Karaoke Forums

Ex-girlfriend works as a bartender for one of the bars I karaoke at.    We use to live together, now we date.   A guy she has no interest in keeps telling her he loves her and wants to go to dinner.    This has been going on for about two weeks.   Each time she tells him no.    With her no means no, in no uncertain terms.   Sunday night he kept it up all night long.  She would go hide from him out in my van, in the kitchen of the bar, the ladies restroom.  He kept following her begging and crying and interfering with her trying to get past him.    She tried to maintain her professional appearence because of me and her bartending job.   She warned him to knock it off, to no avail.   He asked her at one point what they were going to do about me.  She told him nothing and to get away from her and stop everything.

Quitting time, he's waiting outside behind my van.  She was in the van trying to stay away from him.    I try to get past him and he starts blocking me like we were two stepping.    The whole time he's asking me "What the %$#&?   I said "What the &%$# what?   2 times, 3 time he says "What the &%$# about her?"   I said "None of your &%$#*%& business, get the &%$# out of my way."   He blocked me from getting past and knocks me into the back door of the van.  

We start going round and round, she got involved at one point.   Now he's on the gound and I'm on top.   Somewhere between 20-40 punches to his left cheek, I walked away from him.  She went to call the cops.  

Before the cops came, he tried to come back in the bar for some more of me.   Girlfriend (107 lbs of her) and the girl on duty were in betweeen me and him.   He weighs at least 180-190.    Twenty more than me.    Girlfriend literally kicked him out the door and into the parking lot and he landed on his back.    Paramedics and a trip to the hospital for him.  He looked like he had a grapefruit under his cheek.    My knuckles are swelled and hurt a little.   We both (me and him) are getting citations and a trip to the magistates office.    He was crying "He beat me up, He beat me up."   "I'm gonna sue you."   Found out he sues everybody.    White trash little weasel.

Monday night I get 14 harrassing calls from, guess who, between 12:45 and 3:15?   Wednesday I'm telling the bar owner to decide who will be there on her karaoke nights, him or me, it won't be both.   This isn't over yet.  Girlfiend's going to file stalking charges.  One of his buddies called the bar owner and told her that this guy has been stalking her.    I'm filing harassment by communication charges.   Big mess.

Whoa, I don't know what to say really... I have been in a position like that where I have had guys harass me as well. It never escalated to that point, thank god and I am lot more than 107 lbs and can stand my ground pretty well. Sometimes it doesn't matter though, it's scary when someone won't leave you alone. I am glad to hear you were there to help her, I can't imagine what would have happened if she hadn't had help. The guy needs to be locked up (isn't stalking illegal there?) and I certainly hope that the court laughs at him when he tries to bring that one before the judge. I think that people are given way too much liberty with their "freedoms" at times, stalking seems to be one of those. I hope you didn't get too banged up in the scuffle, and I hope she's ok.  :hug:

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Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. (I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.)

You call the cops and she gets a restraining order. Thats waht you do. You dont screw around with this knucklehead. HE"S STALKING HER. Get him ARRESTED  PRONTO----or she will end up a STATISTIC. And as for the bar---they should have thrown him out and had him arrested!

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"You know that I sing the Blues and I do not suffer fools. When I'm on that silver mic, it's gonna cut ya, just like a knife"-The SWINGCAT

Kurt is exactly right.  The manager and/or owner should have been called to step in before all this escalated to a fight situation and the police probably should have been called in.  I can sure understand your frustration though and deciding to take things into your own hands.  This guy isn't playing with a full deck for sure.

This will mean little or nothing to you but I am truly sorry that you have to go through that, Bigdog.

You seem to be a compassionate person in this thread.

Whoa man, really sorry to hear about all that. Next time do me a favor. Just shoot him in the foot, then go up and say, 'you got lucky punk, had Maninblack been here, he would've aimed about three feet higher'
You take care of yourself.

James
Maninblack

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I serve no man and am loyal to only one God.

Being critical of a person's success in any respect speaks volumes about the lack of your own.

Love as though you've never been hurt, Dance as though no one's watching, Sing as though God Himself were listening.

