Well, I don't want to take someone else's music, but I can't write my own either. I know it's really hard to judge or critique lyrics by just reading them, not listening to them. I usually just have my bf sit down with me after I write some, and he lets me know what he thinks. He usually just says that I write too poetic; that is, I naturally write in iambic pentameter, rhymed verse, etc. It's kinda been hard for me to stray away from the "poem-y" sounding stanzas.
Here's a set that I actually wrote recently. I add notes to myself in sometimes, like where I'd want an instrumental, or whatever...
"Was once a little girl
Surrounded by a troubled world
Reassurance always seemed
Forever far away
Promises you never kept
I’d sit out on the back porch step
I still remember, pushing back
Tears I grew to hate
And I don’t want to make you hurt the way I did
I know you feel your own pain too
But I just can’t spend my life
Believing all your lies
I love you Dad
Yes, I still do
A letter came in the mail today
Postmark some prison in the U.S.A
Another story, it’s not your fault
Guess you haven’t changed
(Instrumental)
Through all these years I kept my anger locked inside
And now I’m faced with growing up
I thought I’d cried all the tears that I could cry
But lately I’ve been crying way too much
And with this pain there comes a truth
I can’t heal the broken you
But I can pray
And I can say
I love you"
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