A Touching Story of Love and Marriage

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom. With even greater effort, he forced his boney fingers to grab the handrail and he let himself down the stairs, one stumbling set at a time.
With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven. There, on the kitchen table, spread out in rows upon wax paper, were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. Was it heaven? Or, was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife of 60 years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips were slightly parted. The wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth; seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand, driven by one last gritty effort, shakingly made its way towards a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife. "Stay out of those," she said, "they're for the funeral!"

An old man was trudging down a trail and this wee voice said hey you. He looked down and this frog said pick me up... So he was standing there with a frog in his palm.  The frog said kiss me I will turn into a beautiful woman and do anything you want... Whereupon the old man stuffed the frog in his shirt pocket.. Took a couple of steps and the frog screamed what the hell is wrong with you?  He calmy said to the frog at my age I'd rather have a talking frog.....

Milo has a very mean streak and a distorted sense of humor

I guess this wouldn't be an appropriate thread to tell my Porky and Pettle joke.