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Question For Wedding DJs
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Author:  TroyVnd27 [ Tue Oct 22, 2013 12:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Question For Wedding DJs
Hey guys, I recently had an unforeseen circumstance where I had to send a hired DJ to do a wedding. I never send anyone to do weddings anymore. This was the first time in over a year and a half and it was an emergency. The guy I sent has been with me for over 4 years and is well trained in doing weddings. All feedback from prior years has been nothing but positive.

Anyway, he did a few things wrong (toasts done before dinner instead of during, etc), but her biggest complaint was this announcement (mind you it was a dry wedding):

"Although there isn't alcohol here tonight, we've got a lot of fun games planned to keep us entertained".

He got this kind of from her, as one of her emails stated something like "...I'm concerned that, without alcohol, people are going to leave right after dinner. I'd like to plan some games to keep people entertained".

She is upset beyond belief about him referencing the fact that there wasn't alcohol being served because it was quite obvious and he didn't need to make mention of it.

Now, I can see if this event was held in a church hall; then no reference to alcohol need or should be made. But, this was a typical, run of the mill wedding venue. In hindsight, now we know better. But, I don't see what the big deal is.

So, as mentioned, now we know better. But, absent specific instructions otherwise, does this warrant her being so upset and demanding a refund?

I think not, but am I crazy?
Author:  spotlightjr [ Tue Oct 22, 2013 1:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Question For Wedding DJs
From your synopsis of what happened I can sorta understand the bride being upset. Not "refund" upset but`ticked off, nonetheless. She was obviously very concerned about not having alcohol and related those concerns to you beforehand.

Your dj announcing over the mic that "since there isn't any alcohol......." not only highlighted that fact but also threw the bride and groom under the bus so to speak for not having a bar setup, etc. it also puts a negative connotation on the rest of the event because your dj said they would have to settle on playing games instead of drinking... (not good)

I would contact her as soon as possible and apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused and assure her that your dj and you had nothing but their best interest at heart. It won't change what happened but it will show your client that you are professional and take any feedback from an event seriously. (just my 2 cents)
Author:  TroyVnd27 [ Tue Oct 22, 2013 1:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Question For Wedding DJs
Thanks. Just when you think you know it all, you find there's more to learn.

I've already attempted to settle, I offered her a 50% refund. She sent me 5 links to various websites where she was going to leave negative reviews if I didn't resolve this matter quickly. I've never had a complaint from a wedding client. This is a first. I also made the refund conditional, she is prohibited from posting any sort of negative feedback on any website /social media as this matter would be considered resolved.
Author:  BT Magic [ Tue Oct 22, 2013 2:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Question For Wedding DJs
It sound like to me as if someone's trying to get something for nothing and pulling any excuse out of their a$$ to get it....along with threats of negative feedback.

When a client tells me they're having a DRY reception I make it abundantly clear that they should NOT expect this thing to go the distance. It's Saturday Night (most likely), folks are dressed up and they're out for the evening. At some point many of these adults are going to want to imbibe, and if not at YOUR wedding reception, most certainly somewhere else!

I've seen it people show up at the reception, eat, wish the couple well and head on out to knock back a few cocktails for the rest of the evening. Hell....I do a Saturday Karaoke gig less than 100yards from a banquet hall, and almost every time there's a dry reception most of the guest show up at my show by 10:30 pm. It's just a fact!

Personally, I don't think your man did or said anything wrong. I think he was trying to say "Hey just because there's no booze doesn't mean it's gonna be dull. Stick around!"

If you really want to try to save face with Bridezilla, I'd offer her the 50% again take it or leave it. If she refuses, I'd tell her to pound salt!
Author:  JoeChartreuse [ Tue Oct 22, 2013 10:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Question For Wedding DJs
The DJ mentioned that there was no alcohol- he didn't offend anyone ( even if he annoyed Bridezilla), or mis-name the couple or anthing else similar.

The DJ was ATTEMPTING to get the guests to stay longer and have a good time.

Refund 50%????? Completely undeserved.

25% tops, and that's being OVERLY generous.

BTW- How long did the event last after dinner?
Author:  Vince Prince [ Wed Oct 23, 2013 1:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Question For Wedding DJs
TroyVnd27 wrote:
She sent me 5 links to various websites where she was going to leave negative reviews if I didn't resolve this matter quickly.


Wow. That's the part that doesn't sit right with me. That's basically blackmail and I don't take kindly to blackmail of any sort.

