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 Post subject: Re: Morals and Ethics
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:13 am 
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Karaoke  Kelley @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 8:44 am wrote:
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. PERHAPS you made a mistake hiring, or keeping your brother as long as you did ?   These are tough situations.

Of course hindsight is 20/20 but yes keeeping him after he got "stuck on stupid" ( one of my favorite sayings if you cant tell LOL ) and lost the first 2 day a week show was probably the wrong thing to do we have said it before if it were anyone else they would have been gone. We did feel like at times we were too leniant, but ... ( have no excuse)  other than " hes my brother" guess thats our fault .
Dont know if youve read my other posts in the what to do now thread but got the word we now dont have a show at all ( not anythng to do w/ my brother ) and I guess this is bugging me more than it normally would because of having to step up the game and get another gig. Just a little antsy I guess.
We'll make it . But thank God this isnt paying the bills !! LOL


I believe I have read most if not all of your posts but I didn't pick up on the fact that you don't have any gigs at all right now.  I can't imagine anything worse than a business that has no business.  I've been there and you certainly have all my sympathy.  Generating new business is my least favorite, and for me the hardest, part of the entertainment business.  

Going forward it sounds like you've learned a few good lessons.  Don't underestimate the value of that (even though it hurts like crazy).  Smart people make mistakes, but only once.  Build on what you've learned and it will make you stronger.

So don't let it get you down.  Get out there and do what needs to be done to rustle up some new business.  Find out all of the places that have karaoke in your area and visit the owners.  Let them know what you have to offer and how what you do may differ from the competition—you need a point of differentiation—and show them how your show will benefit them.  I have been known to do a "freebie" once in a while just to get my foot in the door.  There's nothing wrong with that.  

Personally, I wouldn't poach on a friend's show.  But I would ask everyone I know for suggestions.  And don't hesitate to ask for the busniness; the worst that will happen it that they will say no.  Until you ask for the business it's a "no" anyway because you're not playing there.

My duo is very luck because we have a manager.  She's an old friend of mine, an experienced sales pro, who suggested that we let her do this.  It's a hobby but she really likes us and that's her motivation.  

Her method is very simple and direct and it works like a charm, mostly because she knows what she's doing and is very good at it.  Time after time she has walked into a bar, asked for the owner and when she meets him she sticks out her hand and says, "Hi, I'm Jayne.  I'm here to talk to you about a fantastic band that you and your patrons are going to love!"  Most of the time she walks out of the place with a signed contract.  

Not everyone can do that, but you can work out a variation that works for you.

Good luck!

Larry

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 Post subject: Re: Morals and Ethics
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:16 am 
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Smart people make mistakes, but only once.  Build on what you've learned and it will make you stronger.


ONLY ONCE !! Stronger indeed !! Thanks for the encouragement  :hi5:

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 Post subject: Re: Morals and Ethics
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:23 am 
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Smart people make mistakes, but only once.



Oh Larry,  You had to go and say this in a philosophical thread, didn't you  LMAO


If that's the case,  what about "forgiveness" ?   "Giving a second chance" ?   A GF or spouse making a mistake, yet learning from it, and becoming a faithful life partner from that point on as a result ?    WHEN do we, and when do we not take certain risks ?    Is it correct to assume ALL don't learn from their mistakes ?   This is what I struggle with,  Black and WHite....  Don't tell me I'm correct in being this rigid   LMAO

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 Post subject: Re: Morals and Ethics
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:28 am 
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If that's the case,  what about "forgiveness" ?   "Giving a second chance" ?   A GF or spouse making a mistake, yet learning from it, and becoming a faithful life partner from that point on as a result ?    WHEN do we, and when do we not take certain risks ?    Is it correct to assume ALL don't learn from their mistakes ?   This is what I struggle with,  Black and WHite....  Don't tell me I'm correct in being this rigid  


Man,... You're deep !!!  LOL

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 Post subject: Re: Morals and Ethics
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:28 am 
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IOW.. Would it be wrong for Kelley to hire this brother back under all circumstances ?   Probably not !  Chances are his demon's are still his demon's... but people DO at times learn, and reform their past behaviour too... THis is where it get's tough for me...

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 Post subject: Re: Morals and Ethics
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:34 am 
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Steven Kaplan @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:28 am wrote:
IOW.. Would it be wrong for Kelley to hire this brother back under all circumstances ?   Probably not !  Chances are his demon's are still his demon's... but people DO at times learn, and reform their past behaviour too... THis is where it get's tough for me...
I wouldn't recommend it.

That is where the difference is between professional and personal relationship. Bringing him back could lead to another nail in the coffin of their relationship.

Business relationships don't allow for as much grey area as personal relationships and for good reason. Family ties are hard enough. Business ties are hard enough as well. When the two are combined as mentioned or implied before, the two can kill a relationship.

I couldn't hire a relative ever. They would see a side of that they might not like. I am hardly tolerant enough of my relatives as it is.


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 Post subject: Re: Morals and Ethics
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:34 am 
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Man,... You're deep



I know...  I take pill's for it  :(

You could've maybe thrown me off by not using any philosophical terms in your heading, there's a chance (althought slim),  I'd have missed it LOL

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 Post subject: Re: Morals and Ethics
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:35 am 
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Steven Kaplan @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:34 am wrote:
I know...  I take pill's for it  :(
Me too buddy. LMAO


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 Post subject: Re: Morals and Ethics
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:37 am 
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Kap,

Interesting point.  

People, the smart ones, do learn from their mistakes.  In fact I recommend mistakes as a great way to achieve both knowledge and wisdom.

