Karaoke Forums

This is from a friend and I have been holding out for some time. It makes for a long post but I'm sure many of you will enjoy this.



"After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. (By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident)



P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.



P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.



P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.



P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.



P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Could not reproduce problem on ground



P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.



P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.



P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.



P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.



P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.



P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.



P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.



P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.



P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.



P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget."

Huge thumbs up!

Very Very funny.  :hi5:

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Years ago I worked on a radar that weighed 25 tons The hydraulics to drive it was massive and sometimes we had to replace couplers etc... I started to unpack a box and there was a warning in big red letters Important Critical Mod Inside.

So I unpacked it and was this little folded paper inside....

click for note

Chuck,  that was a good one!

Larry

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"Life is too short for diet soda and lite beer"

Here are some more that absoutely slay me

My hubby is an avionics tech.... and, first off, not only is a pilot NOT that stupid, to actually MAKE those complaints... (also... "auto-land"? Wtf is that?) but, those comments would never have been made and allowed to be recorded... imo.


And, I have seen those complaints EVERY where online, all under dif. aircraft companies.... so are they real? Probably not.

But, they ARE amusing:)

Just a little laughter...