Karaoke Forums

I'm not married myself, although i have been, so i post these for all my married brothers everywhere. We always hear " the rules"
From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!



1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Chr istopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1 . Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or

motor sports


1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

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Sweet Little Me In Karaokeland........

George you know I adore you but ummm why are you allowing keith to use your nick?

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

I love all women, i just kinda thought it was cute.

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Sweet Little Me In Karaokeland........

Where is Charmin and her maul when I need her  LMAO

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[shadow=pink][glow=deepskyblue]. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
[updown]~*~ MONKEY BUSINESS KARAOKE~*~ [/shadow][/updown][/glow]

Gee Vicki, you took the words right outta my mouth  :hug:

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[shadow=white][scroll]Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.....It's about learning to dance in the rain[/scroll][/shadow]

ouch......common' ladies don't beat the messenger.... i have been married 4 times total, that i remember anyway. Loved them all. The one i loved the most past away. The others just couldn't live up to her somehow. I guess all the guys value their lives, i see no posting from any of them. I guess maybe they know better. Am i getting myself in deeper?  :worship:

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Sweet Little Me In Karaokeland........

 LMAO  LMAO  LMAO

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[shadow=pink][glow=deepskyblue]. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
[updown]~*~ MONKEY BUSINESS KARAOKE~*~ [/shadow][/updown][/glow]

Just endearing yourself George, you go right ahead sweetie  :hug:

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[shadow=white][scroll]Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.....It's about learning to dance in the rain[/scroll][/shadow]

Vicki this is all your fault for letting me talk like an idiot.....

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Sweet Little Me In Karaokeland........

poor Vicki it's always her fault.

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[shadow=pink][glow=deepskyblue]. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
[updown]~*~ MONKEY BUSINESS KARAOKE~*~ [/shadow][/updown][/glow]

Course not, they don't read ANYthing: They don't read books, can't read/understand directions, and are too proud to ever read a map. (this one we gals all know well)



We actually don't mind this one, it just gives us something to bytch at you about when there's nothing else.



Hey, hand us the truck keys and the credit card when the game comes on and we don't have a problem with that.



.... Duh!!



We've tried. The thing is, if we don't lay subtle hints, you'd NEVER come up with any good ideas about what we want. Then we have to watch you go into one of those manly "I'm no use, you'd be better off without me" rampages. So, we hint, albeit quite obviously, and allow you to "think" you came up with the idear on your own. So, that's all  for YOUR own good, not ours. We're just being thoughful:)



Huh-uh. YES-gives you a blackmail for later. ( "but you PROmised".. all we gals have heard that one before) NO- Means you turn into an instant arsehole cause you're not getting your way. MAYBE- Keeps you in a good mood, cause you know we're still willing to negotiate. (IF you behave)



No, cause when we go see our g/f's about it, it's SO much more dramatic if we can add to the end of our sad stories.. "and I tried to talk to HIM about it, but he ignored me..."  :crying2:  You're just a pawn in our sympathy game. Get over it, whatever.



No, men just have terrible memories compared to women- and you don't like to admit that you forget things so easily. I will admit, however, that we play on that a bit. I can make my husband believe all KINDS of things... he simply thinks he "forgot" about it.



On the flip side... if you thinks it's too small, chances are it is... quit asking us to tell you how it's "too big".



Okay, so if you're shopping for us and can't decide if we'd like the blue one or the peach one better... assume we'd like BOTH of them.



And get sweaty and break our fingernails in the process?
Ha- I don't know a SINGLE man who doesn't puff out his chest if a girl says "hun, can you move this, it's too heavy for me". That stuff feeds your ego, admit it.


And..... I'll stop there and leave some bytching room for some of the other gals;)

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

Okay, the Chris Columbus thing is a stretch, because the guy was trying to find the INDIES, and instead found a whole new couple of continents! But he thought he WAS in the Indies, and named the natives INDIANS...

BADDDDddd example!

hey, the couch is my new bedroom! !

That's funny, but true.....

I guess I broke a Rule, tho.....It's my ex who is camping, not me ....And it's almost Christmas.....I'm heartless, huh?

you gals are brutal.....

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Sweet Little Me In Karaokeland........