Haha, that's a good one Steve. LOL
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| Author: | pflugerville [ Sun May 21, 2006 10:06 am ] |
| Post subject: | best joke EVER! |
i'd do the same thing! -------------------------------------------------------------------- A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. As they stand at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Paradise and meet their maker, God decides to grant each person one wish because of the grief they have experienced. They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done. The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too." Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted. This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous, but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off. Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and says: "Make 'em all ugly again." |
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| Author: | Charmin_Gibson [ Mon May 22, 2006 7:35 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: best joke EVER! |
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Haha, that's a good one Steve. LOL |
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| Author: | Babs [ Mon May 22, 2006 8:35 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: best joke EVER! |
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| Author: | Odie [ Mon May 22, 2006 9:42 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: best joke EVER! |
A man dies unexpectadly and ends up at the Pearly Gates. He appears rather nervous as he comes face to face with God. The man pleads with God, "please let me go back, I'm not ready to go!" God says, "it appears as if your time has come. I'm afraid that won't be possible." God asks, "Why would you possibly want to go back? Is there a loved one that you need to say goodbye to?" The man says, "No, I just need to erase my hard drive!" God says, "Oh, I was going to ask you about that!" |
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| Author: | robdogkaraoke [ Mon May 22, 2006 11:18 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: best joke EVER! |
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| Author: | Isis [ Tue May 23, 2006 4:33 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: best joke EVER! |
I really liked that one...you crack me up... Here is one for you... A pompous minister was seated next to a hillbilly on a flight across the country. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The hillbilly asked for a whiskey, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely ravaged by brazen whores than let liquor touch these lips." The hillbilly then handed his drink back to the flight attendant and said, "Shoot, me too. I didn't know we had a choice." |
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| Author: | pflugerville [ Tue May 23, 2006 4:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: best joke EVER! |
not many jokes make me laugh out loud, but that one did! save the rest of 'em for the get-together! and tell Dave he better have a hat by then! |
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| Author: | mroctober [ Wed May 24, 2006 3:07 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: best joke EVER! |
man that was good,,,,I got great responces with that one as well as this one yesterday at Karaoke. A guy walks into his House with a duck under his arm, His wife is standing there. The guy says " This is the Pig I've been Having sex with. His wife says " thats not a pig, It's a duck. The guy says "I wasnt Talking To you" |
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| Author: | Charmin_Gibson [ Wed May 24, 2006 9:08 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: best joke EVER! |
This is corny...... but I just got it in an email this morning, so I thought I'd share it: A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears at bars in Billings." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears at bars in Billings." The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears at bars in Billings" The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears at bars in Billings who are on drugs." The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs." < < < < < < < The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate." |
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| Author: | Odie [ Wed May 24, 2006 9:10 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: best joke EVER! |
Yikes!!! |
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| Author: | eben [ Wed May 24, 2006 9:49 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: best joke EVER! |
Three men end up at the pearly gates in heaven. St. Gabriel asks them how they died. The first man says "I was walking by and a refridgerator fell on me and I died instantly." St. Gabby says "Ok, you can enter now." Second man says "I came home earlier than usual and I found my wife nake on bed all sweaty and I found some mens clothing around. I was sure she was cheating on me so I went around looking for that SoB all over the house. I didn't find him but I was still angry. I went to the kitchen, lifte the fridge and threw it out the window. Right after that due to the strain of lifting the fridge, I had a heart attack and died." St. Gabby says "Ok, the fridge was an accident so you can go in." St. Gabby asks the third man, "how did you die?". The third man replied "you see, I was in this refridgerator..." |
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| Author: | Singing Squid [ Wed May 24, 2006 9:58 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: best joke EVER! |
Sent to me by my kid sister, who married an Okie... A True Okie An Okie was doing some shopping in downtown OKC. He looked up at the top of a tall building and discovered a man ready to jump. "Stop," he yelled. "Remember, you're someone who has value!" The man yelled back, "I just lost everything in the stock market!" "But remember you're important to your wife!" "She divorced me and took everything I had that was not in the stock market." "Your children, remember your children," yelled the Okie. "They never call," said the man. "Then your parents, remember your parents," yelled the Okie. "Dead as doornails," said the man. "Then think of all the Sooners football games you will miss," yelled the Okie. The man shouted, "But, I am a Texas fan!" The Okie replied, "Jump, you dumb A$$, JUMP |
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