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He once owned the best Karaoke bar in town.....He fell in love and asked her to marry him....She said Yes.

Then she dumped him Fri night and he tried to kill himself in front of her....She simply watched and finally called 911 when it looked like he was dead.

But he made it..............He's in ICU

I'm glad he's going to make it. I'm best friends with his dad and his last girlfriend. We were all out last Friday night looking for him......His previous ex is kinda my girlfriend and we both don't know what we would do without him.....his heart is simply too big.....or maybe ours is too small.

Funny how things like this make you look at yourself, huh?

When a male or female lose their whole identity for some "temporary" need (I know in my case) I've gotten very sick, it's not the object of "fantasy or romance" that has that type of control,  it's my sick weak mind that has given them way too much because I'm pretty damn unstable and mentally ill meaning I'm not strong enough to be in a relationship to begin with, I have nothing to give if I have no selfworth if I've given my whole identity to the woman, what's left of ME to be in a relationship ?  What type of sick needy relationship am I in anyway ? It's a nasty unsafe place to be if I lose that type control. I think at some point in life many of us have and do just that, become infatuated and lose it to fantasy. It makes me realize it's not "love" when we get that needy, and our esteem is that low, it's infatuation and THAT IS friggin dangerous. If I feel I've become infatuated by another person, I try to remind myself that SHE is just A PERSON, and nothing more, I just don't KNOW her !   I don't deserve to become dehumanized and depersonalized because of a "female".  Nor should ANY female give me that type power in a relationship, I don't want it,  I'm not "god".  I #$(# up..

This also makes me realize that despite the level of pain I may be going thru at any given time, it always passes if I give it time to pass. I think one of the advantages of having survived addictions and kicked many is that I realize people can become addicted to just about anything.. Even the opposite gender.  Excrutiating emotional pain sucks,  but if given time, it's amazing what our mind can adjust to, and get over assuming we are willing to make certain we remind ourelves,  "IT WILL PASS and time is ALL that will enable it to pass ! this is temporary and in a few years, the person we are empowering won't mean squat and we have, and we will continue to survive relationships".. Scary thing is, we forget someone we are "obsessed with" is just ONE person, and nothing more.. We can become dependant on all sorts of externalities if we don't watch ourselves...I'd rather be "dumped" any day, than have to feel that some action of neglect, anger, or irresponsibility destroyed or resulted in the death or loss of somebody that loved me, and needed me.  *That* to me is the toughest emotional pain to have to carry around. Parents that turn their back and a child drowns, sure it's an accident, but to have to live with that type pain ?  MY GOD... or for a person to have to feel that a moment of carelessness (a mistake), caused them to do something such as back over a child in a driveway with their car, I know people that've survived both these situations, I don't know if I could, my point being there is far worse emotional hell to have to carry IMHO imagineable than another person "dumping" me. If I want to die because somebody breaks up with me,  I need psychiatric help badly,  not death.

To allow ourselves to get addicted to the fantasy of "romance' often giving the other person in the relationship WAY too much control, is something we need to be careful of ALWAYS assuming we are prone to allowing this to happen.  I need to watch myself here as well because what has that other person REALLY done to earn my total dependancy ?   What is so trite about my own life that nothing else matters or is worth living for ?  This is not a rational perspective (assuming a woman becomes that much more worthy than my life),  so what I realize, is *I* am mentally ill, temporary sick with extremely low esteem, hence REALLY super needy.. *She* didn't take away anything, I was just too damn sick and needy and dependant so the heat felt too hot (which is NOW an indication after many past experiences in relationships that I am playing with fire and need to step back and ask myself what the hell I am allowing to happen here?).. People Do all too often give up control to other people in these fantasy or romance relationships, yet they can be really dangerous (deadly) places if we have no identity of our own..  I have made this mistake, and although I lived,  I lived death for awhile, I lived doped up, and when all is said and done, I AM alone and trapped in MY head, it's my life, at some point I need to like me, have some other interests than A FEMALE, and realize people DO come and go, and hurt us, there are no guarantees, and THIS is exactly what scares me about marriage, how much of a life can and should we commit to another person at present ?  Should I ever belong to somebody else ?  or vice-versa ?.. I don't want to die because I put a female in a higher than God status due to my desparation.. so it pays to take the time to get to know and like who I am, {I think most people at some time realize people can and will leave them at ANYTIME for ANY reason.. It happens, little involving people and emotion is constant, or carved in stone} THIS is why I'm searching for a higher power that won't (@$%&#!) me over.. one I can live with, something constant in a life that keeps changing..  because when we are needy, people can't always give us what we crave [STILL, when you strip away the "romance" and *fantasy*, women (just like other males) are only other people, their feelings evolve, and change]..

To allow another person that much control of our lives is scary, but we all at certain times while losing site of whats real vs fantasy seem to exaggerate things and lose total perspective.. BUT even-so, regardless how acute, suffering passes, and we MUST remind ourselves of that !

