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| I am going nuts, need opinions/help https://mail.karaokescene.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=6150 |
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| Author: | Isis [ Fri Jan 20, 2006 10:42 am ] |
| Post subject: | I am going nuts, need opinions/help |
I am going nuts!!! There is this guy that goes to the bar I sing at. He does not sing on stage but he does sit at the bar right next to me and belt out the words to the songs being sung and sometimes he even gets right in my face. I can't hear a word the person onstage is singing. He is driving me away from my favorite place and I don't want to go anywhere else. How do I get him to stop????  :banghead:
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| Author: | Steven Kaplan [ Fri Jan 20, 2006 11:16 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am going nuts, need opinions/help |
I think the solution depends on two aspects 1) Are you an employee at the bar (I assume not because you mentioned favorite bar) 2) Are you just a patron Assuming you are an employee, I'd notify the bouncer, bar tender, or someone else as to what's happening, and depending on how you perceive this person's disposition to be (either appearing as harmless or possibly volatile), by either using body language, or initially politely telling him (albeit sternly) you need your space, (do this while the bar tender is watching, or another competent male is watching..realizing that someone else is observing while this happens, will give you some security and backup)... This is ONLY ASSUMING he's being somewhat aggressive and deliberately moving into your space...Otherwise with your expression, and constantly moving away from him, he "might" take the hint....Dunno... I have no idea if and what you've tried so-far.. Has sitting elsewhere helped ? Have you tried escaping his area ? Would you have such an option assuming you are an employee ? Assuming you are a patron, still notify the establishment employee's, or the bar tender, doorman, owner, etc... inquiring as to whom this pain in the @$$ person is, and also what type of person he might be.... and do one of a few things (assuming you've made concerted effort's to get away from him and that hasn't worked)... Have the doorman, or bar-tender suggest to him, "Excuse me, but maybe this lady would like her space" (assuming he's deliberately invading your personal field of space).. Than without looking at him, back away from him... Don't even need to say thank you... Another thing you can do is lie....Let him know you have the flu, and are contageous.... Assuming you feel he *MIGHT* be dangerous, stalk you, or follow you to the parking lot, make certain someone walks you to your car, see's to it you lock your doors so you can drive off... Either way, if HE'S aggressive and you can't back away from him, NOTIFY THE ESTABLISHMENT you feel irritated by his actions, and threatened, and need intervention All depends on what and who you are actually dealing with. If you are just a bar customer, assuming he's just on a bar stool next to you, (singing like an obnoxious self-absorbed jackass that seems to feel he's so cool that everyone loves the crap coming out've his mouth) move.... eventually he might be told to shutup, or take the hint....All depends on whether or not he's deliberately moving into your space, or not.. |
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| Author: | Isis [ Fri Jan 20, 2006 11:29 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am going nuts, need opinions/help |
Thanks Kappy. I am a patron myself. Maybe it is just me being hyper sensitive. I just can't stand this guy singing so loudly and sitting right beside me everytime I walk into the place. I guess I will suggest that he not sing so loudly or something. He is a really nice person just very irritating...... |
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| Author: | Steven Kaplan [ Fri Jan 20, 2006 11:32 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am going nuts, need opinions/help |
If that's the case, why should you be "the heavy" ? Someone else might eventually tell him, and in actuality the bar tender, or establishment should suggest something to him assuming he actually *IS* being obnoxious....I'd just stay far away from him, and ignore it...If it doesn't bother other's, it might be something you need to deal with...One never knows.. Tell the bar tender (when the guy's not around)...or if he's "cool" you can nicely ask him, yet why bother, let the bar... I've found that there are all sort's of things in regard to other's I hate, or can't tolerate...problem is, alot of the time, it turns out to be *MY* issue...It does get annoying, I've had people sit next to me sneazing, and hacking all over the place...Noone want's to say anything to them obviously, so I don't request they do, I just get up and move....or if I'm in a bad mood ask them to turn their (@$%&#!) head in the other direction, noone want's their damned germs....Yet as a male who can defend myself quite well, I'm doing this under a different set of circumstances.. |
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| Author: | Isis [ Fri Jan 20, 2006 11:36 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am going nuts, need opinions/help |
Your right.. I shouldn't be the heavy...That's why our bar has a self proclamed $%%hole. I'll have him speak with the guy... I should just sit there and be my normal fun, trivia playing, karaoke singing, happy go lucky fun kinda girl that dances with all the really old men that come in. Yes, I dance with a guy that is 92 and proud. He still does pretty good too. |
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| Author: | Steven Kaplan [ Fri Jan 20, 2006 11:39 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am going nuts, need opinions/help |
Quote: That's why our bar has a self proclamed $%%hole.
Yeah, the bar I used to go to is missing theirs LMAO |
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| Author: | Isis [ Fri Jan 20, 2006 11:44 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am going nuts, need opinions/help |
Steven Kaplan @ Fri Jan 20, 2006 1:39 pm wrote: Quote: That's why our bar has a self proclamed $%%hole. Yeah, the bar I used to go to is missing theirs LMAO Well you can't have ours, contrary to popular belief we really like him and we are going to keep him. We just don't let him know that....He will probably be with us until the end of time unless he starts hurting people with the glare from the top of his head... It's starting to hurt. It is sad that your bar lost yours....Every bar should have one....My condolences |
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| Author: | knightshow [ Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am going nuts, need opinions/help |
I'd eat something with tons of garlic and onions and then breathe on him... a LOT! Eat oreos, and make your teeth all nasty and then smile at him! Jeez... just tell him, "HEY! GET OUTTA MY SPACE!" |
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| Author: | scorpatti [ Tue Jan 24, 2006 6:48 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am going nuts, need opinions/help |
"He does not sing on stage but he does sit at the bar right next to me and belt out the words to the songs being sung" how about when he does it next time, and you'll have to have this planned with someone who is singing, or maybe when you are up singing, and you see him belting it out, go over to him and put the mike up in his face and see what his reaction is. Maybe if he hears himself, his annoying behavior will stop. If he continues, maybe then go as far as putting the mike in his hand and walking away, saying something like "and now soandso is going to finish this song for me" He may like it and start putting in songs for himself, and I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate people doing the same thing to him when he is singing. If all else fails, I guess the only thing to do is put some distance between you and him. |
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| Author: | Steven Kaplan [ Tue Jan 24, 2006 8:49 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am going nuts, need opinions/help |
Quote: I'd eat something with tons of garlic and onions and then breathe on him... a LOT!
