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Chuck2
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 Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:48 am |
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Singing Squid @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:46 pm wrote: I'm not sure if I should be proud or scared that I didn't need a dictionary to decipher you two  Don't be scared my friend it is merely an anagram for sacred. That is something that scares me.
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Chuck2
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 11:00 am |
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lbister @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:36 pm wrote: Chuck,
I'm glad you got that off your chest. In that it was getting to the point where your chest was beginning to resemble Dolly Parton's you must feel a vast sense of relief. I myself, was particularly concerned that you might actually fall into a faint with potentially tragic repercussions. Had, for example, Texas GiGi found you unconscious, still wearing your Dolly Parton chest the resulting stress might have been too much for the poor girl to handle.
Congrats for having weathered the storm with minimal damage.
Thank God it was only the Oxford dictionary that fell on your head and not the Webster's they had in my high school. That thing would have crushed your head like a grape. You'd have had a lot more to wipe off your robe.
Sorry I won't be able to attend the flogging. That's not my specialty. I tend to be more conventional in my predilections prefering the relative simplicity of your good old American T&A to the more sordid goings on that have been rampant (hmmm, a poor choice of words?) in some of the European countries for the past several hundred years.
Larry Thanks for the flattering metaphor too.
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lbister
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 11:03 am |
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Singing Squid @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 12:46 pm wrote: I'm not sure if I should be proud or scared that I didn't need a dictionary to decipher you two Be scared . . . be very scared. At least you didn't claim to understand it. That would have been too scary. If I actually understood half of the things I say I probably couldn't live with myself. But then, apparently, no one else can live with me either. So often I find myself siding with myself against myself. It's a real downer when I gang up on me, supported by a chearing cast of thousands.
Oops. Sorry. I seem to have drifted off into a moment of mental regurgitation. Must have been something I read.
[Disclaimer: The patient has now received both his medication and the gentle ministrations of Nurse Etta Bosom. Etta follows in the professional footsteps of her three siblings and collectively they are known locally as the Nursing Bosoms. They, however, are only part of a much larger extended familiy known as the Big Bosoms. It is a special sight indeed to observe Etta as she bends over the now recumbant and sleeping Larry to wipe a spot of drool off his lower lip. Actually it's a special sight to watch Etta bending over anytime . . . .]
[Editor's note: This has gone on longer than intended and included information that innocents such as Chuck and Kap should not be exposed to lest it disturb them far more than they are already disturbed.]
ANY ONE WITH ANY SENSE SHOULD COMPLETELY IGNORE THIS POST. If I had had more sense I would have printed that disclaimer at the top rather than at the bottom of this post.
Larry
_________________
"Life is too short for diet soda and lite beer"
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Chuck2
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 11:06 am |
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lbister @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 2:03 pm wrote: Singing Squid @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 12:46 pm wrote: I'm not sure if I should be proud or scared that I didn't need a dictionary to decipher you two Be scared . . . be very scared. At least you didn't claim to understand it. That would have been too scary. If I actually understood half of the things I say I probably couldn't live with myself. But then, apparently, no one else can live with me either. So often I find myself siding with myself against myself. It's a real downer when I gang up on me, supported by a chearing cast of thousands. Oops. Sorry. I seem to have drifted off into a moment of mental regurgitation. Must have been something I read. [Disclaimer: The patient has now received both his medication and the gentle ministrations of Nurse Etta Bosom. Etta follows in the professional footsteps of her three siblings and collectively they are known locally as the Nursing Bosoms. They, however, are only part of a much larger extended familiy known as the Big Bosoms. It is a special sight indeed to observe Etta as she bends over the now recumbant and sleeping Larry to wipe a spot of drool off his lower lip. Actually it's a special sight to watch Etta bending over anytime . . . .] [Editor's note: This has gone on longer than intended and included information that innocents such as Chuck and Kap should not be exposed to lest it disturb them far more than they are already disturbed.] ANY ONE WITH ANY SENSE SHOULD COMPLETELY IGNORE THIS POST. If I had had more sense I would have printed that disclaimer at the top rather than at the bottom of this post. Larry  LMAO LMAO
Ahem, sniff. What post.