Your man tried his best to make the best of a "not-so-good" situation. I bet the guests were not offended at all. The bride felt offended because in her mind, it cast a light upon her own failure and now she's mad and wants revenge.

If I were you, I would be a man of my word and honor whatever it is you told her. Does she deserve a 50% refund for that one statement your dj made. HELL NO!!!!!!

But if you promised it to her, then give it to her quickly and be done with her madness.
Author:  The Lone Ranger [ Wed Oct 23, 2013 5:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Question For Wedding DJs
8) I can only speak from my experience with weddings. First of all I will not do karaoke weddings only play DJ music, also I will not subcontract out a job I have signed on to do. I keep all of my commitments no matter what the situation, I have never felt comfortable having others represent me. If I'm going to get negative feedback on my service I want the critic directed at me and not others. I don't like games played at weddings, I prefer just having dance music. Directing games is not part of my usual package, and I would probably decline to take the job in the first place. I don't like having to MC a wedding, I think all the speech making should be done by the wedding party itself. The only thing I'm supposed to do is provide the music, and allow the proper speeches to be made by various individuals. One thing I would not do is state the obvious it should be quite evident that there is no bar to guests without the host pointing it out. The only time I would make it public that there is no bar is if the bride and groom instructed me to make such a public statement.
Author:  spotlightjr [ Wed Oct 23, 2013 1:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Question For Wedding DJs
Wow!! This lady is nuts. As I stated before, an apology is in order and other than that is up to you. The dj made a small error in judgement that this bridezilla is trying to put under a microscope and get a refund. If you have a signed agreement for a specified time and price and it was fulfilled then no money need be refunded. I believe she will be bitter no matter the outcome and still complain about you to everyone she knows.
Author:  twansenne [ Wed Oct 23, 2013 6:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Question For Wedding DJs
What does your contract/service agreement say?

Your DJ was not saying anything untruthful.

What is her basis for wanting a refund?
Did everyone leave immediately after he announced there was no alcohol?
Author:  spotlightjr [ Thu Oct 24, 2013 9:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Question For Wedding DJs
Troy,

What guarantee do you have that she won't go to these sites and say bad things about you anyways. I seriously think giving her any amount of money back is not only wrong but detrimental to your business.
What the dj said in no way effected the outcome of the event. It may have pissed her off but in reality had nothing to do with what transpired the rest of the evening. I apologize beforehand, but I feel as if maybe there is something your leaving out of this discussion that is making you feel obligated to give this client money back.
This incident she is complaining about is pretty trivial with regards to the success of the whole event. By sending her any money it not only solidifies in her mind that she was right (she isn't) but it also means that you are susceptible to similar outcomes down the road if this situation rears it's ugly head again.
I wish you luck and hope you resolve this issue immediately.
Author:  leopard lizard [ Thu Oct 24, 2013 9:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Question For Wedding DJs
This is why I don't have the nerve to do weddings other than for people I know who are having an informal type reception. It takes nerves of steel and perfection. I can see how what your sub said could be taken as a slight against the hosts but it was a slip of the tongue/moment of not thinking. Yet some of these brides key in on the slightest thing rather than go with the flow. I always wonder how if they can't survive a wedding/reception that has a few glitches then how will they ever survive a marriage?

The receptions that I have enjoyed are the ones where the couple just wants to share the day with friends and is happy everyone could make it. Perfection has nothing to do with it.
Author:  TroyVnd27 [ Wed Oct 30, 2013 7:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Question For Wedding DJs
To update this thread, I wanted to address the other things that went wrong. First, my guy did not wear a tie. Instead, he wore a polo shirt and khakis. Originally, she swore up and down he wore jeans and a tee shirt. I knew better, but she made the mistake of saying "I've got him in pictures". Turns out she was wrong about the jeans and tee shirt, but is aknowleged he should have had a tie on.

In my planning material, I explain the difference between a "Toast" and a "Speech". In a nutshell, a Toast usually includes alcohol, a formal raising of a glass and pre-pouring. If these elements are not present, which none were, it is then a speech (there wasn't even non-alcoholic champagne for the head table). My guy referred to them as speeches, and she was very upset about it.

She had a Master and Mistress of Ceremonies present. They introduced themselves and worked with him on preparing for the grand entrance. However, after dinner they seemed to have shunned their responsibilities. She claimed that a lot of people left right after dinner because there was nothing going on. I agree that a good DJ will keep events moving, but ultimately, unless you give us specific times, we'll wait to be cued to start an event (planning paperwork even states (for each event): "Start Time (Or You May Cue DJ)". The only specific times we had were event start time, arrival of wedding party,and dinner start time.

