Dateline, Karaoke Scene Forum, Somewhere In The World:
WE have unreliable, anonymous unconfirmed reports that the notorious "BIGDOG" is the only working KJ in the Pittsburgh (correction Pennsylvania, correction East Coast, correction USA, correction WORLD, correction UNIVERSE) area. Anyone thinking of doing karaoke in that area should stop immediately. You might be accused of being him. (THEN WHAT?) Anyone suspected of being the "BIGDOG" should immediately turn themselves in to the Karaoke Scene, for a possible (I'd say, very unlikely, but well deserved) reward. If you suspect that you have actually seen or heard of this "BIGDOG", we would like to hear from you. Please forward all of your speculative, made up or phoney information to this forum. If you have positive proof that you have seen the "BIGDOG" it will only be verified by him, in writing, to this forum. Or by bringing in a hair sample or DNA.(or more of your Stool)
If you happen to be in the suspected vicinity of the "BIGDOG", you are urged to not apporach the "BIGDOG" without the proper safety equipment. Reportedly he is armed with very pointy teeth and a sharp tongue and a quick wit. Unconfirmed reports of savage mutilations have surfaced. Lock up your children, until this menace can be safely brought under control. You can leave out your daughters, if they are over the age of 18. At this time we can not confirm or deny if the "BIGDOG" has all of the required shots and vaccinations. To approach him alone and unarmed would be deemed unsafe. Please contact your nearest ASPCA or local dog catcher. Or Dial BR-549 or 555-867-5309 or Beechwood 4-5789 or OPERATOR can you help me place this call... Repeated close contact could result in a flea infestation and your owning one-heLL-of-a-good karaoke system and making a lot of CASH money.
There have also been many unconfirmed sightings in many other parts of the world. He must have unrestricted access to air travel. Possibly he owns a commuter (correction computer jet.) Or there could be hundreds of "BIGDOGS" or "BIGDOG" wannabes. Think of it. One of a million possibilities. Or "BIGDOG"
could be the internationally recognised call sign for all KJs, all over the world. One KJ greeting to another. Hi "BIGDOG", hello fellow "BIGDOG". Like Mr. Spocks raised hand. Instantly recognised as a KJ in good standing. The secret password. "BIGDOG" Someday....Hey ...you're a "BIGDOG", me too, 35 years, now. Yeah.. I started out as a pup, many years ago, now I'm a "BIGDOG".
It's not that far fetched...anyway...
Alleged Description:
Sex...?
Age...?
Height...?
Weight...?
Species...?
Country of Birth...?
Distinguishing Characteristics:
He/she (we haven't been able to see the underside for verification) is covered in white fur. He is a very unsavery character. He has been known to be full of good karaoke information and insight. He will lift his leg at the drop of a hat. He has been know to sniff the butts of new acquaintances. Never approach backwards. Avoid direct eye contact. If you should accidentally make eye contact, it is recommended that you immediately start singing to calm him. Never mention the words "wannabe or filler music", it puts him in a tangent. You could be risking certain death.
It has also been speculated the the "BIGDOG" could just be an urban legend, drug induced fantasy or alien being. Or only exists in the minds of wannabe KJs and bad singers. The tales of greatness passed down over the years, from KJ to KJ at the "All Night Diner, All-You-Can-Eat Breakfast smile." Without any tangible evidence, we will only be able to imagine, if indeed the "BIGDOG" is of flesh and blood or just a figment of karaoke folk lore. To date there has been no confimed evidence, as to his very existance. Only wild imaginings.
Stay tuned for further updates and good karaoke information.
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