well, i do my best to keep life fun!  after all, if i can't laugh at the expense of others, where am i to find my fun?!  since i am the product of a methodist minister and a homocide detective, i imagine my brain looks sort of like scrambled eggs inside.  the best part was that this lady was, how can i put this delicately.......HUGE!  she was definitely looking for a way to lose weight.  i didn't even tell the best part.  there was a kid in the next line who overheard the story and kept asking his dad if he could try some of the dog food they were buying!  i just know that when they got home and fed their "Fido", little johnny got a whoopin' cuz Paw found him in the dog's bowl munching away!
if anyone thinks that this was a cruel way to get my kicks, you're probably right, but it won't stop me from making crap up every cahnce i get, just to watch people's expressions!

I'm into Meow Mix myself.

It just gets real embarrassing when I cough up a fur ball.

I have a Golder Retriever.

I was buying a large bag of Pedigree at the grocery store checkout when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her no, and that I was starting The Pedigree Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in the Intensive Care Unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Pedigree nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. Since the food is nutritionally complete and perfectly healthy, I decided to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, just hanging on my every word, particularly a tall, black guy who was behind the woman I was describing the diet to.

Horrified, she asked if ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, and went on to explain that I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought the black guy was going to need assistance as he staggered to the door, laughing uproariously