All events are declared optional, and clients can choose from a variety of events. She was upset that he did not play her last dance song, but she never selected a formal last dance event, so he did our basic last song/dance event and played our default song "Wonderful Tonight". Truthfully, maybe only half of my clients choose this event. And, if you saw how well my paperwork is laid out, there just isn't anything strange about a client not choosing this event. You just CANT miss it.

So, to sweep this under the rug, my DJ and I both decided to fund the 50% refund equally.

Get this: she accepted the offer on Thursday. On Saturday, she called looking for her check. I told her that we pay bills on the 1st and 15th of every month and her check would be taken care on the first. Tuesday (the 29th) she called again asking if I had sent it out yet.

I'm more than a little suspicious now, so tomorrow I am going to track down the other vendors and see if they're experiencing anything similar from her.
Author:  TroyVnd27 [ Wed Oct 30, 2013 8:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Question For Wedding DJs
leopard lizard wrote:
This is why I don't have the nerve to do weddings other than for people I know who are having an informal type reception. It takes nerves of steel and perfection. I can see how what your sub said could be taken as a slight against the hosts but it was a slip of the tongue/moment of not thinking. Yet some of these brides key in on the slightest thing rather than go with the flow. I always wonder how if they can't survive a wedding/reception that has a few glitches then how will they ever survive a marriage?

The receptions that I have enjoyed are the ones where the couple just wants to share the day with friends and is happy everyone could make it. Perfection has nothing to do with it.


On average , I make about $425 from weddings. There are companies that charge upwards of $1k, but I'm right in the middle. I've never had a problem and I get a ton of referral business. I didn't have anyone to train me on weddings. My first was a bar owner who literally made me do his daughter's wedding, which was held at his bar. I did my homework and it went off without a hitch.

Ever since then, I've gotten even better and I just cannot imagine working a Saturday for karaoke wages when I can make 3x as much doing weddings and private events. I have a Saturday show, but I'm only there if I don't have a private event planned. Otherwise, I have a sub.

And weddings are way, way, WAY easier than karaoke. And, I get dinner, too. Drinks are almost always offered, but I haven't drank at a wedding in a long time.
Author:  spotlightjr [ Thu Oct 31, 2013 10:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Question For Wedding DJs
TroyVnd27 wrote:
To update this thread, I wanted to address the other things that went wrong. First, my guy did not wear a tie. Instead, he wore a polo shirt and khakis. Originally, she swore up and down he wore jeans and a tee shirt. I knew better, but she made the mistake of saying "I've got him in pictures". Turns out she was wrong about the jeans and tee shirt, but is aknowleged he should have had a tie on.

In my planning material, I explain the difference between a "Toast" and a "Speech". In a nutshell, a Toast usually includes alcohol, a formal raising of a glass and pre-pouring. If these elements are not present, which none were, it is then a speech (there wasn't even non-alcoholic champagne for the head table). My guy referred to them as speeches, and she was very upset about it.

She had a Master and Mistress of Ceremonies present. They introduced themselves and worked with him on preparing for the grand entrance. However, after dinner they seemed to have shunned their responsibilities. She claimed that a lot of people left right after dinner because there was nothing going on. I agree that a good DJ will keep events moving, but ultimately, unless you give us specific times, we'll wait to be cued to start an event (planning paperwork even states (for each event): "Start Time (Or You May Cue DJ)". The only specific times we had were event start time, arrival of wedding party,and dinner start time.

All events are declared optional, and clients can choose from a variety of events. She was upset that he did not play her last dance song, but she never selected a formal last dance event, so he did our basic last song/dance event and played our default song "Wonderful Tonight". Truthfully, maybe only half of my clients choose this event. And, if you saw how well my paperwork is laid out, there just isn't anything strange about a client not choosing this event. You just CANT miss it.

So, to sweep this under the rug, my DJ and I both decided to fund the 50% refund equally.

Get this: she accepted the offer on Thursday. On Saturday, she called looking for her check. I told her that we pay bills on the 1st and 15th of every month and her check would be taken care on the first. Tuesday (the 29th) she called again asking if I had sent it out yet.

I'm more than a little suspicious now, so tomorrow I am going to track down the other vendors and see if they're experiencing anything similar from her.
Author:  BigJer [ Thu Oct 31, 2013 10:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Question For Wedding DJs
Good luck, Troy! Let us know what the other vendors tell you.
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