"Anybody else wanna limp?!"

gotta agree with kurt here, too!  also round up any witnessess there may have been.  even if they don't want to talk, a subpoena to court may change thier mind.  i have only been accosted outside the bar once, and that was from a female so it wasn't quite the same situation.  sounds like you tried to handle it diplomatically but this vermin wouldn't let you.

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All work and no play make Homer something something

How horrible for you both - I can't believe the bar owner didn't take care of the situation sooner.
You may have to go through some headaches to get it taken care of, but I'm sure everything will get ironed out. I can't imagine the courts siding with this guy. Good luck!

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[shadow=pink][glow=deepskyblue]. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
[updown]~*~ MONKEY BUSINESS KARAOKE~*~ [/shadow][/updown][/glow]

agree on the restraining order... if he violates it, he will be serving SERIOUS jail time.

As for the assault, he started it with the stalking, and shoving you against the car. AND by going back in the bar after leaving.

The bar really screwed up. Once told "you're out of here" and they try to come back, they can be arrested.

I know what I would do personally, but won't state it online. It's my personal choice on such matters.

No lawsuit threats would happen... I'm pretty sure...

This is a police matter solely.  Don't get involved.  This person obviously has esteem issues.  He's infatuated with this girl, and as has already been stated, the police need to warn him about "stalking" and "harassment",  She need's to file a police report, and if she's an employee of the bar, hopefully for the safety of people at the bar, and his repeated unstable behaviour, he WON'T be allowed on the bar property !  You don't know this person, he might be potentially dangerous, perhaps not.. But what you do know, is he's got serious emotional issues at least... If you fought with him, even exchanged one punch, they would arrest you both, assuming someone presses charges.  Don't take this type issue as your responsibility,  If you find the guy pointing a 44 muzzle at your head one night when you are getting into your car late at night, you aren't quite equipped to deal with that. This is a police issue, SHE MUST fill out a police report, and in lieu of what's already happened he should be 86'd from bar property.



Strange "Buddy",  however if she's an employee of the bar, he's a threat to her.  WHY the heck does the owner allow him on bar grounds now ?


Hey Bigdog,  Set that bar security camera over your area to capture a few attractive girls kicking you around the bar, while in the background some guy 30 lbs heavier than you, and larger than you is crying "He beat me up,  He beat me up"....  Submit it to "You Tube"... Also, have a T-shirt on that says "Big Dog". while your covering your head and these petite girls are pummeling you with their size 4 feet.... You'll likely get people Emailing you regarding doing a sit com.

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

We talked to the chief of police today.  About filing charges for the 15 harassing phone calls.  And to get a restraining order and stalking charges on him.    Can't do it til next Wednesday.   They know the guy.   He's a nut case, they know it.   I called the bar owner and told her she had to decide if he was going to be there or me.   She told the guy he wasn't to come in the bar on karaoke night.   Now she knows he likes to sue people, she knows he has some mental issues, and the cops and her suspect drugs of some type.    DAAAAA the $64,000 question is "WHY WOULD YOU WANT THIS JERK ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR BUSINESS, AT ANY TIME?"    See why I say bar owners are idiots?   She seems mad at me too.    Real mad.   If she didn't let A**HOLES hang out there in the first place it would be a non issue.    She talked to him today so she saw his chipmonk looking cheek.    The bartender tonight said it looked like he had 15 acorns in it.   oppps...   She could also be mad at me for telling her how to run her bar.(In her mind)    No....It's how I run my business.  If you want to subject everyone to this nut case, then don't be mad at me, if I don't want to.   Bar owners just don't get it.  They will never side with someone like us that makes them thousands of dollars, but they will side with someone that spends a dollar.     His drinks cost $1.10 each.   Nobody is coming to see this guy two nights a week.   He's not making her at least $50,000 a year.     What's the hard part about this question?   She doesn't have charges pressed against her, I do.   He's a jerk, but I'm the bad guy.

This is absolutely ludicrous.  The bar owner know's that this guy stalks and harasses a female bartender, she's received a call regarding stalking, know's there was a fight that culminated as the result of someone trying to protect a female employee that works at her establishment, and her way of dealing with this is...

"Then he can't come here on Karaoke night" ?


