Karaoke Forums

ok so its not really short but its cute

Three guys are in a bar on the top of a cliff. The first guy says to the other guys "You know, if had just one more beer, I reckon I could fly."

The second guy says "No Way!"

So the first guy orders a beer and drinks it. Then all three guys walk out to the edge of the cliff. The first guy jumps off, starts falling to the ground, and then flies gracefully back to the top of the cliff.

The second guy is totally amazed, so he says "You know, if I had another beer, I bet I could do that too."

All three guys go into the bar, and the second guy has one more beer. After he finishes, he says "Ok, I will be able to fly now."

All three of them go outside and the second guy jumps off of the cliff. He falls to the bottom, hitting the ground and dying instantly.

The third guy turns to the first guy and said "You know Superman, you can be a real jerk when you drink."  LOL  LOL

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Kelley
Star Sounds Karaoke & Mobile Recording Studio


[shadow=black][scroll]You have to respect your audience. Without them, you're essentially standing alone, singing to yourself....KD Lang[/scroll][/shadow]

Deleted by poster

_________________
Kelley
Star Sounds Karaoke & Mobile Recording Studio


[shadow=black][scroll]You have to respect your audience. Without them, you're essentially standing alone, singing to yourself....KD Lang[/scroll][/shadow]

Talk about child abuse.....

There's an accident one day at the plant and Sloan dies as the result.  So his buddies are sitting around trying to figure out how to break the news to Mrs. Sloan.  After a few beers they decide that Adams is the smoothest talker of the bunch so he's just the guy who should gosee her.

A little while later Adams knocks on the door of the Sloan house.  Mrs. Sloan comes to the door.

Adams says, "Are you the widow Sloan?.  She looks at him as if he's an idiot and says, "No, I'm Mrs. Sloan."

Adams says, "That's what you think!"

Larry

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"Life is too short for diet soda and lite beer"

I am short and cute and people laugh at me. Do I qualify?

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[glow=darkorchid]Musica delenit bestiam feram[/glow]

please post Pictures

Do they laugh at you or with you?  It's an important distinction.  I'm sure putting up with Chuch gets you lots of sympathy!  

Yeah, I think you qualify.  I'm with MrOctober on this one—please send pictures.

Larry

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"Life is too short for diet soda and lite beer"

We laugh with her. <wink>

If I post pics, everyone can laugh "with" me.

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[glow=darkorchid]Musica delenit bestiam feram[/glow]

Well, that depneds on what's in the pictures.

Two guys walk into a bar

The third guy ducks

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I serve no man and am loyal to only one God.

Being critical of a person's success in any respect speaks volumes about the lack of your own.

Love as though you've never been hurt, Dance as though no one's watching, Sing as though God Himself were listening.

The early bird gets the worm..



The second mouse gets the cheese...

Three elderly ladies were sitting on a park bench.
A guy comes along and flashes them.
Two of the ladies have a stroke.
The other lady couldn't reach that far, so she just sat back and watched.

_________________
I serve no man and am loyal to only one God.

Being critical of a person's success in any respect speaks volumes about the lack of your own.

Love as though you've never been hurt, Dance as though no one's watching, Sing as though God Himself were listening.

True story.
Saturday night, I'm doing a private party at one of the local Marinas.
One guy coming up to sing, thought he would be cute,
by taking the mic and farting into it.
Without missing a beat, I say over the pa,
"okay, now that you've cleared your throat, do you think you're ready to sing?"
Guess who gets the bigger laugh?

I love drunks, they provide you with such great material to work with.

_________________
I serve no man and am loyal to only one God.

Being critical of a person's success in any respect speaks volumes about the lack of your own.

Love as though you've never been hurt, Dance as though no one's watching, Sing as though God Himself were listening.

Mel Gibson has a new movie called Apoctolypto.... Its about the end of his career....

I like that one.

Ha HA HA !!!!  LOL  LOL

_________________
Kelley
Star Sounds Karaoke & Mobile Recording Studio


[shadow=black][scroll]You have to respect your audience. Without them, you're essentially standing alone, singing to yourself....KD Lang[/scroll][/shadow]

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

A furniture dealer from Knoxville, Tennessee decided that he wanted to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris, France to see what he could find.  
After arriving in Paris (this being his first trip ever to the French capitol), he met with some manufacturers and finally selected a line that he thought would sell well back home in Tennessee.  
To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine.  As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the one other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.  
Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the chair.  He invited her to sit down.  He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her.  She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her.  After sitting together at the table for awhile, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded.  They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music.They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing.  She nodded, and they got up to dance.  They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.  Back at their table, the young lady took a nap kin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.  

To this day, he has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."