I lost a few friends years back to suicide from "broken hearts", on the road I found myself drunk and falling in love twice a week at times.. Problem is, I was getting really sick and needy and didn't know it.. I needed help, not a woman.. it scared and still DOES scare the xit out've me to realize how out've control my emotions can get. Only thing I find deadly is having to live with a guilty conscience, or living feeling I've done something horrible. But it also makes me realize the girls I barely survived hurting me (one when I was 19 and another at 23- first one I walked in on and she was in my bed with my best friend, second one ended up falling for my close friend but still) were NEVER the godesses my sick needy mind allowed them to be..  Is a person ever worth killing yourself over ?  Hell no IMHO..

I've got to be careful in areas where I'm not strong.. Perspective can and does go down the drain at times !

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Huh?

I'm trying to say relationships for certain people can be dangerous if they don't have enough "self" to survive them going into the relationship and at ALL points during.  Both genders in a "romantic" relationship have to remember what is real vs what is illusion or fantasy regarding the other "person".  Some totally lose perspective and can't deal with intense emotion, and feelings that become distorted when infatuated.  I don't think a person that hasn't become ill, or wasn't healthy enough to be in a relationship would allow an attractive female to be the *catalyst* for suicide. Those of us (myself included) that tend to spin out've control emotionally need to make certain our heads stay on straight during times our hearts getting wrenched out, if not, we end up in crisis.  At all points during relationships we need to run reality and sanity checks on ourselves..  The times I was destroyed by females were the times I was so sick and needy I should've avoided a woman like I'd avoid Heroin. During these times, I didn't love these women,  I was addicted to them !

Like a nasty rollercoaster ride.. If your heart isn't healthy enough to endure the stress to begin with,  your HEAD must dictate that you STAY OFF the ride !  NOBODY should allow another person to become so magnificant that the other person is ALL they wish to live for.  That's dangerous for numerous reasons. Those that can't keep their heads when in a relationship need to stay away from relationships long enough to find their heads before heading into a tailspin.  

Nothing easy about a relationship.

People ALL have their own differing needs.

.

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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Yep, good points Steven!  :yes:

She sounds like a real cold-hearted b1tch Keith.  My sympathies for your pain, I know what it's like to see a friend hurting so badly.

While I know it may be too soon to mention but have the authorities said anything about bringing any charges against her?  While she technically didn't lay a hand on your friend (or did she?) to stand there and not do anything while someone tries to take their own life is not only morally wrong but are there possibilities she broke any laws?  Just a dayum shame for someone like that to walk about free while your friend is in such agony.  There's a certain four letter word to describe a female like that (can't stand it) but it's very appropriate in this situation.

Good luck to your friend, unfortunately he has a long road ahead of him to get through this  :hug:

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[shadow=white][scroll]Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.....It's about learning to dance in the rain[/scroll][/shadow]

errr ummm sorry but the only person to take responsibility for his actions is him!
take it from one who has lived through a suicide. My brother did it.
And unless he (your friend) is well enough to sit up and tell you that she did what you claim she did then how the hell do you know? And if he is well enough to sit up and tell you then she must have flunked first aid very seriously to have thought him so close to death
NO ONE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ANOTHER PERSON'S ACTIONS PERIOD!

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

Oh I agree with you wholeheartedly Vicki, everyone is responsible for their own actions.  I've had three friends who have committed suicide and always wondered how anyone could be so selfish to want to leave loved ones behind and wonder if there were anything that could have been done to avoid it.  The guilt goes on for years and years and years.

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[shadow=white][scroll]Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.....It's about learning to dance in the rain[/scroll][/shadow]

I'm sorry about your friend, Keith!

Suicide is certainly no way out of a problem. My own morals don't even allow for such a thing, as I strongly believe that pain would follow me into the next realm. I also have way too many people that count on me, love me, and I'd never cause them any grief that way.

Other ways, maybe! !

Its like abortion it should be a personal choice free of guilt or blame for anyone left behind. Can I understand how anyone can do it? hmmm when I went to see him in the funeral home I wanted to punch him and kick him and hit him and scream at him because by him doing it, he had taken that choice away from ME (I would like to think I would never have made that choice). ya know the only time in my life I have been the worse for drink was the night we buried him...we were sitting at the police bar in Chch police station (he was a dog handler) and I was sytematically getting myself drunk enough to see how I could lose enough inhibitions to rip my t-shirt into strips and make a noose to string myself up with in a shower. I vomitted it all away and still felt sober...the boys in blue came looking for me in the ladies loos and took turns walking me round the block and I still walked straighter than any of them .

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

I'm a cheap drunk  :drunk: , I could never do that  LMAO

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[shadow=white][scroll]Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.....It's about learning to dance in the rain[/scroll][/shadow]