoe around that glaringly evident fact, because if he didn't, you might come to realize that he thinks it's good that his invectives tinker about with a lot of halfway prescriptions. It is difficult to know how to respond to such monumentally misplaced values, but let's try this: If it were up to him, schoolchildren would be taught reading, 'riting, and racism. The purpose of this letter is far greater than to prove to you how abhorrent and vexatious Steven has become. The purpose of this letter is to get you to start thinking for yourself, to start thinking about how there may be nothing we can do to prevent him from making good on his word to make people weak and dependent. When we compare this disturbing conclusion to the comforting picture purveyed by his devotees, we experience psychological stress or "cognitive dissonance". Our only recourse is to transform our culture of war and violence into a culture of peace and nonviolence. There are few certainties in life. I have counted only three: death, taxes, and Steven doing some counter-productive thing every few weeks. I have one final message for you before ending this letter: For once, Steven Kaplan should try thinking instead of vociferating.

I have two orders of business regarding Steven Kaplan. Let me begin by citing a range of examples from the public sphere. For starters, once people obtain the critical skills that enable them to think and reflect and speculate independently, they'll realize that I'm not very conversant with Steven's background. To be quite frank, I don't care to be. I already know enough to state with confidence that Steven needs to stop living in denial. He needs to wake up and realize that our national media is controlled by sexist creeps. That's why you probably haven't heard that I wish that one of the innumerable busybodies who are forever making "statistical studies" about nonsense would instead make a statistical study that means something. For example, I'd like to see a statistical study of Steven's capacity to learn the obvious. Also worthwhile would be a statistical study of how many unrealistic moral weaklings realize that Steven constantly insists that his opinions represent the opinions of the majority -- or even a plurality. But he contradicts himself when he says that he can absorb mana by devouring his nemeses' brains. It has been said that Steven reminds me of the thief who cries "Stop, thief!" to distract attention from his thievery. I believe that to be true. I also believe that in asserting that we should derive moral guidance from his glitzy, multi-culti, hip-hop, consumption-oriented complaints, he demonstrates an astounding narrowness of vision. I have no idea why he makes such a big fuss over misoneism. There are far more pressing issues that present themselves and that should be discussed, debated, and solved -- issues such as war, famine, poverty, and homelessness. There is also the lesser issue that I like to speak of Steven as "dirty". That's a reasonable term to use, I feel, but let's now try to understand it a little better. For starters, it has long been obvious to attentive observers that the idea of basing our entire society on savage Pyrrhonism is so far from reality, it's laughable. But did you know that the evidence for this lies in the underlying assumptions behind Steven's accusations? Steven doesn't want you to know that because his off-the-cuff comments reinforce the point that we still have a long way to go in terms of achieving true tolerance in our society. That's clear. But even when he isn't lying, Steven's using facts, emphasizing facts, bearing down on facts, sliding off facts, quietly ignoring facts, and, above all, interpreting facts in a way that will enable him to dilute the nation's sense of common purpose and shared sacrifice. Call me old-fashioned, but you shouldn't let Steven intimidate you. You shouldn't let him push you around. We're the ones who are right, not Steven.

Let me be clear. A great many of us don't want Steven to exploit the public's short attention span in order to censor any incomplicitous pronouncements. But we feel a prodigious pressure to smile, to be nice, and not to object to his invidious conjectures. He must sense his own irremediable inferiority. That's why Steven is so desperate to sow the seeds of discord; it's the only way for him to distinguish himself from the herd. It would be a lot nicer, however, if Steven also realized that he twists every argument into some sort of "struggle" between two parties. Steven unvaryingly constitutes the underdog party, which is what he claims gives him the right to impede the free flow of information. It's a well-known fact that he turns his back on those who have been the most loyal to him. It's an equally well-known fact that his ideologies are so nebulous and malleable that they can be used to justify any inerudite slogans. When logic puts these two facts together, the necessary result is an understanding that to get even the simplest message into the consciousness of scary misfits, it has to be repeated at least 50 times. Now, I don't want to insult your intelligence by telling you the following 50 times, but I no longer believe that trends like family breakdown, promiscuity, and violence are random events. Not only are they explicitly glorified and promoted by Steven's insecure insults, but the need his yes-men have for his illogical subliminal psywar campaigns is especially strong as a means of transferring blame -- an outlet for the despair they face when normal channels of protest and change are closed. End of story. Actually, I should add that if he had even a shred of intellectual integrity, he'd admit that if he believes that his witticisms provide a liberating insight into life, the universe, and everything, then it's obvious why he thinks that hectoring sad sacks are inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive. In closing, Steven Kaplan's spokesmen are the biggest headlong polluters who have ever dirtied the face of the earth.

Hey,  That's why I never tuck my shirt tails in, and wear vertical stripes on my pants.  I'm aware that my public sphere has it's own separate area code, but if you are going to poke fun at my disfigured anatomical parts, don't go calling me a sexist  LOL

_________________
Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

I never realized that there was a term for adults that refuse to grow up, or adults that feel compelled to stay young.


Rejeuveniles.

(it's an actual recognized term, and it seems to be a trend that's becoming alot more common these days)

_________________
Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".