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Sinnamon
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 12:55 pm |
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AtM @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 12:42 pm wrote: Being a person of diverse chromosomes, x and y; I generally give such monosyllabic responses as yes or no. It may seem like a half-hearted attempt at communication but it keeps me from throwing a wrench into the complexity of the brain that is formed in the half of the population that carries redundant chromosomes (women). After some time of using only retorts of the single syllable persuasion in response to communique from the persuasive gender, I build up a stockpile of unused, superfluous words. These words must be dispatched to allow my simpler mind to return to proper function. This is my release, this thread, this forum, this day. As the words pass my keyboard into the wild abyss that we call the internet, I feel the pressure wane. I will then either return to the living-room to continue watching the DVR's generous supply of cartoons, or I may just faint. I am beginning to feel weak. I will soon resume my normal schedule of simple compliance. My common-law wife will love me again and I will be free of the burden of the words in my head that repeat with the resonance and tone of Patrick Stewart in the role of Captain Jean-Luc Picard from "Star Trek: The Next Generation". My mind will be left with the one remaining thought that all women know of men to be subjectively thinking, "Number One, engage."  Please forgive me the preceding rant . I cannot defend, nor will I delete it. It must stand alone as an example to me of what I become without proper maintenance. I am embarrassed by my own verbosity and must be flogged. Who will have the honors? Hang on...let me grab my whip from off the bedpost...brb LMAO _________________ [glow=violet] **Sing like nobody's listening...live like there's no tomorrow**[/glow]
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Sinnamon
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 12:57 pm |
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Singing Squid @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:46 pm wrote: I'm not sure if I should be proud or scared that I didn't need a dictionary to decipher you two It starts as a simple joke thread and I go and leave those two unsupervised...that'll teach me... _________________ [glow=violet] **Sing like nobody's listening...live like there's no tomorrow**[/glow]
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Sinnamon
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:02 pm |
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lbister @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 2:03 pm wrote: Singing Squid @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 12:46 pm wrote: I'm not sure if I should be proud or scared that I didn't need a dictionary to decipher you two Be scared . . . be very scared. At least you didn't claim to understand it. That would have been too scary. If I actually understood half of the things I say I probably couldn't live with myself. But then, apparently, no one else can live with me either. So often I find myself siding with myself against myself. It's a real downer when I gang up on me, supported by a chearing cast of thousands. Oops. Sorry. I seem to have drifted off into a moment of mental regurgitation. Must have been something I read. [Disclaimer: The patient has now received both his medication and the gentle ministrations of Nurse Etta Bosom. Etta follows in the professional footsteps of her three siblings and collectively they are known locally as the Nursing Bosoms. They, however, are only part of a much larger extended familiy known as the Big Bosoms. It is a special sight indeed to observe Etta as she bends over the now recumbant and sleeping Larry to wipe a spot of drool off his lower lip. Actually it's a special sight to watch Etta bending over anytime . . . .] [Editor's note: This has gone on longer than intended and included information that innocents such as Chuck and Kap should not be exposed to lest it disturb them far more than they are already disturbed.] ANY ONE WITH ANY SENSE SHOULD COMPLETELY IGNORE THIS POST. If I had had more sense I would have printed that disclaimer at the top rather than at the bottom of this post. Larry 
Oh... I meant....what post?? _________________ [glow=violet] **Sing like nobody's listening...live like there's no tomorrow**[/glow]
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Steven Kaplan
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:46 pm |
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Quote: In that it was getting to the point where your chest was beginning to resemble Dolly Parton's you must feel a vast sense of relief.
That's one of the problem's with beta-blockers. Inderal enlarges those area's even in males...One of the side-affects. It got to a point where I had two choices. Quit the inderal, or shave my moustache... Now as a lesbian, I assumed shaving the moustache would be enough, but NOPE.... ended up switching to Atenolol instead.
_________________
Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".
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Sinnamon
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 2:37 pm |
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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She does not GET YOU EXCITED -She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
She is not KINKY - She is a CREATIVE CARETAKER.
She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
She is not a TWO BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION
He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS
He does not get FALLING DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL
He does not act like a TOTAL ARSE - He develops a case of RECTAL CRANIAL INVERSION
He is not a SEX MACHINE - He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED
He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY
He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
 _________________ [glow=violet] **Sing like nobody's listening...live like there's no tomorrow**[/glow]
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Sinnamon
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 3:00 pm |
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Rejection Lines From Women
(and What They Mean)
I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")
There's a slight difference in our ages.
(You are one Jurassic geezer.)
I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
(You are the ugliest jerk I've ever laid eyes upon.)
My life is too complicated right now.
(I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)
I've got a boyfriend
(who's really my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's ice cream).
I don't date men where I work.
(Hey, bud, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)
It's not you, it's me.
(It's not me, it's you.)
I'm concentrating on my career.
(Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)
I'm celibate.
(I've sworn off only the men like you.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know, I know.... I shouldn't be telling all the secrets...I hope I'm not breaking the Woman Code... _________________ [glow=violet] **Sing like nobody's listening...live like there's no tomorrow**[/glow]
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Chuck2
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 3:06 pm |
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I was told all of those.
