Karaoke Forums

Ok, now that I have a opened up a can of worms...what if all these people weren't famous and they were subbing here..this is an example of the critique:

BRITTNEY SPEARS- You need to not have so much fx on your voice so we can hear how you really sound...  

a fluffer (or plusher) would tell her : you could be the next Madonna!!

JOE COCKER:  You  have a few pitch problems, you need to lower the key a few steps

MARILYN MONROE - You're breathing incorrectly..

MICK JAGGER - Forget it!!
STEVIE NICKS- Singing too low and way too much vibrato

CELINE DION- You're trying too hard to sound like Barbra Streisand

BARBRA STREISAND - You sound too nasal

ELVIS - You would do better if you didn't imitate yourself...

JANIS JOPLIN- Try not use so much overkill..some vocal training would really help you

JOE COCKER:  Joe,  That back of yours must be excruciating,  It's agonising just
                       having to listen to your howling in pain..If you want A little help from
                       your friends,  get a prescription for morphine,  It's difficult listening
                       to you crying into the microphone. Your band should get a singer.

Mick Jagger:    Kill that prissy Long Island accent, and see a speech therapist. Eat
                       a little,  you're skin and bones...you'll get sick and end up like that
                       corpse you drag onto the stage with you, the one with the guitar..
                       tuck in your lips... They are obscene..


Stevie Nicks:  You should be in therapy for the trauma you must've suffered when
                      you were a little girl.  Your singing voice depicts around what age the
                      event happened. Sounds like around 8 he made you cry, and
                      shattered your illusions of love... and change your name to
                      something like Bruce, or Fred,  but layoff my name

Elvis:                Your vibrato sounds like "The Chipmonks", quivery, and nervously
                        fast..  Your like a male version of Tiny Tim...

JANIS JOPLIN: Quit smoking, and cut the histrionic bullcrap. Get a prescription for
                       a beta-agonist too, It's bad enough that you suffer from asthma, but
                       why do you think people enjoy seeing you have an asthma attack
                       onstage ?

Bob Dylan:       It's great that you allowed the Byrds to cover your song Mr.
                        Tambourine man. Now give ALL your material to people that can
                        sing,  you're making an @$$ out've yourself... You're worse than
                        that tall girl that jumps up and down onstage the one that sings with
                        Crosby, Still's, and Nash.... You know who I mean,  that "young"
                        chick..

Rod Stewart:    Stick to digging graves, and soccer.. Why would Maggie want to
                        wake up, and start her day listening to a raspy guy with strep-
                         throat ?

_________________
Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

That was not fair Steven; you only cover 7 mostly from one genre. how about the rappers and countryers

_________________
I can neither confirm nor deny ever having or knowing anything about nothing.... mrscott

I lack the insight to qualify for giving an educated critique to those particular genre's, especially given the complex music theory that goes into the making of an artform such as Rap.. I'm afraid if I attempt those styles,  my critique would sound biased, and lack objectivity.

_________________
Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".

heck.. i would choose FIVE dollars over a bunch of 10s (anything less wouldn't really be worth sending a check).

As for having someone to specifically rank folks, it has been discussed & basically boils down to the fact that there isn't a person who could dedicate the time to doing it, professionally, for free (and still be qualified to do so).

So that leaves us monkeys... heheh

!! Are you kidding? We can't even get this level of critiquing for the folks here. An example of a typical SS 'Joe Cocker' critique would be:

"Wow! I really loved that song. I don't think I've heard it before, but man you made my day! There's nothing better than getting up in the morning and looking forward to hearing one of your subs. You ROCK dude!! Could you send me the lyrics so I can understand what you're saying? (oh crap... i didn't mean to write that out loud... quick quick! I need to go change all of my subs to JFF!!!)"

heheheh

Lol, oh gawd.

Speaking of critiquing Stevie Nicks, I was watching South Park the other day, and gawd, i almost peed my pants. There were going to have fleetwood mac perform for the american soldiers, and they all accidentally confused a goat that the boys had with them, for stevie nicks. EVen went and fought in iraq  to get her back. Then, had her perform on stage, and even went as far to comment to each other "wow, ms. nicks sure looks good nowadays"

Not that you care, but it was pretty darn funny to ME;)

I am probably the only south park watcher here, but, hey, it shows you how mature my sense of humor is, eh?:)


And Seby?



AHHHHHH!!!!!!!! OGGA BOOOGA!!!!!

Ok, done now. Go back to your regularly scheduled programming.

SouthPark is cool heheh

That sounds really funny... a goat.. heheheheh

now how could they possibly confuse a goat with Stevie Nicks???? (naaaaaahhhhhh)

heheheheh

I should seriously work on my vibratto... dontcha think?

and gilly?

ya made me pee my pants... ew... heheh