Eat oreos, and make your teeth all nasty and then smile at him! Why lead the poor guy on like this ? |
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| Author: | Isis [ Tue Jan 24, 2006 9:30 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am going nuts, need opinions/help |
[quote="Why lead the poor guy on like this ?[/quote] Aw Kappy, You know I would never lead anyone on......I'm just not that way....Why when we were together I gave it all I had...But then you left me for Prod and I was just hurt...I used all my powers and it just didn't work out....Me lead someone on???...HA!! 
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| Author: | timberlea [ Tue Jan 24, 2006 11:21 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am going nuts, need opinions/help |
I'll never understand why people want to dance around. Why not just say, if this is what you feel, "John I like talking to you but when you sing along, I can't hear the singer and it's bothersome". This is polite and explains exactly what you feel. Nothing worse than people beating around the bush or have other people do it for them. You have someone else do it, they may think it is really not coming from you. |
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| Author: | Steven Kaplan [ Tue Jan 24, 2006 4:59 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am going nuts, need opinions/help |
Quote: There is this guy that goes to the bar I sing at. sometimes he even gets right in my face. He is driving me away from my favorite place and I don't want to go anywhere else. How do I get him to stop???? Quote: I'll never understand why people want to dance around. Why not just say, if this is what you feel, "John I like talking to you but when you sing along, I can't hear the singer and it's bothersome". This is polite and explains exactly what you feel. Nothing worse than people beating around the bush or have other people do it for them.
Tim, Her initial paragraph didn't make it appear that being direct would necessarily be safe. She never mentioned she even knew this guy. She never said "they talk" or whether he was even sane.. Only reason I wasn't sure whether or not it would be "wise" for her to confront this guy directly, is because given the above info, she doesn't give us a clue as to why she hasn't already tried the obvious...(which depending on circumstance might, or might not've been the smart thing for a woman to do)...Depending on who this guy is..Initially she never mentioned anything about his character, why he was even "getting into her face", or whether or not this guy was, or wasn't a total nutcase that might be harrassing her, stalking her, or whether or not he was actually even a problem at all in the eye's of other's at that bar..Assuming he's a nuisance to others as well, why should she have to say anything...If he's a pain-in-the-butt for others as well, let the bar do the bar's job...Curb their nuisance customers... One never knows....She initially didn't seem close to the guy...otherwise "He is driving me away from the place" would've led me to believe assuming approaching him in a civil manner was safe, she'd have already approached him, and settled this... Assumptions I made were based upon her initial phrasing...and my own knowledge of some of the nutty things that have happened in my own location when a girl just politely asked a male patron to blow his smoke away from her... |
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| Author: | Isis [ Wed Jan 25, 2006 2:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am going nuts, need opinions/help |
I do know the guy (he's new to the bar) and we have talked, he seems like a very nice person, but as we all know, sometimes people do weird things when you ask them not to do something or tell them they are annoying. I'm trying to figure out a way I can be diplomatic and not upset him. Even though he upsets me all the time. I will probably see him this weekend and I do plan on saying something. I have stayed away for a while in hopes that when I return he will have been broken from this habit... By someone else |
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| Author: | Isis [ Sat Jan 28, 2006 8:41 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am going nuts, need opinions/help |
Problem solved... Someone did it to him last night and he got upset and started talking to me about it...I gently let him know that now he knows how others feel about him....He was understanding and said that he didn't realize he was irritating... Thanks everyone!!! |
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| Author: | Laura [ Sat Jan 28, 2006 1:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am going nuts, need opinions/help |
isis @ Sat Jan 28, 2006 10:41 am wrote: Problem solved... Someone did it to him last night and he got upset and started talking to me about it...I gently let him know that now he knows how others feel about him....He was understanding and said that he didn't realize he was irritating...
Thanks everyone!!!  ! (had to laugh about someone doing it to him) Glad things worked out!
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| Author: | Suzanne Lanoue [ Sat Jan 28, 2006 11:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am going nuts, need opinions/help |
Glad it worked out for you! 
I always singalong at my seat...I figure karaoke is for the audience to singalong, too....but I try not to sing too loud to bother others. |
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| Author: | Laura [ Sun Jan 29, 2006 10:44 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am going nuts, need opinions/help |
Quote: ...I figure karaoke is for the audience to singalong, too....but I try not to sing too loud to bother others.
I've often wondered why so many karaoke places have screens where the words can be seen by the audience. Is that so the audience can sing along--or so they can make sure the karaoke singer is singing it right?
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| Author: | Isis [ Mon Jan 30, 2006 9:54 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am going nuts, need opinions/help |
I always thought it was so the singer could walk around and still see the words, if needed..... |
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| Author: | Laura [ Sun Feb 05, 2006 1:33 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I am going nuts, need opinions/help |
Isis @ Mon Jan 30, 2006 11:54 am wrote: I always thought it was so the singer could walk around and still see the words, if needed.....
Hmmm...you do have a point there... |
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