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| Sayings, Questions, or Observations https://mail.karaokescene.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=10732 |
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| Author: | johnny reverb [ Mon Sep 03, 2007 10:49 am ] |
| Post subject: | Sayings, Questions, or Observations |
Sometimes I come up with "sayings"...at least I think they are original...  ...sometimes I have questions about things I observe....like why does, or how do they....I tell my wife, she pretends they're funny and give's me that girly giggle she's given me for 34 years or so....maybe we can share some....oh yeh, I'll start.. 
Good news....there "IS" karaoke in hell.....bad news....they don't carry SoundChoice... |
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| Author: | johnny reverb [ Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sayings, Questions, or Observations |
Ok, I'll play by myself...kinda like my sex life I guess....  ,,,,that's not a wave................ok, I fit this catagory.......
Women....one advantage to marrying an older guy, is that he's not going anywhere.......................that is.....unless you push him there......... 
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| Author: | MorganLeFey [ Tue Sep 04, 2007 12:36 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sayings, Questions, or Observations |
hmmm not sure if I have many of those sorts of sayings cept maybe you should never wear a g-string if you have piles...but that is just common sense...wow cant think... |
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| Author: | Odie [ Tue Sep 04, 2007 7:55 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sayings, Questions, or Observations |
Okay, I'll bite. 1) I figured out a way to get good police security on our block. I set up a donut and coffee stand on the front porch. 2) Recently I ate at a place called Happy Teriyaki. It was good. I wonder how the food would be at a place called Sad Teriyaki? 3) I saw a sign in a window and I thought "who'd want to eat at a place where there's no shoes, no shirts AND no service"? |
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| Author: | johnny reverb [ Tue Sep 04, 2007 10:18 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sayings, Questions, or Observations |
That makes me think of one......Chinese food is like sex.......an hour later.....I'm hungry again.......I think my nose is growing......so I exaggerated a little... 
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| Author: | Kellyoke [ Tue Sep 04, 2007 10:54 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sayings, Questions, or Observations |
Usually when someone drops a glass or accidentally knocks over a table; or when someone says something that no one really understands what the heck they mean and everyone just looks at one another,... I'll say ...."That's ok. I remember my first beer." Kelly :) |
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| Author: | johnny reverb [ Tue Sep 04, 2007 12:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sayings, Questions, or Observations |
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| Author: | Steven Kaplan [ Tue Sep 04, 2007 2:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sayings, Questions, or Observations |
Quote: I'll say ...."That's ok. I remember my first beer."
AH ! So that's what those PM's mean ! |
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| Author: | Kellyoke [ Tue Sep 04, 2007 5:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sayings, Questions, or Observations |
These are some that have happened over time: 1. GUY: "Gimme plenty of re-verb. I won't have to sing as hard." ME: "You're the first person I ever met who could sing re-verb." 2. GIRL: "If I show you my t!ts will you let me sing." ME: ( My wife is well endowed and sits by the first table by the stage) "That's my wife sitting right there. Do you honestly think I'm going to be impressed?" GIRL: Looks over at my wife; then at her chest; then looks at me and shakes her head slowly side to side with head bowed and walks away.) 3. After handing them the mic that you just had in your hand to ask them to come up; they take it and ask if it is on. 4. GIRL: "Hey remember me? Haven't seen you in awhile. How you doing?" ME: "You look familiar but something looks different." (I think it was her hair color) GIRL: "We'll I've had my nipples pierced." (She's wearing a sweatshirt for cryin' out loud!" (That one brought me to tears laughing) 5. I hand the wireless mic to a girl. She steps off the stage a takes a few steps out to the dance area and then stops and asks if it is alright to sing on the floor. I said sure just don't let people trip over the cord... She begins looking for it. 6. One of my regulars while on the mic sees the song key prior to the start and says, "I can't sing in BFlat." ME: "Trust me; you're ALWAYS flat. Kelly |
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| Author: | P Tucker [ Tue Sep 04, 2007 5:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sayings, Questions, or Observations |
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| Author: | johnny reverb [ Wed Sep 05, 2007 6:22 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sayings, Questions, or Observations |
People that smoke, and claim that they had uninterrupted sex for hours, are Liars.............you know dayum well, that can't go 15 minutes without a cigarette........
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| Author: | johnny reverb [ Fri Sep 07, 2007 8:43 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sayings, Questions, or Observations |
I showered in a monastery I really was a dope Now every time I wash my a$$ I almost lose my soap |
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| Author: | johnny reverb [ Sat Sep 08, 2007 8:39 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sayings, Questions, or Observations |
Anybody see the infomercial for the exercise thingy called the Bean? Well, after closely watching the the people working out on it for about an hour, I ordered one. No, I'm not going to use it for exercising.....I figured out a much better use for it............ 
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| Author: | P Tucker [ Sat Sep 08, 2007 9:19 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sayings, Questions, or Observations |
At a roadside BBQ joint in Pittsburgh, PA. that cooks the meat outside, there's a sign thingie where you just change the letters whenever. Well, everytime I pass by, the sign says something different....usually obscene verbage. One day it was......Chicks dig when you eat out.
Another time was.....Chicks love our meaty bones.
Another was....If you can't eat our pork, then go to hell.
Next time was.....no signage and a busted front window.
Most recent was.....It's just a d*mn sign!! LOL |
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| Author: | Chuck2 [ Sat Sep 08, 2007 4:24 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sayings, Questions, or Observations |
... anything that includes the words "bizarre gardening accident" Some of my favorite stories always start off with the following: It seemed like a good idea at the time - or I was drunk this one time and... or any story that uses the names Skeeter or Bubba. Gotta love Bubba. |
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| Author: | Steven Kaplan [ Tue Oct 02, 2007 2:00 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sayings, Questions, or Observations |
Quote: you should never wear a g-string if you have piles...but that is just common sense...
I like to rejeuvenate my pyles with the beater brush on my vacuum cleaner.. Too much wear takes it's toll on a pyle.. So you can resurrect your pyle by whipping it with a brush.. Thought you'd be happy about my observation ! |
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| Author: | Catseyeview [ Tue Oct 02, 2007 5:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sayings, Questions, or Observations |
johnny reverb @ Fri Sep 07, 2007 11:43 am wrote: I showered in a monastery
I really was a dope Now every time I wash my a$$ I almost lose my soap Hayullllllll Johnny tha' wuz jus' slicker'n snail snot 8) |
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| Author: | MorganLeFey [ Tue Oct 02, 2007 5:14 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sayings, Questions, or Observations |
there was a young man from australia who painted his a$$ like a dahlia red, blue & white, the colours were right but the smell was a bit of a failure |
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