Karaoke Forums

For the last three years Barb and I have sung this song together and have moved between friends, more than friends, and several periods of not seeing/talking to each other. Even when things were very strained between us, this song would put a smile on our faces.  Since April of this year things between Barb and I haven't been better, and we're in a good place, with things going in a positive direction.  With that said, I've been working, as a man does, to move things into a more serious realm, and I'm feeling like it's about time that Barb and I call this for what is, make this an execlusive relationship and see where it goes.

I've thought about doing something surprising and shocking around this song (no not producing a million dollars being one of them) and started poking around on eBay and discovered that the harder pieces, or what I thought would be the harder pieces, were very easy to find.

So here is my plan for sometime in the future, when I have all the props pulled together and I work it out with one of the local yokel karaoke bars that would help me pull this off along with a friend or two.

As we sing the song, and the items that would be bought with the million dollars and mentioned, pull them out one by one, or not so reasonable substitutions as getting a real emu or llama is a - pretty darn near impossible and b - a sure way to guarantee Barb would not talk to me for six months (hey I'd take the monkey!).

I won't post all the lyrics, but here goes my ideas and status...

I'd buy you a house

OK, not possible here and would certainly be going overboard. But a small, real small, cheap doll house or toy house would be perfect.

I'd buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)

OK, so if I got a very small cheap doll house I would only need some small cheap doll house furniture to go with the house.

Well, I'd buy you a K-Car
(A nice Reliant automobile)

This is where eBay rocks! I scored a mint condition 1982 Plymouth Reliant owner's manual!!! The cool thing about Barb is although not into cars, she will appreciate that this would normally not be an easy find. I was stunned to come across this for under $10 shipped.

If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

I'm thinking a single rose

I'd build a tree fort in our yard

I'm thinking a small bonzai tree or an inxpensive obviously fake looking faux ficus tree.  The bonzai tree is sure easier to transport.

You could help, it wouldn't be that hard

This one is easy - a hammer.

Maybe we could put like a little tiny fridge in there somewhere
You know, we could just go up there and hang out
Like open the fridge and stuff
There would already be laid out foods for us
Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things

OK, a little fride is heavy and even a cheap one is $100 - but a few Slim Jims to cover the pre-wrapped sausages would be perfect, even if they don't need to be in the fridge.

Well, I'd buy you a fur coat
(But not a real fur coat that's cruel)

This is where eBay rocks again, and when I found this one I decided I need to put this plan in motion. A size large faux mink with hood for $35 shipped. Hey, when I do my Sir-Mix-A-Lot Baby Got Back it will make the perfect prop!

Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet
(Yep, like a llama or an emu)

This is easy, Target, Wal-Mart, Toys R Us, etc. etc. just need to find a cheap llama and/or emu stuffed animal. An ostrich would cover the emu.

Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains
(Ooh, all them crazy elephant bones)

Well Michael Jackson is hard up for cash (huh, huh, huh I said hard up and Michael Jackson in the same sentence) but well, having someones bones is just creepy. Ahhh, but again, eBay offered inspiration. How about a copy of the Academy Award nominated Elephant Man with Sir Anthony Hopkins. Scored for under $10, new shipped.

And If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

Another rose?  A small heart? Not sure here but not too hard to figure out.

We wouldn't have to walk to the store

Pair of cheap flip flops.  This is where having a shoes off policy in my house comes in handy.  Just need to wait until shes in my kitchen or elsewhere to grab a shoe and get the shoesize, or get my 12-year old to grab the shoe and get it.

Now, we'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more

Well, by the time I cobbled this all together I could probably got a limo for three hours, but I'm thinking a toy limo will do just fine.

We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner

This is easy - one box of Kraft Mac & Cheese!

And buy really expensive ketchups with it
That's right, all the fanciest dijon ketchups!

This line is hysterical as there is no such thing as dijon ketchup. But Heinz does make some flavored ketchups that would certainly cover this one.

Well, I'd buy you a green dress
(But not a real green dress, that's cruel)

Actually, I think Barb with her chestnut hair and green/hazel eyes would look great in a green dress, but the theme here is not a real green dress as that is cruel. So I'm thinking a purposely hideous green dress, the more hideous the better, either way to small or way to big, again, obviously the wrong size, from one of the el cheapo resale shops in the area. Something under $10 - think Good Will or Salvation Army.  When it comes to my part, "but not a real green dress, that's cruel," I would throw it over my shoulder with a shrug instead of giving it to her.

Well, I'd buy you some art
(A Picasso or a Garfunkel)

Score! I found a Picasso poster print of The Lovers on eBay for about $10 shipped. I'll get an el cheapo you do it yourself frame at Wal-Mart for it.

Well, I'd buy you a monkey

This one is easy - I'm thinking one of the cymbol playing monkeys. Spencer Gifts?

If I had a million dollars
I'd buy your love

I'm thinking a million dollar faux oversized check. We have an oversized printer at work that I could slip in on a weekend and print out, and then mount on cardboard laying around the house.

I'd be rich

We have always sang, "we'd be rich," when we get to this line, and I'm thinking a faux sack of money at the end.

After this has been accomplished, and hopefully pressing the flesh with the folks who will wander over to the table to say great job and how did you pull that off - pop the question so to speak about moving this up to the next level.