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Sinnamon
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 3:09 pm |
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AtM @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 6:06 pm wrote: I was told all of those. I use the "I think of you as a brother" one a lot... LMAO _________________ [glow=violet] **Sing like nobody's listening...live like there's no tomorrow**[/glow]
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Sinnamon
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 3:27 pm |
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The Lonely Little Brain Cell
Once upon a time there was a female brain cell, which by mistake happened to end up in a man's head.
She looked around nervously but it was all empty and quiet.
"Hello", she cried, but there was no answer.
"Is there anyone here?" She cried a little louder, but still no answer.
Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled at the top of her voice. "HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE??"
Then she heard a faint voice from far, far away..............
"We're down here..."
_________________ [glow=violet] **Sing like nobody's listening...live like there's no tomorrow**[/glow]
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Chuck2
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 3:27 pm |
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I think that's the one that hurts the least.
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Sinnamon
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 3:49 pm |
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AtM @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 6:27 pm wrote: I think that's the one that hurts the least.
Well I do try to let a fella down as easily as possible if I'm not interested...I'm not a complete biotch...only about 90% LOL _________________ [glow=violet] **Sing like nobody's listening...live like there's no tomorrow**[/glow]
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Chuck2
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 4:06 pm |
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Sinnamon @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 6:49 pm wrote: AtM @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 6:27 pm wrote: I think that's the one that hurts the least. Well I do try to let a fella down as easily as possible if I'm not interested...I'm not a complete biotch...only about 90% LOL Well it seems the other %10 makes up for it a lot.
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phatrat
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 4:09 pm |
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i quit trying to figure women out looooooooooong ago...i live by the simple motto that women are evil and men are stupid.. case in point.
if a women decides she wants a little "excitement" for the evening, she need only call a few friends and out they go. she will look around and joke with her friends about all the guys in the place. then when she is "ready" she will pounce on an unsuspecting man and, wah bam, off they go back to her place for some excitment.
men on the other hand (tee hee) have no such guarantees. they might pick up an "excited" female, but the odds are he will go home empty handed (metaphorically speaking).
also, there is the one word that a woman will say that will knock a man to his knees. and that word is NO.
men, being stupid, will do anything the woman says (if he thinks he has a chance) to get that no turned into a maybe, cause a maybe means there's a chance the man will have some "excitement".
see, women are evil (NO) men are stupid (will do anything to make that no a yes)
ergo, isis has "asked" me to do the laundry and dishes, so much for "excitement"
chuck, great verbosity!!!
larry, are you and chuck related? it's too scary to listen (read) you two...it's almost the same mind (you two should be scared)
_________________
[scroll]we're men, manly men, we're men in tights[/scroll]
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Sinnamon
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 4:12 pm |
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AtM @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:06 pm wrote: Sinnamon @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 6:49 pm wrote: AtM @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 6:27 pm wrote: I think that's the one that hurts the least. Well I do try to let a fella down as easily as possible if I'm not interested...I'm not a complete biotch...only about 90% LOL Well it seems the other %10 makes up for it a lot. Yeah the 10% sweetheart part of me most generally rules...unless of course you have pi$$ed me off in some way....then the 90% is comin' atcha full blast and you don't want that...trust me... _________________ [glow=violet] **Sing like nobody's listening...live like there's no tomorrow**[/glow]
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Sinnamon
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 4:17 pm |
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phatrat @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:09 pm wrote: i quit trying to figure women out looooooooooong ago...i live by the simple motto that women are evil and men are stupid.. case in point.
if a women decides she wants a little "excitement" for the evening, she need only call a few friends and out they go. she will look around and joke with her friends about all the guys in the place. then when she is "ready" she will pounce on an unsuspecting man and, wah bam, off they go back to her place for some excitment.
men on the other hand (tee hee) have no such guarantees. they might pick up an "excited" female, but the odds are he will go home empty handed (metaphorically speaking).
also, there is the one word that a woman will say that will knock a man to his knees. and that word is NO.
men, being stupid, will do anything the woman says (if he thinks he has a chance) to get that no turned into a maybe, cause a maybe means there's a chance the man will have some "excitement".
see, women are evil (NO) men are stupid (will do anything to make that no a yes)
ergo, isis has "asked" me to do the laundry and dishes, so much for "excitement"
chuck, great verbosity!!!
larry, are you and chuck related? it's too scary to listen (read) you two...it's almost the same mind (you two should be scared)
So what you're basically saying is men are easy...but that isn't news to us ladies...
As for us being EVIL...well, maybe...but I prefer the term "SELECTIVE" LMAO _________________ [glow=violet] **Sing like nobody's listening...live like there's no tomorrow**[/glow]
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