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 Post subject: Short and Cute Jokes
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 12:43 pm 
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On Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair drinking beer and
watching my wife mow the lawn.  The neighbor lady from across the street
was so outraged that she came over and shouted at me,

"You should be hung!"  

I took a drink from my Bottle of Bud Light, wiped the cold foam
from my lips, lifted my darkened Ray Ban sunglasses and stared directly
into the eyes of this nosey a$$ neighbor and then calmly replied,
"I am.  That's why she cuts the grass."


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 Post subject: Re: Short and Cute Jokes
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 1:14 pm 
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I went shopping for some camouflage pants.  I didn't see any.

I bought some instant water.  I didn't know what to add.

The invisible man married the invisible woman.  Their children weren't much to look at either.

If everyone IS against you, are you still paranoid?

Okay, I'll stop now.  You can thank me later.  LOL

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 Post subject: Re: Short and Cute Jokes
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 5:38 pm 
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what does a snail say when it rides on a turtle?









WHEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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 Post subject: Re: Short and Cute Jokes
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 6:29 pm 
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mroctober,

Thanks!  I've already emailed that one to several friends!!

Susie :)

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you do it in the car,
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[scroll]Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean...... :confused: [/scroll]


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 Post subject: Re: Short and Cute Jokes
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 7:28 pm 
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Quote:
On Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair drinking beer and
watching my wife mow the lawn.




OK,  I just read this, and you've got me cracking up so much I can't see beyond my own tears....  Watching your wife mow the lawn !!   As if we're to believe you're married ?   OK let me read on and see if I can locate a punchline to this LMAO


Larry,  Don't get me started on Stephen Wright Jokes.... I'm still attempting to solve the riddle about strapping a piece of toast buttered-side up onto the back of a cat, and throwing the cat in the air.. Would the cat land on it's paws ?  or would the toast always land buttered side up, and the cat would end up on it's back ?

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 Post subject: Re: Short and Cute Jokes
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 7:36 pm 
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I put instant coffee in the microwave once and almost went back in time.
-Steven wright

He's a lucky man, he's married to Mrs. Wright.


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 Post subject: Re: Short and Cute Jokes
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 8:07 pm 
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Steven....No woman would be Crazy enough to marry me....I snore. and love being single too much. been a bachalor for 19 years now ya think I would have my Bachalors degree allready.......maybe I don't cause of bad grammer and bad spelling.
Besides the fact that I'm Hung Like an elavator button.


either way....mom says Im still cute...Thats all that matters


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 Post subject: Re: Short and Cute Jokes
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 8:10 pm 
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Quote:
Steven....No woman would be Crazy enough to marry me



The secret is catching one during an off, vulnerable moment Michael !   Sometimes they even learn to love us....  It's amazing the things people can get attached too... Weird looking pet's,  plants, rocks....



OK,  you do have a point,  we don't really stand a chance :(

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 Post subject: Re: Short and Cute Jokes
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 8:10 pm 
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what was the dogs  Name in the Jetsons cartoon?


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 Post subject: Re: Short and Cute Jokes
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 8:13 pm 
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That's a great question for Dave, (Singing Squid).  Because to be honest, I don't even remember there being one.

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 Post subject: Re: Short and Cute Jokes
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 8:13 pm 
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Steven Kaplan @ Tue Jul 25, 2006 11:13 pm wrote:
That's a great question for Dave, Singing Squid.  Because to be honest, I don't even remember their being one.
Me too neither.


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 Post subject: Re: Short and Cute Jokes
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 8:15 pm 
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I have a feeling Michael is setting us up for yet another joke, Chuck !   It's that slapstick stuff coming on !

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 Post subject: Re: Short and Cute Jokes
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 8:16 pm 
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astro silly


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 Post subject: Re: Short and Cute Jokes
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 8:17 pm 
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dup post


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 Post subject: Re: Short and Cute Jokes
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 8:22 pm 
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OK,  I give up.

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 Post subject: Re: Short and Cute Jokes
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 8:24 pm 
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too slow


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 Post subject: Re: Short and Cute Jokes
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 8:26 pm 
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ATM ...shhhhh


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 Post subject: Re: Short and Cute Jokes
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 8:27 pm 
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Oh yeah, Astro.


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 Post subject: Re: Short and Cute Jokes
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 8:28 pm 
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KS, Is going to view us about as fondly as Boca Raton views David Clayton Thomas.. LMAO

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 Post subject: Re: Short and Cute Jokes
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 8:30 pm 
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ok you win


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