Second chances?  Why not?  And even third ones sometimes.  If you are advocating Kelley giving the brother a second chance I can't fault you.  My reading of what she wrote gave me the impression that this guy has had quite a few chances and yet learned about "cause and effect".  I may have been reading something into what was written that wasn't there.

I think we all struggle with knowing when to give someone another chance and when to say, "I believe I've learned all I need to know."  I wish I had a great answer for you but I don't.

Like I think most of us are, I am a "seeker" when it comes to truth and wisdom.  I've learned that black and white exist at the very extremes of the truth spectrum and that the vast middle area is filled with shades of gray.  

But here's something that I do believe is the truth (and you get this for free, you lucky dog); my advice may well be worth what it costs—and that's something worth considering before you accept it.

Shame on you for turning on my philosophical mode.  I often get preachy and it's very hard to turn off again.  I thought I had given this up for Lent.  Looks like another mistake on my part. LOL

Larry

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 Post subject: Re: Morals and Ethics
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:38 am 
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IOW.. Would it be wrong for Kelley to hire this brother back under all circumstances ?   Probably not !  Chances are his demon's are still his demon's... but people DO at times learn, and reform their past behaviour too... THis is where it get's tough for me...


Ok really ,... my brother knows how much this hurts me what hes doing and as many times as weve asked him not to be at our gigs he does it anyways. He doesnt just HAVE demons He IS a demon LOL No really he hasnt learned ANYTHING but how to get under our skin. So wouldnt even consider hiring him back. In fact a week or so ago when he asked for his job back he went to my husband not me b/c he knew what I would say , he asked my husband how much a** do I have to kiss to come back?  I asked my husband if he told him not enough LOL But he didnt.He politly told him that we both agreed that we didnt want to go down that road again. Which was probably the more professional way to do it.

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 Post subject: Re: Morals and Ethics
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:43 am 
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I know...  I take pill's for it  

You could've maybe thrown me off by not using any philosophical terms in your heading, there's a chance (althought slim),  I'd have missed it


LMAO

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 Post subject: Re: Morals and Ethics
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:44 am 
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I wouldn't recommend it.

That is where the difference is between professional and personal relationship. Bringing him back could lead to another nail in the coffin of their relationship.

Business relationships don't allow for as much grey area as personal relationships and for good reason. Family ties are hard enough. Business ties are hard enough as well. When the two are combined as mentioned or implied before, the two can kill a relationship.

I couldn't hire a relative ever. They would see a side of that they might not like. I am hardly tolerant enough of my relatives as it is.



Excellent points Chuck.


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Second chances?  Why not?  And even third ones sometimes.  If you are advocating Kelley giving the brother a second chance I can't fault you.  My reading of what she wrote gave me the impression that this guy has had quite a few chances and yet learned about "cause and effect".  I may have been reading something into what was written that wasn't there.


You are absolutely correct.   In this particular case it would likely be taking an unnecessary risk...Odd's are given his age, and all the chances they DID give him...rehiriing him would be a foolish move...  Great point Larry...

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 Post subject: Re: Morals and Ethics
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:47 am 
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Karaoke  Kelley @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 9:28 am wrote:
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If that's the case,  what about "forgiveness" ?   "Giving a second chance" ?   A GF or spouse making a mistake, yet learning from it, and becoming a faithful life partner from that point on as a result ?    WHEN do we, and when do we not take certain risks ?    Is it correct to assume ALL don't learn from their mistakes ?   This is what I struggle with,  Black and WHite....  Don't tell me I'm correct in being this rigid  


Man,... You're deep !!!  LOL


Just remember there's a difference between "full" and "full of it".   LMAO

Larry

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 Post subject: Re: Morals and Ethics
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:47 am 
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In fact a week or so ago when he asked for his job back he went to my husband not me b/c he knew what I would say , he asked my husband how much a** do I have to kiss to come back?



"crafty" manipulative people like this drive me BONKERS !   I avoid them at ALL cost now.

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 Post subject: Re: Morals and Ethics
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:48 am 
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Just remember there's a difference between "full" and "full of it".  




Are the two mutually exclusive ?

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 Post subject: Re: Morals and Ethics
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:50 am 
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Steven Kaplan @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:48 am wrote:
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Just remember there's a difference between "full" and "full of it".  




Are the two mutually exclusive ?
To answer a rhetorical question and starting the answer with a preposition, I think not.


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 Post subject: Re: Morals and Ethics
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:51 am 
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Karaoke  Kelley @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 9:28 am wrote:
Quote:
If that's the case,  what about "forgiveness" ?   "Giving a second chance" ?   A GF or spouse making a mistake, yet learning from it, and becoming a faithful life partner from that point on as a result ?    WHEN do we, and when do we not take certain risks ?    Is it correct to assume ALL don't learn from their mistakes ?   This is what I struggle with,  Black and WHite....  Don't tell me I'm correct in being this rigid  


Man,... You're deep !!!  


Just remember there's a difference between "full" and "full of it".    

Larry



LMAO  LMAO

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 Post subject: Re: Morals and Ethics
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:52 am 
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You guys are too funny !!! LMAO  LMAO  LMAO

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 Post subject: Re: Morals and Ethics
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:53 am 
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Karaoke  Kelley @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:52 am wrote:
You guys are too funny !!! LMAO  LMAO  LMAO
Glad we could help.

We'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip the bartenders and waitresses. LMAO


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 Post subject: Re: Morals and Ethics
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:54 am 
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Karaoke  Kelley @ Thu Jul 13, 2006 9:52 am wrote:
You guys are too funny !!! LMAO  LMAO  LMAO


We try really hard!   LOL

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