Got the fur coat, Picasso, Elephant Man, hammer, toy limo, and the K-car covered.  A lot more stuff to go.  Hope to do this around late August or September.  I have two venues in mind, that I know would help me do this (e.g. drop the props off early and help with some kind of setup to pull them out so it is all just a big surprise).

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Despite the internet rumor, Karaoke is not Japanese for "drunk buffoon with microphone."  However, "rotation," is Japanese for wait your damn turn!

They are all blood suckers.     We are just "suckers."  LMAO

So when I got home tonight I did my long stand ritual. Drive up to mailbox, take out mail, sort mail on the spot, move on. Tuesday is everyone sends their flier out day and I get a big stack of stuff from grocery stores, Target, Wal-Mart, etc. etc. etc. Although it would be Foolish of me to clip some coupons I simply don't have the time and I would normally hand this stack of junk directly to my son, or put in the car seat next to me and move on. I can't stress enough, I NEVER look at this stuff.

For reasons I will never understand I flipped open the stack and my eye was caught by a Big Lots! circular. What did I find?

Maybe we could put like a little tiny fridge in there somewhere
You know, we could just go up there and hang out
Like open the fridge and stuff
There would already be laid out foods for us
Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things

Yup. You got it. A little tiny fridge. And it is TINY, basically can only hold a six pack, runs on AC or DC power and was only $30. The other thing that is perfect is it is so small and so light I could pick it up one handed (other hand would have a mike) and will be hand it to Barb, complete with those pre-wrapped sausages inside.

I love it when a plan comes together!

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Despite the internet rumor, Karaoke is not Japanese for "drunk buffoon with microphone."  However, "rotation," is Japanese for wait your damn turn!

This would be a great routine to perform for local karaoke contests as well where crowd responce a big factor in the judging. Have you and your buddy pick a random old lady, young girl, or hottie out of the audience and perfom this routine as you sing.

Cheesy gimmicks always work for the typical karaoke contest, and this is one is stright up Cheddar!!

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C Mc
KJ, FL

Great idea.  I love cornball stuff like this and I've always liked that song.  I haven't the energy to count up how many items you're going to have to coordinate on-stage but it's a bunch.  It'll be a miracle if you can pull it off without a hitch, but if you can it will be priceless.

Let us know how it turns out.

Larry

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"Life is too short for diet soda and lite beer"

I love it.  Definitely let us know how it goes.

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Reward: nine yen in drawer.

How romantic! She will love you even more for this.
Fantastic idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have to let us know what happens.

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[shadow=pink][glow=deepskyblue]. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
[updown]~*~ MONKEY BUSINESS KARAOKE~*~ [/shadow][/updown][/glow]

So another update.

I still need, the house and the furniture for the house.  Not worrying about this one as this is REAL easy to nail, and could also poke around the local resale shops to find an orphaned toy house.

The owner's manual for the 1982 Plymouth Reliant is a done deal.

Need a bonzai tree - but like the house, I know this is a very easy one to find so I'm not freaking out about this.

Hammer - got it (actually have three hammers at home) and I have a smaller, lighter one and that is the one I will use.

I have the tiny fridge, and pre-wrapped sausages are another no brainer.

Got the fur coat, and it has shipped.

I got the llama and emu off of eBay.  The llama was easy, the emu was HARD!  Lots of ostriches out there that folks are calling emus, but I found a great one - it was pricier than I wanted to pay, $19.95 but it looks like a very nice toy.  Both of these have shipped.

John Merrick's remains - the Elephant Man DVD has shipped!

Need the flip flops - got to find out her shoe size first.

Got the toy limo.

Kraft Mac & Cheese, need to pick up two boxes - and that bottle of Heinz ketchup.

Green dress - need to get that one but again, not thinking this is hard.

Got the Picasso and it has shipped!

Didn't like any of the toy monkeys on eBay so need to find one in the real world.

So basically all the things that would be hard or harder to find are now covered.  I figured a couple of hours of running around will nail the rest of it.

Thanks for the ideas and feedback - appreciated.

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Despite the internet rumor, Karaoke is not Japanese for "drunk buffoon with microphone."  However, "rotation," is Japanese for wait your damn turn!

My llama, emu and fur coat have arrived and were waiting for me on my return from Florida.  

_________________
Despite the internet rumor, Karaoke is not Japanese for "drunk buffoon with microphone."  However, "rotation," is Japanese for wait your damn turn!

My Picasso and owner's manual to a 1982 Plymouth Reliant showed up today.  The Picasso print is AWESOME actually and could be used.  I don't think I'm going to frame it as planned, but leave it in its mailing tube - serioiusly nice print.

_________________
Despite the internet rumor, Karaoke is not Japanese for "drunk buffoon with microphone."  However, "rotation," is Japanese for wait your damn turn!

Down to just four items:

1)  Pre-wrapped sausages (to be picked up closer to the date)

2)  Bonzai tree (to be picked up closer to the date)

3)  Toy monkey (haven't found one I like)

4)  Flip-flops (hope to get intel on shoe size this weekend)

My Elephant Man DVD has not showed up yet despite my 7/18/06 order so I'm getting a bit nervous I'm might have got hosed on eBay (first time for everything).

_________________
Despite the internet rumor, Karaoke is not Japanese for "drunk buffoon with microphone."  However, "rotation," is Japanese for wait your damn turn!