Now if I read this correctly, the female that you used to go out with, who is being stalked is a bar tender at this female bar owners establishment... and she know's this guy waits in hidden locations in the parking lot for her to come out at night, harasses her....and she's not more protective of her female employee's ?




Because he made a statement that he was assaulted by one of her employee's.. and is trying for your job now !  That's why. A bouncer might have to restrain a person, but when you start nailing him with punches, that's a problem.. You weren't qualified to handle that situation, and right OR wrong, she's libel for what happened on her property.  He CAN sue her even if you state you were defending yourself..  You were there in the capacity of someone subcontracted, or employed by her bar, additionally, it happened on HER property



Likely she's going to get sued.  Hope you don't end up fired.



Did he punch you ?   Had he been drinking THAT night, and as a result was more aggressive than usual, perhaps if the cops were called, they'd also wait for him to get into his car, turn the ignition, and assuming someone like that is weak-willed, likely drinking, he'd have been nailed with a DUI too

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

He made  several statements to a patron that he was going outside to Kick My...   The guy told me tonight.  So it sounds like a premeditated attack.   He was intentionally waiting for me to come out.    I'm not fired, yet.     He was waiting for me behind my van when I went outside.     He told the police that he tried to leave the bar and I wouldn't let him.    It's in the report.    If the bar owner gets sued it's her stupid fault for letting him in when it seems everyone knows he's a sue happy trouble maker.   The cop said he has little man syndrom.   He's always mouthing off to someone.   I had women shaking my hand tonight for pummeling him.    Everyone said he deserved it.     Girlfriend said I emphisized every word and syllable I said to him with a punch to the jaw.    MFR equals 3.    He never layed a hand on me.    I saw a flock of birds flying around his head.

I believe you.  I'm not saying "he didn't deserve it according to some".. Yet if I were the bar owner, I'd likely have a different perspective too, to be honest,  Yet If there was pending trouble, I'd have wanted to know about it too, and it would've been my responsibility to have a proper means of dealing with it.. which might mean doorman, police, etc..

Now if for some reason, the court system smiles and says,  "Oh yeah, that was generous of you to try to keep the seagull's from crapping on his head", and charges the other guy for showing such little gratitude when you were only trying to do that "Good Sumaritan" thing, and make sure he doesn't contract some form of psittacosis from bad bird droppings.... Let me know... I'm moving to your area

The damned Seagull's are so protected in Ct. I can't even defend myself.  I end up with a bleeding ulcer from impotant rage

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Regarding this, his statement to the police is perjurious. I suppose if you have witnesses that will say that's a blatant lie, and the cop's already dislike the guy.. They can nail him for Perjury, yet still... Good luck with the "Seagull Defense" That should vindicate everything !



Kudo's on your knack for proper annunciation and inflection.  Good communication skill's are always an asset

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

A perjury charge can only be laid if a witness has lied in court or a court like situation, ie a diposition.  Lying in a police statement is not a crime but it is really stupid when you are caught.  Breaking a restraining order may result in SERIOUS time but I highly doubt it, unless violence occurs.

As for defending yourself, you may only use reasonable force to protect yourself.  You could find yourself in trouble for using excessive force.  I've seen this quite a few times.  I've heard judges say you were ok until you did this, that and the other thing and the attackee wind up doing time.

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You can be strange but not a stranger

Tim,

  In this state, prior to writing a police report, you swear under oath that you are telling the truth, and falsifying information is punishable under laws of perjury. (At least that's what's been read to me). It's ultimately up to the court to decide whether or not a person perjured themselves to a notary, court officer, or public official, yet to do so deliberately is a crime. Just talking to a police officer can backfire and lead to perjury charges for offering information willingly.  That's also the importance of having an atty present.  Lying to a police officer is a felony.

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

I'd like to see where that is written in a Criminal Code or Penal Code or whatever you call it down there.  If it were in fact the case where lying to the police is a felony, the jail would be overflowed with people doing time just for that.  Show me where it is written and for what state.

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You can be strange but not a stranger

It is a crime to give false information to the police.    I will be looking into that option also.   I'm not done with chipmonk, yet.