Karaoke Forums

i'd do the same thing!
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A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and
everyone inside dies.  As they stand at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Paradise
and meet their maker, God decides to grant each person one wish because of
the grief they have experienced.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want
to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done. The second
one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too." Another snap
of His fingers and the wish is granted.

This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous, but when God
is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing. When
there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing
his head off.

Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be. The
guy eventually calms down and says:  "Make 'em all ugly again."

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All work and no play make Homer something something

Haha, that's a good one Steve.  LOL

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

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[shadow=pink][glow=deepskyblue]. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
[updown]~*~ MONKEY BUSINESS KARAOKE~*~ [/shadow][/updown][/glow]

A man dies unexpectadly and ends up at the Pearly Gates.  He appears rather nervous as he comes face to face with God. The man pleads with God, "please let me go back, I'm not ready to go!"  God says, "it appears as if your time has come.
I'm afraid that won't be possible."  God asks, "Why would you possibly want to go back?  Is there a loved one that you need to say goodbye to?"  The man says,
"No, I just need to erase my hard drive!"  God says, "Oh, I was going to ask you about that!"

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ROBDOG *WOOF WOOF*

I really liked that one...you crack me up... Here is one for you...

A pompous minister was seated next to a hillbilly on a flight across the country. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.   The hillbilly asked for a whiskey, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely ravaged by brazen whores than let liquor touch these lips."   The hillbilly then handed his drink back to the flight attendant and said, "Shoot, me too. I didn't know we had a choice."

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Will sing or fish for food!!I'm not quite right!!

not many jokes make me laugh out loud, but that one did!  save the rest of 'em for the get-together!  and tell Dave he better have a hat by then!

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All work and no play make Homer something something

man that was good,,,,I got great responces with that one as well as this one yesterday at Karaoke.

A guy walks into his House with a duck under his arm,
His wife is standing there.
The guy says " This is the Pig I've been  Having sex with.
His wife says " thats not a pig, It's a duck.
The guy says "I wasnt Talking To you"

This is corny...... but I just got it in an email this morning, so I thought I'd share it:



A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.


The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears at bars in Billings."

The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.

The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears at bars in Billings."

The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears at bars in Billings"

The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.

The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears at bars in Billings who are on drugs."

The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."
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The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

Yikes!!!

Three men end up at the pearly gates in heaven. St. Gabriel asks them how they died. The first man says "I was walking by and a refridgerator fell on me and I died instantly." St. Gabby says "Ok, you can enter now."

Second man says "I came home earlier than usual and I found my wife nake on bed all sweaty and I found some mens clothing around. I was sure she was cheating on me so I went around looking for that SoB all over the house. I didn't find him but I was still angry. I went to the kitchen, lifte the fridge and threw it out the window. Right after that due to the strain of lifting the fridge, I had a heart attack and died." St. Gabby says "Ok, the fridge was an accident so you can go in."

St. Gabby asks the third man, "how did you die?". The third man replied "you see, I was in this refridgerator..."

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Seize the day and SING!!!

Sent to me by my kid sister, who married an Okie...


A True Okie

An Okie was doing some shopping in downtown OKC. He
looked up at the top of a tall building and discovered a man ready
to jump.

"Stop," he yelled. "Remember, you're someone who
has value!"

The man yelled back, "I just lost everything in
the stock market!"

"But remember you're important to your wife!"

"She divorced me and took everything I had that
was not in the stock market."

"Your children, remember your children," yelled
the Okie.

"They never call," said the man.

"Then your parents, remember your parents," yelled
the Okie.
"Dead as doornails," said the man.

"Then think of all the Sooners football games you
will miss," yelled the Okie.

The man shouted, "But, I am a Texas fan!"

The Okie replied, "Jump, you dumb A$$, JUMP

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