Karaoke Forums

Sometimes I come up with "sayings"...at least I think they are original... ...sometimes I have questions about things I observe....like why does, or how do they....I tell my wife, she pretends they're funny and give's me that girly giggle she's given me for 34 years or so....maybe we can share some....oh yeh, I'll start..

Good news....there "IS" karaoke in hell.....bad news....they don't carry SoundChoice...

Ok, I'll play by myself...kinda like my sex life I guess.... ,,,,that's not a wave................ok, I fit this catagory.......

Women....one advantage to marrying an older guy, is that he's not going anywhere.......................that is.....unless you push him there.........

hmmm not sure if I have many of those sorts of sayings cept maybe you should never wear a g-string if you have piles...but that is just common sense...wow cant think...

_________________
"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

Okay, I'll bite.

1) I figured out a way to get good police security on our block. I set up a donut and coffee stand on the front porch.

2) Recently I ate at a place called Happy Teriyaki. It was good. I wonder how the food would be at a place called Sad Teriyaki?

3) I saw a sign in a window and I thought "who'd want to eat at a place where there's no shoes, no shirts AND no service"?

That makes me think of one......Chinese food is like sex.......an hour later.....I'm hungry again.......I think my nose is growing......so I exaggerated a little...

Usually when someone drops a glass or accidentally knocks over a table; or when someone says something that no one really understands what the heck they mean and everyone just looks at one another,... I'll say ...."That's ok.  I remember my first beer."

Kelly  :)

AH !   So that's what those PM's mean !

_________________
Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

These are some that have happened over time:

1. GUY: "Gimme plenty of re-verb. I won't have to sing as hard."
ME: "You're the first person I ever met who could sing re-verb."

2. GIRL: "If I show you my t!ts will you let me sing."
ME: ( My wife is well endowed and sits by the first table by the stage)
"That's my wife sitting right there. Do you honestly think I'm going to be impressed?"
GIRL: Looks over at my wife; then at her chest; then looks at me and shakes her head slowly side to side with head bowed and walks away.)

3. After handing them the mic that you just had in your hand to ask them to come up; they take it and ask if it is on.

4. GIRL: "Hey remember me? Haven't seen you in awhile. How you doing?"
ME: "You look familiar but something looks different." (I think it was her hair color)
GIRL: "We'll I've had my nipples pierced." (She's wearing a sweatshirt for cryin' out loud!" (That one brought me to tears laughing)

5. I hand the wireless mic to a girl. She steps off the stage a takes a few steps out to the dance area and then stops and asks if it is alright to sing on the floor.
I said sure just don't let people trip over the cord... She begins looking for it.

6. One of my regulars while on the mic sees the song key prior to the start and says, "I can't sing in BFlat."
ME: "Trust me; you're ALWAYS flat.

Kelly

People that smoke, and claim that they had uninterrupted sex for hours, are Liars.............you know dayum well, that can't go 15 minutes without a cigarette........

I showered in a monastery
I really was a dope
Now every time I wash my a$$
I almost lose my soap

Anybody see the infomercial for the exercise thingy called the Bean? Well, after closely watching the the people working out on it for about an hour, I ordered one. No, I'm not going to use it for exercising.....I figured out a much better use for it............

At a roadside BBQ joint in Pittsburgh, PA. that cooks the meat outside, there's a sign thingie where you just change the letters whenever.
Well, everytime I pass by, the sign says something different....usually obscene verbage.
One day it was......Chicks dig when you eat out.

Another time was.....Chicks love our meaty bones.

Another was....If you can't eat our pork, then go to hell.

Next time was.....no signage and a busted front window.

Most recent was.....It's just a d*mn sign!!  LOL

... anything that includes the words "bizarre gardening accident"

Some of my favorite stories always start off with the following:

It seemed like a good idea at the time - or
I was drunk this one time and...

or any story that uses the names Skeeter or Bubba. Gotta love Bubba.

I like to rejeuvenate my pyles with the beater brush on my vacuum cleaner..  Too much wear takes it's toll on a pyle.. So you can resurrect your pyle by whipping it with a brush..  Thought you'd be happy about my observation !

_________________
Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

Hayullllllll Johnny tha' wuz jus' slicker'n snail snot  8)

_________________
[shadow=white][scroll]Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.....It's about learning to dance in the rain[/scroll][/shadow]

there was a young man from australia
who painted his a$$ like a dahlia
red, blue & white, the colours were right
but the smell was a bit of a failure

_________________
"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."